First, I want to say how very sorry I am about the loss of your two daughters. I've lost my only son to complications of pneumonia, which shouldn't happen in this day and age. It was his doctor's negligence, telling him he wasn't "that sick and didn't have the flu or pneumonia", without any diagnostic testing of any kind. We've pursued legal means to at least have a disciplinary letter put into her file, but to no avail. At present, we have filed a formal Letter of Complaint to the Board of Medicine, and she is being investigated again.
When I read that you take exception to people telling you how strong you are, I just had to tell you how strongly I relate to that. One of my relatives keeps telling me how "strong" I am, and when I protest, she says, "Yes you are. You don't even realize it". Yea, right. Just because I manage to put one foot in front of the other doesn't mean that I'm "strong". Thankfully, I only have to see her on major holidays, and I know she's trying to make me feel better. The pain in my heart is so bad I wonder why I haven't had a heart attack and died from it. I stay here on earth to keep my son's memory alive in any way I can. He deserves that much...he was a good, kind, gentle, intelligent son, with a sense of humor that diffused many an argument both with family and friends. He is sorely missed.
I hope you have as peaceful a day as possible. Love and hugs to you, Janet
Donna I lost my only child in house fire. He was nine yrs old. I have walked the valley of death since Jan 9 2009. I went from being little league coach// Dad to nothing. The pain is still great. I hint at what you need to expect, from friends and family. The walk you are own is yours and yours alone. Do not expect to who I call the normal people to understand your pain. But know this is a club where you don't want them to become a member. Just know you will always be close to your daughters and even closer as you get older. Your new normal is not normal at all. You will have to departmentalize your life. You will learn to become a actor on the stage of life. Because thousand can not feel or even care about your pain. Find a grief share group at a local church and find friendship with those that share the same pain you are going through. Its the only way from keeping the gas and gun from you and doing a sin from which will never see your children again.
The only thing you need to know Donna is that your life has changed for ever, but you are not alone. There are many of us who question our situation and Gods judgment if by chance you believe the faith. But besides that, the real truth is: True happiness is gone forever and that you will find small joy in helping others. The hole is deep. Girl friend and boy friend problem are very small and trivial. You now know what a real worry is. Despair is real and the valley of death. But if you have the faith and the will. You will see her again. Faith in the promise is all that's left.
I lost 2 of my 3 daughters with cancer in the last 13 months. I know the feelings you are having. It has been just awful for me too. However, you have to keep going Donna. There are very few other alternatives. Some people have said they are in a better place. I say, "no, they were in a wonderful place here with their family!" But Donna, it was not to be. Hopefully, it is all for a reason other than to drive us crazy. Hold on just day by day. Talk about them to whoever will listen to you. I find that helps some. We are not the first mothers to feel this pain & we aren't going to be the last. Keep writing to us with your feelings. It will get easier for us I'm sure. Much love to you, Shirley
Donna, It is hard everyday. But it will get easier to bear I promise. What happened to your children? Talking about it will help. Knowing that you are not alone in your loss will help. I lost my son 3 1/2 years ago, my only child, I cannot even begin to know what it is like to lose 2 children, but I am here to listen if you want to talk.
hello,my name is Donna. I once had the name of MOM but that name is no longer called. I lost both of my children within 7months of each other. Leigh died 8/4/08 and Dawn 4/18/09. Like all of you I also wake up every moring and just go thru all the motions. People keep telling me it gets easier with time. NO it does'nt!!!!! If anythind it has gotten worse!!! Every day is a reminder that my Dawn & Leigh are gone,Really gone.
I have to go I can't type thru the tears.