I've never done this so I hope I'm doing it right I guess I'll start by saying that almost 5 months ago I lost my boyfriend of 18yrs to an abcess tooth and now I have to raise our son alone and he hasn't been listening to me he's been really hard to do deal with, I mean I can't even handle my own pain then to have to try and handle his attitude as well I don't know what to do. Can someone give me some suggestions please?
My life changed when I could no longer hear you walking throughout the house at 6:30 a.m., getting your orange juice from the kitchen or ice from the tray and putting it into your glass for water. You clicking the remote for the television and hearing you call my name, "Gloria, get up it's 6 a.m." My life changed when I could no longer hear you say, "Be careful" as I left to take my daughter to school or anywhere that I maybe going that day, the two words that we often take for granted.
My life changed when...I would come home and looked at your chair, and you weren't there. My life changed....when I could no longer smell your cooking or eat my favorite desserts, sweet potato and chess pies that you were known for cooking. I looked for you in the kitchen one of your favorite places, and you weren't there, the back porch, neither were you there. Wow! Where were you?
My last meal, words, prayer, conversation, laugh, but most of all the look into your eyes and knowing that you were saying, "I love you and I know you love me, but I don't know how to say to you that I must leave you soon".
And...Suddenly, it happened that weekend, that day and time came that you had to say good-bye to us all. Yes, I realize your presence of your spirit, scent, photos, memories is still with us, but most of all your wisdom hasn't and never will leave me.
I know that you live on when I talk with your oldest son, my brother, my sister, my children, but most of all is when I look into the mirror into my eyes and I see you, smiling back at me telling me, "Yes, I love you and always will. I have passed on the torch to you to carry on what we often talked about, love and support the family and staying connected to God, I'm happy, but most of all I'm proud of the woman that you have become."
Your anniversary will soon be here January 14th of one year that we celebrate the new birth of being with The Lord. I love you, miss you, and I can still here you in my ear all the time.
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Why is this site being listed as a danger to my copmutor by my virus protection programs? Who monitors the site for potential threats to an already grieving group? What and who can answer these concerns? Are we safe coming here for help finding some answers to our losses with-out losing our computors and media of understanding and support? Since it's been almost a year since the last posting on this board, I wonder if I'll get a reply.
April 9th 2000 Jeff Hipple left us by taking his life , MY only son and 15 years old . The illness depression is a killer . finding a way free of pain can be so confusing ....let's help those like him find a different way.
AROUND 7:20 PM ON MONDAY JULY 21, 2008 I LOST MY HUSBAND AND I STILL AM HAVING A HARD TIME GETTING THROUGH THIS...I 'VE GOTTEN WHERE I DRINK ALOT AFTER WORK AND ON MY DAYS OFF....I LISTEN TO ALOT OF THE MUSIC HE USE TO SING TO ME AND I CRY AND SOMETIMES WONDER WHY HE HAD TO GO.........
On august 10th, 2008 I lost my only son to a tragic hunting accident. He was 35. We expect our children to oulive us, to go further and to be happier than we were. Whatever the cause of an early death of a child NO parent can find it easy to handle. We search every where to find some peace of comfort, and so far I have not found it. Not through my family, my church family, or any friend. I read as much as I can just to tell myself that I am not going crazy. I read somewhere, that when you lose you spouse, you become a widow or widower, when you lose you parents you become an orphan, but when you loss your child there is not a name for it . It is just that bad! In life the beginning is scary, the end is sad, but the middle is what really counts, How true is that. I pray for each of us that God will hold our children in his Loving Arms, until we can be there to join them. God Bless each of you, and thank you too! Dianne Hardy
I lost my mother in 2003 and the pain is still with me. I know that in time or at least they say pain will go away but it doesn't.In the time since she has died the pain has eased some but it will never go away.I lost my best friend and it is at times unbearable.
my husband of 17 years kill his self because i left him he was 20 years older than me thats been 8 mos ago i still miss him and still cry when some one mentions his name i still put up a cross and baloons at the house where he died
HI,MY SON WAS KILLED BY A GUN ON OCT 7TH,2006 HE WAS ONLY 16 AT THE TIME,HIS BIRTHDAY THIS YEAR WAS HARD HE WOULD OF BEEN 18 ON SEPT 12TH,2008.HE WAS SHOT BY HIS FRIEND HIS FRIEND WAS 15,HE LOADED THE RIFLE AND HE TOOK THE BULLETS OUT AND HE DIDNT COUNT THEM ALL AND HE POINTED THE GUN AT MY SON AND PULLED THE TRIGER AND THAN MY SON LIVED FOR ALITTLE BIT GOT HIM TO THE HOSPITAL AND HE WAS GONE.THEY WOULDNT LET US SAY GOODBYE TO HIM BECAUSE HE WAS EVIDENTS,WE DIDNT GET TO SEE HIM TILL THEY BROUGHT HIM BACK FROM AN AUTOPSY.THE KID THAT SHOT HIM GOT 2,800 RESTITUTION,200 COMMUNITY SERVICE,PROBATION TILL HE WAS 19.AND HE IS 17 NOW.I FORGAVE HIM AND THE NURSES,AND I AM TRYING DEARLY TO FORGIVE THE DOCTOR THAT DIDNT SAVE HIS LIFE.I HAVE BEEN GOING TO CHURCH TO TRY AND FORGIVE EVERY ONE EVEN GOD,I BLAMED GOD FOR A LONG TIME TO,NOW MY FRIEND HAS ME GOING TO HER CHURCH AND I AM FEELING I AM FORGIVING GOD FOR TAKING MY SON SO YOUNG,AND I HAVENT HAD A CHANCE TO TALK TO THE DOCTOR BECAUSE HE HAS BEEN BUSY,WHEN HE SEES MY FAMILY ON THE STREET HE KEEPS SAYING SORRY,I THINK IF I HAD A CONVERSATION WITH HIM AND MAYBE HE WOULD STOP SAYING IT.BUT I MISS MY SON IT HAS BEEN ALMOST 2 YEARS, AND IT WOULD OF BEEN HIS SENIOR YEAR IN HIGH SCHOOL SO IT IS KINDA HARD.HIS FRIENDS ALL TALK TO ME AND STUFF AND IT RELIEVES SOME OF THE PAIN THAT I HAVE THAT KNOWING THEY HAVENT FORGOTTEN HIM.BUT MY PRAYERS ARE WITH ALL OF YOU THAT LOST SOMEONE.MY HEART GOES OUT TO YOU.
My brother was killed in a car accident in 1981. At that time there was not internet to find coping strategies and there were definitely few books that really helped. Through the years I have wanted to help others to cope with their loss of a sibling. Therefore, I have started to write an inspirational book that is a compilation of people's stories of how they coped with their loss, what happened, and if they were able to turn this tragedy into something positive, such as helping people who are going through the same tragedy, etc. I am looking for others to share their stories with me so I can help others and give them inspiration that as difficult as it is, life does go on and positive things can happen in your life. Please send your stories or inquiries to firstname.lastname@example.org so we can discuss your loss and how you can help me help others. Thank you for your support.
Just 4 weeks ago my dad passed away after a 6 week stay in the hospital. Although he had been diagnosed with alzheimers 3 years ago he was doing fairly well. Still able to drive and care for himself, although he could not tell you what he had for dinner. He lived at home with my mom. Home was just 3 doors away from me and my family. Needless to say we spent lots of time together. As his alzheimers progressed he needed me for more and more, and I was happy to be there for this man who worked hard his whole life to take care of me. He spent 25 years in the Navy and was a proud headstrong man who hated and even denied the idea that he had this terrible illness. But in me he found I think a feeling of safety and comfort, the way I used to feel when he was there with me as a child. On July 29 I convinced him to go to the hospital because he was suddenly feeling so week and tired. Little did I know what lay ahead for us. It turned out that he had a lung condition called pulminary fibrosis. Never before had he had lung problems. My mom and I were there every day for 6 weeks. He had some days that were better than others, but the bad days were indiscribable. When he was alert enough to talk to us he would ask me "why am I here" and "how did I get so sick". I really don,t think dying ever entered his mind. He just wanted to know what the plan was and how we could fix him and get him home . Every day he asked I would tell him he had a problem with his lungs and that I was talking with the doctors every day to try to figure out what to do to get him home. You see the doctors never were able to tell us for certain weather he might recover enough to leave the hospital. I feel such guilt for not being able to "fix" him. He had so much trust in me and I couldn't do this for him. The man who gave me everything, and I let him down.
I cry every day and I don't see this ending any time soon. I have never lost anyone I loved before and this pain is almost unbarable. My only comfort is knowing or hoping that with each passing day I am one step closer to once again holding his hand.
Last Sept my ex-husband & father of my boys killed himself & I blame myself. I wish the 10 yrs we were together that I was a better wife to him then maybe he would still be here. He went through real bad depression his last year on earth due to things that happened to him when he was a child. I begged him to get help & he tried but it made his sadness worse. For a year he kept saying that he was going to end his life that he could not see it getting better. I would yell at him & tell him to snap out of it, I had no idea he was so dark. He was missing for almost 2 days when they found his body hanging from a tree. How could he do that, how could he just leave his 2 little boys, didn't he love them more then this. I am so confused & hurt & miss him so much. I will always be in love with him & want him back everyday.
On the morning of July 15 2008, I lost my fiancé of a Brain Aneurysm he was only 48 years old.. On that day, my world collapsed. I still have not come to terms with my loss. I am trying my hardest to deal with it but I don't know how I want to keep the home just the way he left it and I don't want to take off my ring I know or at least people say I need to move on but I am not ready Kevin is my only family I lost my dad 11 years ago but the pain is nothing like this my mom is still alive but we don't get along I call Kevin's cell phone just to hear his voice I try to keep my head together but it was so hard I was NOT prepared for Kevin dying Kevin death was unexpected, we did not even know he had Brain Aneurysm . He was only 48 years old, I used to fly off the handle and get upset about trivial things. You know like if the house was not clean etc. But now I feel that life is too short, and you just don't know if you are saying good night for the last time. Who cares what the house looks like now. I thought I was going to grow old that we were going to have a family he is my family nothing makes sense to me any more it is like what did I do so wrong that God had to turn my daughter and my life up side down I try to explain to my daughter that her step daddy is ok in heaven, but all I do is cry . She can not understand why I am crying if heaven beautiful & wonderful, yet I am so sad. All I tell her is that I miss Kevin and the family that we were I am scared that my life will never be better I know I will never have a man that loves me and my daughter like Kevin does I try to hold on to things like for a week this bird kept coming to my window every morning I would wake up and that bird was there I tried to believe that it was Kevin coming to me and telling me that things will get better but I really don't think I believe it I what to believe it just like I want to believe that one day when I go to heaven that I will be with him again but I don't know if that really is true either the one thing I do know is I am so unhappy and I miss Kevin more then words can even say I really am trying to be strong for my daughter but I really don't know how long I can keep this up
At 8:38pm on July 5th, 2008, Daisy M said…
FIRST OF ALL LEGACY FRIENDS, I AM THE SAME DAISY, HOWEVER I FORGOT INFORMATION THAT WOULD ALLOW ME TO GET INTO THE OTHER ACCOUNT AND UNFORTUNATELY WAS UNABALE TO COMMUNICATE WHEN I WAS LEFT A RESPONSE.... SO MY STORY REMAINS THE SAME....
On 4-11-2003 I had the worst day of my life, yes I had seen many deaths old, young, cousins, aunts, uncles and friends. But not the closet and I never dreamed it could be possible.... My 18 year old brother was violently killed. His life was ended by the hands of another.... and no one to pay for it. My family was shaken before that but it nearly rumbled when he died. I did not think the pain I felt was a part of human kind.... yes I seen death plenty times before... but it never hit home like this. See I partially raised my brother... it goes like this. I had a child at an early age and my mother was pregnant as well (yes I hid mine until there was no more hiding) anyways she raised us all. So my brother was six months older than my son. So when I became an adult the tables were turned and for family reason I was left to raise the kids including my son... So my brother was like my child. Before he died I had a dream, the dream consisted of four men being blown up in a car accident (my four brothers) one died and the others survived... The very next day my brother was killed. I dont believe in dreams but this dream was revealing. I could not see who died in the dream but it sure became a reality the next day and I was clearly able to see..... My mother it was so hard to see the pain she went through... I often go to the cemetary to just chat its a way of coping for me.... I sometimes just wonder why even though I know that our destine is set by the Lord... its still so hard to understand this thing called death... How could a person hurt so bad... I tried to put in my mind that my brother moved away and we just dont get to see one another as much as we like (see its true with some families) but then I start to realize that the not so often visits are really NEVER that is until we meet after death. Its the hardest thing to deal with and still be a good person, life for me is hard as i try not to be sarcastic to people who take lives.... I find myself being so cruel towards a person who commits a crime.of MURDER... they are not just killing a person they are killing a family. My life consists of daydreaming, hopes that I know will not be, unexpectant cries.... I will be in my office typing and it seems as my brother will come across my mind for no reason and I am in tears.... I cant tell my co-workers for they may feel i should be over it by now after all its been five years.... five years only made me realize there is no time limit to healing nor forgetting... I loved my brother so much and would have in a instant gave my life for him.... he was a baby.... In my kids i see images of him, I know its a part of me that wont let go.... I say to my mother dont be afraid to talk about him, keep him alive but then i go home and weep like a baby..... I know that GOD places on us no more than we can handle and I understand this well.... I tell you I sometimes feel that the statement has got the best of me, wont lie felt like ending it all but I know I would cause the same pain that those MURDERS cause me and the family to cope with after the ruthless acts they pulled... and because I loved the family so and realize it is not the way to go... I just take one day at a time, and hope for a better day each night I close my eyes to sleep Delete Comment
I lost my mother-in-law who I was very close to on May 18, 1997, my dad on January 1, 2000, my brother May 15, 2006 and my dear friend just recently June 8, 2008. I never really got the opportunity to say good-bye to any of them. It took me such a long time to come to terms with that. But several years later, I'm able to cope. I realize that when my loved ones were here, they knew I loved them and I knew they loved me. I can remember the good times we had together, my father loved to dance and wherever he was there was cheer. My mother-in-law loved to travel and we spent quite a lot of time together traveling. My brother allowed me to spend time with him discussing the Bible. That brought joy to my life and his, and brought us closer together. My dear friend amd I could talk and talk.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that our loved will live on in our memories of them. We can still laugh with them and cry with them in our memories. I am a better person for having been blessed with them in my life. When I find myself really missing them, just wanting to hear their voice, I try to think of something funny they said or did. It generally helps. I also pray quite a bit and that helps the most. I also find just talking about them, like now, is really a relief. so I hope to write again. You will be in my prayers and thoughts.