Linda G.'s Comments

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At 9:34pm on June 20, 2011, MaggieP said…
Linda,
Today, I read that it is very healthy to keep a journal of what we are going through..out thoughts and feelings. I have never liked writing in a journal. Later in the day I realized that we are all here at this site writing what we feel from day to day. It is all here to look at later. I am journaling
At 8:20am on June 20, 2011, Christy said…

Hello Linda,

I hope you are having a good day. I am at my brother's house in Troutman. My mom & I are geting ready to go to Wilmington and I was hoping to see you maybe before we leave. I'd like to share that cup of coffee we talked about. Maybe you could follow us down & go to your place at Surf City. My cell # (770) 633-5661 if you get this messg. soon & want to meet. If not perhaps another time. Hugs, Christy

 

At 10:45pm on June 16, 2011, MaggieP said…
Linda, what wonderful news... A good day. I have heard so many god things about curves! I am finding new friends, and you will too! Three grandchildren that think you are the most wonderful person and are so excited to see you are three good reasons to get your health back. You are fortunate!!!
At 8:17pm on June 15, 2011, Debbie Treadway said…
Linda, I understand exactly what you are saying. Next week will be 10 months that my Waymon has been gone. I miss him as much today as I did the day he passed away. But like you I have made it through quite a few firsts and am still getting up and going to work every day. The pain is still here but like you say it is not as stabbing and excruciating as it was 9 months ago. Now I have another first ahead of me next week my daughter, sil and I are going on vacation for the first time without Waymon. I have such mixed feelings. i know he would want me to enjoy myself, but I feel so guilty going and having fun without him.I don't know how to do this without feeling guilty. I just hope God will give me the strength to work through this. Hugs and prayers to you.
At 9:44pm on June 13, 2011, Debbie Treadway said…
Linda, I'm glad your day turned out okay. I know what you mean about holding it together in front of others. I always try to keep from crying in front of my daughter. I had a hard week. My 42 year old niece passed away Sunday was a week ago and we had a memorial service for her yesterday. It was very hard because i was very close to her, but I made it thru okay. We will make it through Father's Day just like we have made it through all the other firsts. I think we are getting stronger every day and I know that God will be there with us to help us through it. I will continue to pray for you knowing that you will have another milestone this week with it being 8 months since Neal passed away. Prayers and hugs to you.
At 8:09am on June 13, 2011, Christy said…

It sounds like you had a really nice day. As for the photos uploading, it seems technology has a way of being difficult over what should be simple & easy. Errr. Yes, I have had some trouble w/ this myself this wkend.We have been to Surf City/ pier. How nice to have a place there! We do not have any reservations anywhere, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed we find something last minute.:-)

At 8:09am on June 13, 2011, Christy said…

It sounds like you had a really nice day. As for the photos uploading, it seems technology has a way of being difficult over what should be simple & easy. Errr. Yes, I have had some trouble w/ this myself this wkend.We have been to Surf City/ pier. How nice to have a place there! We do not have any reservations anywhere, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed we find something last minute.:-)

At 8:08am on June 13, 2011, MaggieP said…

Linda, what a tribute to Neal!  I love the idea of PJ bears with stories.  I can understand your oldest grandson having problems with the PJ bear.  How nice that you thought to tell him how lucky he was to have really known his POP.   You must be a very special person to find the energy to do these things for your grandchildren when you are so caught up in your own grief. I certainly understand the tears when it was over.  Holding yourself together for your sons and grandsons takes a lot of energy.  The release of all you held in during the day needed to happen.  It was probably very healthy for you to cry!  HUG

Things sure do change with the loss of our spouse.  Yesterday, I decided to put a glass shelf in the bathroom.  Not Simple for me!  I thought I had failed because it seemed the brackets were too close together for the glass.  I figured it out eventually, but it sure was frustrating!  We have to come home to an empty house, keep our stories to ourself (or write them here), eat alone, take trips alone.  I could go on and on, but you know what I am talking about.

 

At 7:52am on June 12, 2011, MaggieP said…
Linda, I am thinking of you today, and want to send you strength and courage to get through this day. Dave's birthday was in February, and I really dreaded it. I fixed one of his favorite dinners, put a fire in our fireplace, and had his favorite before diner drink. I rarely drink, and especially after he died. I was concerned abo
ut using alcohol aa crutch. The day was not a difficult, because I has the distraction of work. You are fortunate to have your sons close by even if they do worry about you! I have a son in Chicago going to school full time and working full time. My other son lives ib Las vegas, and just opened his own resturant. I know that both would move heaven and earth to get to me if I really needed them. They check in by phone and on face book. Courage and hugs!
At 9:26pm on June 11, 2011, Debbie Treadway said…
Linda, I think the bears will be such a special gift that they will always treasure. I released a balloon on Waymon's birthday and it gave me a good feeling watching it go up toward heaven where I know he is.  I will be thinking of you tomorrow and hope that you all have as good a day as possible. My prayers are with you.
At 11:31pm on June 10, 2011, Christy said…

I LOVE the idea of the bears & that you will be giving them away on  Neal's birthday makes it that much more special! I know we stress over what to do on special occassions, but I believe you have this one under control :-)

 I have been planning on making a quilt from Larry's clothes, but I am not ready for that yet. Larry was so proud of the baby quilt I made last year (my 1st) & he wanted me to make one for everyone in our family.

It takes me 4-5 hrs from my house in Covington to Mooresville/LKN. I am planning on coming theSat. before Fathers Day. I know you will be busy then , but maybe we can meet sometime before I head home. We are planning on going on to Wilmington for a few days.  

I'll be in touch, oh- share photos of the bear give away! 

Hugs~

At 8:18pm on June 9, 2011, Christy said…
Hello Linda, I agree this site is my saving grace many days. I have had a similar week. Things I thought were taken care of months ago have come back & caused problems. As you said with Neal, Larry's name is being removed from various accounts one at a time. My e-mail really upsets me because he set it up & when I log on it always says "Hello larry"; it's just as he typed it w/ the 'L' accidently not capitalized. It's a reminder to me that he typed it- not just me or someone else. He was always doing that. Everywhere he wanted an exclamation point there is a '1.' I guess he didn't hold down the shift key long enough :-) Now AT&T is causing trouble, changing things I don't want changed. I'm also upset because his family was so ugly to me about wanting to "handle his estate" but they have not taken care of any bills & the collectors are calling/harrassing me about it. I wish I could pick up our house & our wonderful neighbors & move them somehwere away from any & all trouble makers. Oh, wouldn't that be nice! Linda, I'm glad you have found a support grp. but Sept. is the distant future to those of us living 1 day at a time isn't it? I wish you well & hope to see you soon.
At 9:37pm on June 8, 2011, Deb said…
Linda, Thank you for your note.  It makes me happy to think of the many happy memories that Junior and I made together and with others!  Life for that period of time was so very good!  I miss him so very much even though it has been almost 2 years!  It was so hard to watch Junior go from such a strong, vital man to a little bitty guy -- he lost from 205 to 151 lbs. due to the cancer.  His heart of gold was always there, though, and he never let me forget that!!  Thank you again for your post.  Take care of yourself, and remember how much your mate loves you!! 
At 1:36pm on June 3, 2011, MaggieP said…
Linda, my philosophy about lists is they help you keep on track, and give you a sense of accomplishment. If they grow too big, they are overwhelming and make you feel like a failure. Glad you are trying small lists. Hugs back!
At 10:38am on June 3, 2011, Kathleen Franck said…
It's strange Linda that you don't really think your out look can change but it does. It shifts incrementally.
I have had all three of my adult children living here with me most of the last 2 years. Though all three have collage degrees the boys were out of work for over a year. The youngest still on the brink of a new job but not quite. Becca my Daughter bought a house in Jan. Nick the oldest moved out in April and Steven has hopes for a job in Seattle. This is acually the beginning of what life will be. I have felt like I have been treading water because I felt there was no way to move on. That may be why I feel so directionless. The challenge of grieving without privacy except in your own room was a tough one. I have felt like I have been constantly on guard so I escape to my room.
Hopefully I will make more head way. Not to say I am "over it" or less sad. I just need my own time to say good bye at each issue that comes up....without any one around.
I am feeling that there is a future...there has to be if there is life. I just don't know what that may be.
You just let yourself grieve as long as you need to. It changes whether you are aware of it or not. We must go on because I know that Wade and Neal would want us to.

I must go but I will think of you and keep you in my prayers that you have the strenth to see this through. Take care Kathleen
At 6:07pm on June 2, 2011, Kathleen Franck said…

Oh Linda, My heart breaks for you. I know where you are coming from. To see your strong loving husband shrink before your eyes. To be married for 40 years is amazing and what a example to your boys and everyone else around you. After reading your story its clear so many face these challenges/heartbreaks of coarse this site is a testimony to that.

Your words I too have spoken and I am still trying to figure it out after 2 years. (May 18th 2009) Who am I now?

My honey Wade had colon cancer but by the time they diagnosed it it had spread to his lungs and they were white with innumerable tumors. He struggled to breathe day after day and I'm sure you can relate. Wade also said to me that it wasn't fair to me. though he was the one in pain and struggling to live.

I took care of him and all three of our adult children lived with us those 10 months. It was a gift from God for all of us. To have that final time as a family.

 I was convinced that he would be OK. I couldn't face the thought of him leaving. That made it so much harder when he did go. Like you and Neal we met at a young age and married. (almost 30 years) We grew (and matured) together (and you become one person). There is no one in this world that knew me as well as Wade did and I know it had to have been the same for you with Neal.

None of us want to become the experts on how to get through grieving and really there is no formula for it we just have to cry when we need to....let off that pressure cooker of emotions once in a while. We need it and no one else can say if it is right or wrong. I refused to consider grief groups because they didn't lose a "Wade" I did. How could anyone understand? This site is unique because we are in the same ballpark....

To give you hope I don't cry as often as I used to. (though daily) It still hurts and I'm still wondering what I'm to do with this life, but I'm hanging in there  Prayers and hugs, Kathleen

 

At 8:04pm on June 1, 2011, Patricia Dupre said…

Hi Linda,

Thanks for e-mailing me.

I know what you mean when you say we have to act brave in front of ppl. And when they say your doing so good since David pass away.If they only knew I was dying inside.

Just the other night when I finished saying my prayers my bed went down and I was the only 1 in my bed,then I felt the presents of my husband put his arm around me until I fell asleep.It was so comforting.I know he is still here with me I fell his presents all the time.I thought I would be scared if he died in my house,well he did and it's a blessing cause I know he is here.

HUGS and GOD BLESS!

                Patricia Dupre

At 8:04pm on June 1, 2011, Patricia Dupre said…

Hi Linda,

Thanks for e-mailing me.

I know what you mean when you say we have to act brave in front of ppl. And when they say your doing so good since David pass away.If they only knew I was dying inside.

Just the other night when I finished saying my prayers my bed went down and I was the only 1 in my bed,then I felt the presents of my husband put his arm around me until I fell asleep.It was so comforting.I know he is still here with me I fell his presents all the time.I thought I would be scared if he died in my house,well he did and it's a blessing cause I know he is here.

HUGS and GOD BLESS!

                Patricia Dupre

At 12:47pm on June 1, 2011, Barbara Wasilewski said…

Linda,

It is a terrible thing to watch a husband die from cancer.

Tony also got dementia about 6 months before he passed.

It has been 1 & 1/2 years since I am alone and I can't believe that much time has gone by without him.

 Is there any way I could email you. I think we could help each get through

this loney time of our lives.

Barbara Wasilewski

At 7:48pm on May 28, 2011, Patricia Dupre said…

Sorry Linda I just sent you a message and forgot to tell you my name.My name is Patricia Dupre.I'm the 1 raising grandkids and a handycappied daughter.

 

 

My GOD BLESS YOU AND EVERYONE WHO IS GOING THREW THE SAMETHING!

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