Shirley zurschmeide's Comments

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At 7:20am on May 4, 2017, shirley zurschmeide said…

It's been over nine years since Scott went away.  I look at his picture and I get this pain in my heart and I can't believe he is gone from my eyes. I still and I will always cry for him. 

At 7:40am on October 12, 2012, Tami said…
Hi Shirley, I am going way back to when I started this site and seeing how parents are coping, I hope that you are doing well.

Tami
At 7:40pm on June 14, 2011, Alicia Rodriguez said…
Shirley so sorry for you're loss i lost my beloved son on 7/12/09 he was 28 i miss him everday GOD BLESS YOU.
At 9:41am on December 18, 2010, Carrie L said…

Hi Shirley your blog was very nice to read. I am sorry for both of us and hope we can find some peace later. I am glad you believe in god. I am there but don't go to church much.. You are very sweet and your son was probably very much like you. I am a bit ornery and my son was like that but also very care free and very unique. thanks for talking Carrie L

At 12:52am on September 17, 2010, TAMMY said…
HELLO MS SHIRLEY HOPE ALL IS WELL WITH U AND YRS THKS 4 ADDING ME AS A FRIEND I HAVE HAD U ON MY MIND TO WONDERING HOW U WERE DOING AND ALL GOODNITE AND GOD BLESS HUN.
At 8:41pm on August 6, 2010, TAMMY said…
OOOOOOO MRS SHIRLEY GOOD 4 U IM SO GLAD 2 HEAR IT SORRY IT TOOK A MIN 4 ME 2 GET BACK 2 U BUT 4 THA LAST 3 DAYS THA SYSTEM WOULDNT LET ME LOG INTO THA SIGHT 4 SOME REASON R THA OTHER BUT ANYWAY I WANTED 2 SAY 2 U I RESPECT YOUR FEELING AND ALL BUT I ALSO WANT U 2 LIFT SOME OF THA LOAD OFF OF U AND U HAVE MADE THA FIRST STEP AND THAT IS GREAT IT WILL TAKE A LITTLE TIME AND THATS OK TAKE ALL THA TIME U NEED THERE IS NO RUSH AND THINGS WILL B BETTER 4 EVERYONE OK GOD BLESS U AND YOURS HOPE 2 HEAR FROM U SOON OK HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND BYE 4 NOW.
At 8:41pm on August 6, 2010, TAMMY said…
OOOOOOO MRS SHIRLEY GOOD 4 U IM SO GLAD 2 HEAR IT SORRY IT TOOK A MIN 4 ME 2 GET BACK 2 U BUT 4 THA LAST 3 DAYS THA SYSTEM WOULDNT LET ME LOG INTO THA SIGHT 4 SOME REASON R THA OTHER BUT ANYWAY I WANTED 2 SAY 2 U I RESPECT YOUR FEELING AND ALL BUT I ALSO WANT U 2 LIFT SOME OF THA LOAD OFF OF U AND U HAVE MADE THA FIRST STEP AND THAT IS GREAT IT WILL TAKE A LITTLE TIME AND THATS OK TAKE ALL THA TIME U NEED THERE IS NO RUSH AND THINGS WILL B BETTER 4 EVERYONE OK GOD BLESS U AND YOURS HOPE 2 HEAR FROM U SOON OK HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND BYE 4 NOW.
At 8:52pm on August 3, 2010, TAMMY said…
HI MRS SHIRLEY HOPE TODAY WAS BETTER THAN YESTERDAY MY NAME IS TAMMY AND I WAS READING YOUR POST AND MY HEART WENT OUT TO U AND THE FIRST THANG THAT CAME TO MIND WAS SCOTT WOULDNT WANT U 2 SUFFER AND WORRY ABOUT THE SMALL STUFF CAUSE HE SOUND LIKE HE WAS A LEVEL HEADED WELL PUT 2GETHER TYPE OF GUY EVEN THO THE GIRLFRIEND HAS SOMEWHAT MOVED ON AND U FEEL SHE SHOULDNT HAVE THINK ABOUT THIS HE LEFT HER THOSE THINGS BECAUSE HE WAS A GREAT LOVING GUY AND WANTED TO DO THE RIGHT THING BY HER AND THE RELATIONSHIP AT THE TIME SO IT WASNT LIKE SHE TOOK ANYTHING FROM HIM OUT OF SPITE R ANYTHING LIKE THAT AND EVEN THO HE IS GONE IN YOUR HEART OF HEARTS U NO U RAISED A MAN A WONDERFUL MAN AND HE DONT SOUND LIKE A PERSON WHO WOULD REGRET ANYTHING SO IN SAYIN THAT LET IT GO AND THINK OF ALL THE GOOD TIMES AND HAPPY TIMES U ALL SHARED AND NO HE SEE U AND HEAR U MRS SHIRLEY AND THAT HE LOVES U DEARLY AND WOULDNT WANT U TO DRAIN YOURSELF IN THIS WAY AND ALSO NO THAT WHAT GOES AROUND COMES BACK AROUND THE BATTLE IS NOT YOURS AND ITS ALREADY DONE LET HER AND GOD DEAL WITH IT GOD BLESS U AND I HOPE THIS HELPS IF U WANT TO TALK PLEASE LEAVE ME A MESS AND I WILL BE GLAD TO TALK TO YOU MORE BYE FOR NOW AND TRY TO REST YOUR SOUL FOR SCOTT SAKE OK SMILE SWEETIE AND REMEMBER NOTHING BUT GREAT TIMES.
At 8:52pm on August 3, 2010, TAMMY said…
HI MRS SHIRLEY HOPE TODAY WAS BETTER THAN YESTERDAY MY NAME IS TAMMY AND I WAS READING YOUR POST AND MY HEART WENT OUT TO U AND THE FIRST THANG THAT CAME TO MIND WAS SCOTT WOULDNT WANT U 2 SUFFER AND WORRY ABOUT THE SMALL STUFF CAUSE HE SOUND LIKE HE WAS A LEVEL HEADED WELL PUT 2GETHER TYPE OF GUY EVEN THO THE GIRLFRIEND HAS SOMEWHAT MOVED ON AND U FEEL SHE SHOULDNT HAVE THINK ABOUT THIS HE LEFT HER THOSE THINGS BECAUSE HE WAS A GREAT LOVING GUY AND WANTED TO DO THE RIGHT THING BY HER AND THE RELATIONSHIP AT THE TIME SO IT WASNT LIKE SHE TOOK ANYTHING FROM HIM OUT OF SPITE R ANYTHING LIKE THAT AND EVEN THO HE IS GONE IN YOUR HEART OF HEARTS U NO U RAISED A MAN A WONDERFUL MAN AND HE DONT SOUND LIKE A PERSON WHO WOULD REGRET ANYTHING SO IN SAYIN THAT LET IT GO AND THINK OF ALL THE GOOD TIMES AND HAPPY TIMES U ALL SHARED AND NO HE SEE U AND HEAR U MRS SHIRLEY AND THAT HE LOVES U DEARLY AND WOULDNT WANT U TO DRAIN YOURSELF IN THIS WAY AND ALSO NO THAT WHAT GOES AROUND COMES BACK AROUND THE BATTLE IS NOT YOURS AND ITS ALREADY DONE LET HER AND GOD DEAL WITH IT GOD BLESS U AND I HOPE THIS HELPS IF U WANT TO TALK PLEASE LEAVE ME A MESS AND I WILL BE GLAD TO TALK TO YOU MORE BYE FOR NOW AND TRY TO REST YOUR SOUL FOR SCOTT SAKE OK SMILE SWEETIE AND REMEMBER NOTHING BUT GREAT TIMES.
At 6:41am on July 29, 2010, shirley zurschmeide said…
Today is Scott's 40th Birthday. I will release 40 ballons at the cemetary today with help from a great friend. Memories are all I have to hang on to. This morning I lit candles all thru the house to let Scott know I was here. I put his picture on my face book page. I pray God gives me the strength to get thru the day without too many tears. I put an article in the courier jounal in memory of Scott. I was seventeen when I gave birth to him. Today I will stop drinking so much. With God's help we can do anything.
At 5:56pm on June 27, 2010, shirley zurschmeide said…
Each day that goes by I think of my scon Scott. I talk about him more with friends. I can talk about him now and know he's okay, I miss him and always will. His pictures are all thru my home so I see his face every day. I can remember our last conversation we had in my kitchen. We talked about that I was suppose t die before him, I look back and think why did we have that talk, that was the last time I talked to Scott face to face. He talked about he thought that him and his girlfriend was going to break up. He came over to eat pizza. I can tell you where he was standing in the kitchen. Sometimes I'll stand in that spot. I see him wearing sandles with socks. Yes it's still hard to believe he won't be coming thru the door any longer. I don't hear Hey, Hey what's going on. It's still hard for me and always will be. I love him so very much, my son is my strenght. We are so much alike. Save a place for me Scott, hope to see you soon. Mom
At 7:03am on March 31, 2010, shirley zurschmeide said…
Since Scott has died my other two sons has gone down hill. His death has affected us all. Corey out of rehab, can't find a job and he thinks I'm his bank. Ben is being mislead by his step-mother and he won't call me and when I call him we argue. And I don't have my son Scott to help me, he would call them and set them straight. Scott is the oldest and the strongest of my sons. He always took care of his self. God how I miss and need him here with me. I feel I am alone. My husband don't like Corey so he won't help him and Corey don't like my husband. I don't like my life right now. No matter what I do it always comes back to this.
At 10:19am on March 23, 2010, richard mom said…
So galg to hear from you .Angel days are so hard.It was no accident.I'm sure you know that.Scott was proabley laughing right along with you two.To relive some of your time with him brings him closer.Is things better for you have you gotten to see your grandchildren.Has your other son grew up any.What about the job.I know how you feel My mother is in a nurseing home now ,she goes from the nurseing home to the hosiptal.My daughter is in jail which is the only time she isn't doing drugs.Which is a relief 9 years she's been on this road going nowhere .We have very little contact .My other child a boy thinks the whole world has done him wrong and that goes double for his family.His girlfriend wears one leg of his pants.My last grandparent died last April after we'd just lost Richard so life as I knew it will never be the same .But I knew that when Richard left I just had no ideal to what degree,I'm like you I thank God for 35 years with him,and I thank him for bringing him home for those years before he left.Richard had lived in Lewisburg Tenn.for 9 years then he came home.He'd been home 5 and the generation gap had closed we became close and friends we laughed together.I really hope things are better for you.
At 9:10am on January 16, 2010, shirley zurschmeide said…
It will be two years in March that my son Scott died. I'll always cry for him and I talked to him when I'm alone. Scott will turn forty this year, I used to kid about his birthday turning forty. And I'd always say on his birthday this many years ago I was seventeen and a hot mama and he would roll his eyes at me say and here we go again. I'll always miss Scott, he's in my heart and soul. I know Scott has a lot friends that were truly his brothers and sisters. I didn't get to meet them all but they were there on that day. He is a great person, always there for everybody to lend a hand. I thank God for the thirty seven years we had together. I believe in God, I believe in his spirits. I know he hears me when I talk to him and he sees me when I cry. I believe in the after life. I believe his soul lives on in another place and we will be together when it's my turn, Scott will be waiting for me. I believe.........
At 6:24am on December 22, 2009, shirley zurschmeide said…
another holiday for us to get thou, I have been to scott's grave and hung Christmas in his tree and on his stone. I always include my son in the holidays. Since scott's has been gone my life has been a mess. I lost his family and to never to step a foot in to his home again, it's painful but I do understand the reason. I and go to bed early. But I go to work everyday and my work place is horrible I work in patient food service and some on the employees are disrespectful to management and they come to work when they want to, so there for I pick up the slack. Their work habits if they have any for most them are unacceptable. So I deal with a lot pain at work. I have another son who can't get his life together and always asking for money so all my savings are gone. I really don't like to be around him because not only is he always wanting money but he's a complainer always about something. I have a three year old granddaughter that I have only seen twice. I have a nine month old grandson whose mother has ran off with him and I haven't seen him in three weeks at least now I don't have to deal with the wicked step-grandmother who always had to control everything. This woman don't have a relationship with her own grandson and son. So I guess she thought well I control this family. She is the most horrible woman I have known. She lies,manipulates my son and his girlfriend so that's why she ran away from their home. And her husband is too naive to see the real woman he married even thou he's been told many of time to open up his eyes. Some days I wonder why I haven't had a nervous break down or a heart attack. My life is horrible and I can't wait until it's over. Just thought I spill my guts today and let it all out there.

Shirley
At 12:33pm on October 11, 2009, shirley zurschmeide said…
For all of us who has lost a child, the pain never goes away but you live on until it's your turn to die and you can't go until the Lord calls for you or you may not get to go where you child is. I know I thought about suicide when my son died, all I wanted to do was to be with him. But as I read books on dieing and their spirits. How in their own way our children still connect with us. We just have to pay attention to the signs they send us. It's been almost two years since Scott died. I will always cry for him and I talk to him believing he hears me. So you will live until it's you time and you will carry the pain each day. People will say time heals all things, we know that's not true. This is how I have came to realize this is how it is. You can't change it, you can't take your life only the Lord can. So we wait for our turn to die. I believe our children will be there waiting for us to help us to cross over. It's worth waiting for don't you think. We can all form a group where we can get together talk,laugh, cry and help each other. We together are the only ones who really knows our pain.

Shirley
At 6:57pm on September 23, 2009, shirley zurschmeide said…
Colleen, our son's death will never be easy for us. I spent my birthday at the funeral home. Scott has been gone well it will be two years in March. When I'm driving and I look up at the clouds I'll say Scott where are you. Sometimes when I'm home alone I'll talk to him. I miss him so much, sometimes I feel he'll come thru the door and say hey woman and I would say I'm not a woman I'll your mom. I go to Scott's grave and the tree that is by his grave I have hung wind chimes and nailed a UofL sign to the tree. Scott was my first child I had him when I was seventeen. So we spent alot of time together. It'll get some what easier but the pain will always be there. What ever I can do for you I'm here. If you need somebody to talk to, we can get together and share our grief and we can cry.

Shirley
At 10:55pm on September 22, 2009, Colleen Dore said…
Shirley, your sons birthday, is the day my son Robby died, and like you, me and my son had the same type of relationship, his funeral was Aug 1, 2009, my wedding anniversary, my life will never be the same, and I can't stop thinking about him, and I usually cry all day/night. I miss him so much and its killing me inside. My husband will not listen to me he does not want to talk about it anymore, I can't forget and move on like that. I am so depressed, I feel your pain, with every breath I take, I just want my son back!
At 2:23pm on September 15, 2009, Cindy Sadler said…
I totally understand how you feel about when "our" final day comes. I am no longer afraid and like you I am looking forward to the day that I can be with my son again. I also have a Beautiful 9 year old Daughter so I am letting nature take it course opposed to living a "high risk" Life. Kisses for you. Cindy
At 1:35pm on September 2, 2009, Linda said…
Hi Shirley, I have read that purple light is your guardian angel or spirit guide watching over you. I read this in the book, Journey of Souls by Michael Newton, PhD. This book is his case studies of patients he put in superconscious states and was able to regress them back to their lives in the spirit world. Most of these people's stories are very similar, just as the stories of near death experiences are similar in scope. Whatever the purple light was, please know that you were meant to see it as a sign that your son is and always will be around you. God bless you in your journey. Linda

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