I know.... we are no longer who we were and never will be again.   

Diane, Thank you for writing, I feel selfish because I get more out of being here then I could ever give, I think that we all are so fortunate to have found each other, its unfortunate that we even had to look, but a blessing that we are together. Thanks again.

Much Love

Tami

Diane, Thank you for writing, I feel selfish because I get more out of being here then I could ever give, I think that we all are so fortunate to have found each other, its unfortunate that we even had to look, but a blessing that we are together. Thanks again.

Much Love

Tami

Thanks for reading about him and for responding. There have been a lot of visits to his website since his death as word traveled across the US - 12 from Greensboro. I'm thankful he left this for us, and I know it was God's plan for him to post it for others. I hope things are better for you - this is worse than I even could imagine and I have tried to imagine how hard it would be.  

 

Cathy

Thanks so much, today seems to be a bad day.

I, too, started to feel very bad this afternoon. I realized this will never change, never get better, and I will never be happy again. And I will always walk around with a weight attached to my heart. I really don't want to spend years and years like this.
Hugs
JoAnn

Yes, I count those on this site among the friends I have.  Even though none of us have ever met in person, we are closer than most.

Thinking of you.

JoAnn

Blessedly I have two people who work with me who have been LIFESAVERS. One confided to me after the funeral that she had lost a daughter at age 11 in 1991.  I had known her 5 years and never knew that!  The other only has one child, as I did, and I think she can relate a small bit to what I go through.  But they both have been there in person, by phone, any way necessary.  When I'm crying, when I'm yelling, whatever.  They even make sure that we go out walking at lunchtime as often as possible because they know exercise is good and I just want to get up, go to work, come home and go to sleep.  Without them I honestly don't know what I would have done.  I have two sisters and they were very good in the beginning, but they do not live very close so it is not the same as Anne and Kathy from work. 

Thinking of you

JoAnn

It will be one year for me at the end of the month.  Feels like one hour, feels like a lifetime.  This isn't going to heal, this isn't going to get better, this isn't going to go away.  It took me 11 months to come to that realization. 

Thanks Diane.  I appreciate your comments.  Holidays were hard, but they are OVER...and I SURVIVED.  Hard days, lonely days, much denial...all behind me as we start a new year of holidays to endure.  The good news is I know I will survive....I have friends here on this site, and a family that loves me, and I am much luckier than many other people in the world, so I have to be thankful for that and move forward.  I was stuck during the holidays, but I am on the go again.

Thank you for your comment.  I really appreciate it.  I try to help if I can, and I am thankful for the help I receive when I am in need.  I tried to find what happened to your child, but for some reason did not have any luck.  Can you lead me to your loved one so that I may know the child you lost?

thanks for the invite. I try to post on the main page for all, but you can send me individual comments too. What is your first name? if you dont mind.

I am hoping to get past this holiday as soon as possible. its our third and I am having a harder time than the first two. I think the numbness wears off.

Just wanted to say whatever you and yours do, let it be peaceful. God bless us all.

missing our angel amy, 5/15/87-9/18/08

hi phils mamma wishing you a peaceful christmas. i know we will all have tears but they are normal with our stupid new normal I wish it would go away but unfortunately every morning i realize how it won't... I will try to have a good christmas.. I wish all our families peace. carrie L

Hi there, I just wanted to wish you a peaceful Christmas and let you know that you are in my thoughts. I wanted to escape this year and have a complete different environment so I had my husband take my away for the rest of the month. I couldn't bear to go thru the same Christmas traditions without Cameron being there too. XXOO

Thank you so much, your post meant a lot to me. Cameron was a "cut up", loved to make people laugh, thus the pink sunglasses!

Hi diane hope you are ok i am so sad also thinking of all of us poor souls our children..... love them... i was stupid i thought he was ok then that horrible phone call it still rings in my head and the thought of his accident plagues my soul resonating time and time again in my .. head... i needed more time with him to make up what i failed him.. i am so guilt ridden and sad and now my life is falling apart also... carrie L

Hi Phil's Mamama, I'm Lashonya - Tariq's mother.....I want to thank you for writing me, it helps to know that I am not alone in this journey. Tariq is my only child and when he passed away, so did I. I don't understand why this had to happen to me or any other mother or father. I still pray and i will still praise God although its hard now, because my life is so empty without my 14 yoa baby. He died of pneumonia and he had no symptoms.

i am not sure if time heals or not. its just a differrent type of grief. life will never ever be the same. my heart will always be filled with pain and sorrow. i believe that my life is forever trashed. hoping your ok. val

Hi Diane hope you are ok today. we are doing ok. what was your son like? My son was very talkative. I will miss that forever. He loved to talk. more than anything else in the last few years i think he was becoming a philosopher. He called my mom more than me. i moved some 11 hours away from them that now i regret with all my heart anything but this horrible existence without him to call .... or when i went in to go to outback or movies.. It is very very sad my heart hurts so much. Carrie L