Hurting's Comments

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At 2:55pm on October 8, 2011, heather said…

dear hurting so much time has passed the months go on and on and I thought my pain would get better.  No it doesn't sometime being alone with my thoughts i turn to God and say why God do I have to feel like this? He says I was the strong one to go on alone, but I don't feel that strong any one else feel like I do.  My grown children live their lives, I have great grandchildren I don't see that often and it hurts me too I'm hoping I truly meet someone someday to feel the gaps and hours to feel happiness again and love it may happen I hope it does.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

At 2:55pm on October 8, 2011, heather said…

dear hurting so much time has passed the months go on and on and I thought my pain would get better.  No it doesn't sometime being alone with my thoughts i turn to God and say why God do I have to feel like this? He says I was the strong one to go on alone, but I don't feel that strong any one else feel like I do.  My grown children live their lives, I have great grandchildren I don't see that often and it hurts me too I'm hoping I truly meet someone someday to feel the gaps and hours to feel happiness again and love it may happen I hope it does.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

At 12:13pm on January 10, 2011, heather said…
thanks for getting back to me I still check in once in awhile and read the posting on Legacy.  It has been almost 10 months since I lost Jimmy he is missed so much I just have my routine everyday and try not to be depressed.  I'm on oxygen and have my health problems I will be 62 next month.  The Holidays were tough for me I was all alone family had their Christmas's but I was left here by myself.  It seems I wasn't important at all to them.  I didn't have any presents to open except my youngest daughter gave me money by phone to get the ereader I was talking about I did appreciate her gift.  I've come to realize that happiness is within and I have to take care of myself and not depend on anyone else.  I hope so much you are happy too we have to go on with our lives God has a plan for everyone and I believe Jimmy is happy with God in heaven and he would want me to be happy.  Take care and write to me when you can you are special.
At 7:22pm on November 7, 2010, Basia said…
I wonder if we will count forever
At 10:46pm on October 27, 2010, Kimberley Pircio said…
Thank you! You have helped me more than you could ever imagine! I am so sorry for your loss! God Bless You! Kim
At 7:39am on October 10, 2010, heather said…
It's been a long six months although I'm crying a little less I still feel so empty inside. Everyday I long for a hug, a kiss, and seeing his beautiful green eyes they were amazing and I always saw love in his eyes. I am the disabled one on oxygen 24/7 he took care of me, watched over me and worried about me. So losing him on March 26th was the worst day of my life. I log on to the site to know others are grieving as I am God has a plan he is my strength but having support here helps too, God bless everyone and take care
At 10:11am on September 16, 2010, Basia said…
Hope you are ok , my fellow day counter.
Thinking of you and sending love and hugs.
At 7:49am on September 16, 2010, Fernandohulya said…
Hurting my son is refusing to talk at the moment but my daughter is starting to talk more about their Dad. It is still so raw that I burst into tears all day. I am starting counseling next Monday with an apparently good counselor. My son Lee is holding up the grieving process by not talking about Fernando and it makes me feel so useless because I thought we could talk about anything in this family. I will try and feel it he is the right person for me and if he is not then i will have to change to someone I am comfortable. To be honest maybe a counselor is not the best way to go for me but I am looking at other options such widows group(s)who have gone through the same situation as me. I think we got to try something once. Good to hear from you.
At 9:56am on September 12, 2010, Fernandohulya said…
I am not that good because Fernando's Birthday in 10 days. My daughters Birthday was yesterday. I am feeling very soar and depressed constantly crying. How things going for you? How is the family doing? I have made an appointment for a counsellor, just to try it it works?
At 4:06pm on August 25, 2010, Fernandohulya said…
Hurting, good to hear from you. I think family are so strange these days and to be honest family means for me the children and I. The amazing situation is that I have found another family who cares for me and that is this site, so family does not need to be blood related. That is a strange thing to say from your father in law for a 90 year old man, but did it make your stronger with the children that matters more. I wish could be there in person for you but maybe one day but it must have been amazing for you even though it is a shame he could not be there with you. You are so strong and thank you so much for the prayers.

with lots of hugs

yours truly

Hulya
At 3:39pm on August 21, 2010, Fernandohulya said…
Dear Hurting, it is going to be 6 month for me on the 25 of August and I am having my usual dark days again. I hope you doing okay!
At 1:05pm on August 13, 2010, Fernandohulya said…
Hurting, I did not hear from you a while! Please, if you can tell me how it is going with you and the family. Thank you!

lots of hugs
At 1:11pm on July 13, 2010, Fernandohulya said…
but lets not talk about this anymore please. Do you want me on facebook tomorrow so we can have a chat for a while. I am so worked up because I want to dream about him again instead I am watching past video footages and presto he is alive again.
At 1:08pm on July 13, 2010, Fernandohulya said…
Hurting I am doing all this but the law does not care because the recession is the firsy worry so resources are outstreched. I just want to grieve for my Baby and be left alone with my children. My husband met him before me and this old man took him for a ride. He lives free of rent and no bills and tells all my neighbours I want him out. I have tried to get legal aid but I have to use my husbands gravestone money.
I hope this crazy men gets what he deserves. My children are scared he is going to do something because he theratend that he will blow and burn the house down and they are not sure if that is just to upset me. last Sunday he got a chain and robe and told my children while i was upstairs not to mention they saw their father dying the he would kill himself while dangling it in front of them. He knows his age is the advantage and he is calm and very clever.
At 10:16am on July 12, 2010, Fernandohulya said…
Hurting, there is something else going on in the family but it is a long story affecting us all. When we got married my husband lived with this old man Tony and he called him uncle. Never really asked about him if he really was related I found out after he is not relations. So around 4-5 after so many times we tried to get him out gentle we offered money to go get another place. Apparently my husband took him in because he felt sorry and in mine upbringing (being Turkish) we look after the eldest. He declined and my husband had an argument so we left it alone although I saw a change in my husbands attitude with him and he said that when we got together and married Tony said I was trouble. I spoiled his plans. This man even asked my husband on his first chemo to give him money around 10000 and on his third visit when he had plural effusion around 15000. When he came back from his second holiday (work trip and keeps the money in his pocket) by the way I pay everything from food to water etc... Now he waited four month he wants 50000. there is more but I am to tired if his nasty behaviour he is 80 old and a devil. My children fear him.

Money brings the uglines.
At 6:01pm on July 11, 2010, Fernandohulya said…
I feel the same about you Hurting, the only person who understands what we gone through with our soulmates. the world is a lonely place so much even if I am surrounded it feels so empty. A friend called me this morning and said she dreamed about Fernando twice last week the same dream and another on Saturday, that we were arguing and my Baby was upset and saying what this man is doing in my house. So why is he not coming in my dreams? I am missing him and why is he abounden me. I am alone and waiting in pain. I just love him but I do not understand feeling like a lost child. I am so tired sometimes. I love the children so much but the pain is driving me to the edge. Life supposed to be a journey and not a destination so what does my journed say about my life?? Why are so far apart??
At 10:11am on July 9, 2010, Fernandohulya said…
Hurting, you still miss him so much that why we are in this situation and the presence of our loved ones are with us. Sometimes I can barely look at them for what I forgot to do, looking after their Dad better and done everything to beat cancer. My head is getting why did I not do that. I feel so ashamed that I lost him and I had happiness in my life. This is it we can not do something that reminds of my Baby at the moment. I am trying to assemble pictures and videos but even this proves me gettting into depression mode and watching it over and over till I just do not want to get up anymore. I want to show the life of their Dad too and we have in a way done some with my Baby but the rest is going to be difficult as he was Italian living over there. Going to travel to Italy will be one the hardest thing we want to do. I have tried not to get these thoughts but it does not get better.

hugs

Another thing has came up and it is a long story but this person has disgraced my husbands memory and I thought that what my husband has done for him this would never happen. This man is nearly 80 and my husband has treated him like a father but I guess money cames first.
At 3:24pm on July 7, 2010, Fernandohulya said…
Hurting, thanks so much for caring. How are you keeping up? I am at the moment so stressed and depressed that I even can not go online and do little tasks. Also the holidays start so what to do with the children?? I feel so overwhelmed! I miss him so much that my emotions literally change by the hour. My Angle where is he, I wish it would be me too. It just does not stop!

How is the family and what are you going to do durning the summer holidays?
At 11:10am on June 29, 2010, Fernandohulya said…
We need to figure out this online chat so on Wednesdays when you need a chat I will be there!

hugs
At 11:08am on June 29, 2010, Fernandohulya said…
I know somtimes I understand my children but sometimes there is this longing to be re-united with him as husband and wife. My children are the same they slept in our bed, till now, my youngest (son) took on the role. I do love them so much but the pain is so great and it will not stop. It is getting worse by the month because I realize when is he going to came back, the truth.... I do not want think about it but I am and have to. So at night and at day! My children need to be away from with their friends, I think they are better of there some how.

Fernando loved the summer so much, that is his favourite time of the year, sand and the beach. What a party man and he loved to life to fullest. He wants me to live happy and not be alone but why would he say these things to me, did he not know I love him! Why could in it not me who pas... and he would be still here with his kids and get his wish of seeing his grandchildren. My children are 15 and 11. He loved the good life and enjoyed himself.

I wrote something on the guest book and lite a candle.

Your children sound really lovely and family will never understand much although my nan pas.. the day after my husband funeral, she was my best friend. So I lost both of my best friends, my Baby and Nan. So, sitting her and my family wants to help but they just do not understand.

I just want him back!

with lots of warm hugs Hari from Hulya

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