Thank you for your response Annette, I hope when I get a little stronger I will be able to do more. For now I am just breathing deeply, and trying to cope. I viewed your memorial and it was a beautiful tribute to your son. God Bless
I feel like our son were very much alike. So many of the qualities you spoke about with Chase, are exactly Tommy's personality. Our boy's were here to teach us all a lesson on living life to the fullest. I believe their purpose in life was accomplished, and they had learned all God intended them to learn as well. I also believe they had a sixth sense about their lives which made them get into the things they did.... live life by the horns, love everything, everyone, and enjoy every moment to the fullest with wreckless abandon. My son seemed to have no fear of the future.... no fear of consequences. Very impulsive. Drug use did not take his life, but his marajuana use contributed to the choices he made.... or visa versa. He was in the place he was on that night because of those choices... God leads us to where we are going, and yet he gives us free will to do it on our own. Their days were few, but they were powerful. I am still trying to get my sea legs and figure out where to go from here. I am praying that God gives me direction soon. I want to help young people who are hurted or on drugs. I am a teacher, and feel I could start there... just have not been able to return to work yet. Love, Shannon
Annette, I just had to write you, I just watched your video and omg Tears were rolling, oh how I can relate with everything you said and the other lady's too..Let me just say first how Beautiful you are....... I think more parents need to speak out to schools, children, young adults , they all need to be educated about this drug use its very serious!!!! Yes I have a facebook please look for me Ronda Gray Johnston, I have a black & white pic an old photo booth pic of me & Sean when he was young, that's my profile pic would love to be friends on FB, what is your profile pic I will look for u too. I would love to keep in touch. God Bless you & sending u a Hug.... Love Ronda
Hi Annette - It seems so unbelievable that so many of our beautiful sons and daughters can be taken in this way. Tyler had parents who adored him and who would have done anything to help him, wonderful friends who were always there for him, a spectacular girlfriend who only wanted the best for him. I ask every day ' WHY WASN'T THAT ENOUGH??? ' He suffered from depression since his early teens. That led to excessive drinking much later on. When his girlfriend and friends interceded, he stopped drinking, but he obviously needed to still get high. He turned to inhalants (computer duster) which is not a drug as much as it is a poison. We immediately got him into out patient treatment. But three weeks later he was dead.
It kills me that this can define his entire life. He was brilliant, funny, kind, loving, so many good things. He found Jesus Christ on his own at age 13 and was baptized two days before September 11, 2001. So the only solace I have is knowing that he is in heaven. Even though I have given up the guilt I suffered from shortly after his death, I will go to my grave asking what could I have done differently, is there anything I could have said or did that would have changed the outcome.
I think of Tyler 24/7 as well, and I never know when the pain will strike. That pain that causes you to break down until you feel like you can't breathe. But I can't look at any of his pictures. None of them. Just a glance is enough to remind me I'll never see his face again, never hear his laugh, never feel his bear hugs. I felt so much closer to God after Tyler passed and I thanked Tyler every minute for that gift. But with the anger came an inability to feel close to God any more. It is something I try to work through but haven't been able to. I know that He sees me and hears my cries, and I know He is patiently waiting for me to come back to Him.
Keep in touch. I will pray for your and your beautiful son.
Hi again, Annette - I went to your son's web page. My son, too, had found Christ when he was 13. He loved Him and embraced Him and tried to bring Him to others. The only solace I have is knowing Tyler is safe in the arms of Our Lord. I felt very, very spiritual in the first few months after his passing, but gradually I became angry with God for allowing my beautiful baby to be taken so soon. I am trying hard to find my way back to Him, but I still am conflicted. I like to think of all of our beautiful children looking down from heaven at us, but the truth is I WANT MY SON BACK. Keep in touch - it really helps. God Bless, JoAnn
Hi Annette - I lost my 24 year old son Tyler, my only child, to inhalant use in January of 2010. He had been using inhalants for 3 weeks. No prior drug use, only alcohol. He, too, had dark hair and blue eyes. We are all in this together. Please keep in touch - this is the only solace I have - knowing I am not alone in this.
Hello Annette, Nice to meet you but not under these circumstances.... First of all I want to tell you I'm very sorry for your loss of your handsome son Chase. my Sean had some pretty blue eyes too. We miss him terribly, I feel like part of me went with him , I have a broken heart!!!!!!! Yesterday was 4 months he's been gone... I just need to keep telling my self he's with Jesus now & that's a wonderful thing, He doesn't have anymore temptations & have to struggle with that horrible demon any longer.....Its been 4 months & were still waiting for the autopsy report to find out what Sean took that took his life, I know he took some pills & maybe Drank some alcohol but I need to know everything!!!! Every time I go to our mail box I have a sick feeling in my stomach thinking this will be the day we get the report, We also haven;t gotten his death certificate & that's gonna Hurt real bad too......Thank you for writing to me & keep in touch please..... Sending you a hug. Bye for now, Ronda
I wanted to share something with you, the other night, I went to bed and my little dog sleeps with me, anyway she would not go to sleep instead she layed on my pillows and wrapped herself around my neck, and layed there for about an hour and growled and winned with her ears up. She has never acted that way, I tried to comfort her, but no such luck after awhile I guess we feel asleep, the next morning I felt so good, my heart felt so good, I went to work, it was a good day, I know in my heart Ben was there in my room, how could I feel this way if he wasn't, now I feel bad because I hope I did'nt scare him away because my dog would'nt go to sleep and he know that when I go to bed I need my sleep, I am a letter carrier and if I dont sleep, my day is horrible. anyway I wanted to share that with you.
No thank you is necessary. As one mother to another,we are in this together. I feel your pain.
It is only through knowing, that God will someday reunite Ric and I,that gets me through each day.If you ever nedd to talk,just e-mail me.
Annette, I am so deeply sorry for your loss. I lost my son 2/14/10 to alcoholism. It's so hard for us to understand how they could do that to themselves. I hope that our boys are in a better place and FINALLY have some peace. One breath at a time, one step at a time.
Hi Annette. Thanks for writing. the kind words are nice . Your story made me feel a little better because you were helping your son . You were aware and helping ... I knew something was strange. But I didn't intervene. I didn't live with my son.Something was changing his brain. I didn't try to intervene get a cell phone talk to him everyday. send him special love packages just little gifts. I regret not being the super overprotective worrier for him ... He needed more help. From everyone who loved him. My sleep is horrendous thinking of what I didn't do. How could I be so selfish. How could I think he was alright? Carrie
Hi annette I tried your yahoo account but it didn't work. I am sorry for your loss .. I went to your memorial site and it was very nice. I don't have a site yet for my son. but my mind won't quit. I want him so much as you want your baby Carrie L
Thank you back. I just posted pictures of my son and his family on my page. They are really wonderful and yes I am happy to have them here to keep my mind off of what has happened.
Keep the faith...we are all in the same boat
My name is Lynn and I just lost my beautiful daughter of 29. She overdosed more times than I can count on Prescription xanax given her by a pill pushing physc dr. Do not know yet if that is what caused her death, but I do know she tried to live without it and went to detox to get it out of her system, but found life hard without it. I miss her so much and only wish I could've been there to help her more, no one that has not lost a child understands the empyness and helplesnes you feel. I do know that our Lord can heal our pain , but I'm not ready to be healed yet, I have to many quiestions relating to her death, as still waiting on autopsy, another 4weeks to go. Only God can heal our youth, the question is how do we get to them? Went to church youth group and there were 5 young people there, where are the parents and there children?
Your son was a handsome young man, I'm heartbroken for any who have lost a child no matter the cause.