Sorry to hear about your son I lost my oldest son Andy who was 30 back in Dec. 2010 and I thought my world was ending but I pray a lot for peace and I have three other children that need me and nine beautiful grandchildren that love me. Where I find peace is in my Grandchildren, If you have other children try to talk with them about your son, that's what we do talk about all the good times we had together, I keep Andy's picture up and I have his Urn with his ashes sitting on my Mantal every morning I talk to him and that make the pain more bearable, the pain will not go away and there are times when I have to cry but this way you will learn to live with the pain we just have to continue to pray for peace of mind..............
Rowett, I haven't been on this site for a very long time but your post so touched my heart. I'm so sorry for the sudden loss of your son Adam. I too lost my 24 year old son three years ago suddenly in an accident. What changed my life was my Faith and joining a grief support group www.griefshare.org. This is a Faith based support group. That word Faith makes all the difference in the world when choosing a support group to join. Only by the grace of God am I here today. He will give you the strength you need. He will bring you comfort and a peace which surpasses all understanding. We don't understand why? but we can trust His heart. The love and support I have recieved through this group has helped me heal and has given me Hope. I now co-lead a group at my church. When you can't take one more step, it's then Jesus will carry you. I have made two wonderful friends who both lost their children at 18 years old. We get together socially and are were there for eachother whenever one of us is having a bad day. We also get together socially and have fun. We "get" eachother. Let's face it. People who haven't lost a child aren't going to understand. God is the God of all comfort. If your angry with God thats ok too. He can take it. let it out, tell Him how you feel. He Loves you and wants to help you on this journey. See Rowett He understands us better than anyone because He too lost a son. Anger is part of the grief process, it's natural. It's up to us to know when to let that go and start to let God help us heal. Unresolved Anger only leads to bitterness, poor health. We want to give up and just go be with our child. It's just too painful. Griefshare will help you work through all these feelings with people who have been there. The thing about grief is, we can't go over it, under it, around it, we have to go through it to get out the other side. God Bless, Lisa
Rowett, I lost my only child Jacob on 3/11/07. Have you gone to any kind of grief group...other than this web site? That is something you should do if you have not. It may seem like after 3 years you should be better, and my guess is you are a lot better most of the time, however, if you do not talk about your son, if you hide your grief and pretend, you will never heal. You will always miss your baby, but you will be able to think of him with smiles at things he did as he grew up, looks he made, all the happy times and even the hard times..If you are avoiding your feelings and hoping time alone will help you, I can tell you from first hand experience it will not. You must go through your grief in order to survive it. I would even suggest wiening yourself from any meds you may be taking to help you cope with feelings you don't want to cope with...it might be a step in the right direction anyway. I am always available if you would like to talk more. I am sending you hugs and smiles for a better tomorrow.
Hello Rowett, first please accept my condolences on the lost of your precious son. No one should have to go through the pain of losing a child...but, here we all are, it's just awful for everyone. Rowett, if I'm understanding you it sounds like you're trying to force yourself to get over your lose...If so I hope it's not at the urging of other people..those who have not lost a child tend not to understand that this is something we will never get over, we will live with this for the rest of our lives..yes, it may get easier but, only you when know that time...but, in the meantime you do what you feel is best for you..if that crying, screaming, yelling or whatever it takes to get you through the difficult time you do and don't feel bad for doing it. If you ever need to talk you can call on me anytime. God bless you Rowett, take care of yourself....Love,
Hi Tim, I think I have been calling you Rowett, is that you last name? I hope you are doing ok today and I really hope you got my message I sent you from my phone. You have been on my mind. Is the picture of your son or you? I think what happen to your son was an accident. I prayed that Jesus would give your peace. And I said some more things as well, but I cant find the message anywhere. I know it is so hard to get ahold of how in the world to deal with what we have gone through. Only people that have been in our shoes can only understand. And all of us deal differently. we all are not alike. But something we say or do can make a difference for someone else and help them cope with our losses. We can never replace our babies and it kills our soles to have to live without them, but they or someone has forced this upon us. It is not fair, not at all! But for some reason we were chosen. I know that there is life after death only in a different way. We just can do the best we can everyday to survive and look for some happieness. I really hope you got my message and was able to have your sons favorite meal and do something that your son liked to do to remember him by. Kindof like having a celebration with someone, only they are with us in spirit. I'm sure that if you done something good in rememberance of your son he was pleased. TTL Sharon
Hi Rowett, I just read your first entry. You know I feel the same way. I see my son everywhere in my house. He liked to fix things. To this day, nothing is done. My house feels empty too. I also know how you feel about wanting to run into a truck and end all of the pain. I know we won't do it because look at the pain we would cause our family and friends. We know how we feel, I know I can't put someone else in this pain. Recently I became very ill ,and I thought I was going to die. I told Jesus I am not going to leave my children the way my Mom and Son left us. It was this past Christmas when I was sick. Needless to say, here I am, I lived. God has plans for us. We just have to ask him to show us what he wants us to do. Talk to you again soon.
Hi Tim... How old was your son? Mine was 31. I have a hard time looking at his pictures. My daughters are having a hard time dealing with what has happen. I am lost for words. If you want to talk I'm here.
Hi Rowett, I am so sorry for the loss of your beautiful son Adam. You just nailed it on the head when you said he made your house a home, that was the way it was with my son, it just seems so quiet now. PLEASE find someone in your area that you can talk to about your feelings, I dont like that you say you want to drive into them! I know that pure pain and anguish, but you have to live to keep your Adams memory alive, when it is your time you will be with him.... I too cry all the time, mostly in the shower, I feel that as such a great release, Its been 15 months since my son was killed in a motorcycle accident, he is the love of my life, I think of him every sec ond of every day. PLEASE come here and let out all of your feelings, we are here to listen, If you are angry, go ahead and let it out,we dont judge on this site, you can say anything. I will hold you and sweet Adam in my heart.
Hello all I have to add to this wall the greatest Pain a person can ever hold is the loss of there child .My son Adam died jan 11th 2008 and from that point on I feel like the rest of the world has gone on without me I walk through our house allways remembering the small little things that made it our home and Adam was a very big part of that without him here its lost its charm and like a empty box I cry alot I never thought I would cry like this and it just doesnt end . I,m lost without adam in our life even though I have found my other son who I didnot raise I still feel lost and the pain never ends I see trucks and almost want to drive right into them and end this pain