Yes Theresa it was a very uplifting day today meeting with Tami. Here in CA our weather has been unbelieveably warm 75-85 in the day. It was one of those very sunny days, we even got to sit outside and visit. My husbands health issues brought me to her hometown. He had two appts today that I went to with him and I had 2 hrs between them so that is how I contacted Tami and arranged for us to meet today. I hope that possibly we can plan something for next year and bring many Mom's together to share this "meeting" feeling.
I love your little poem for the night. That is what we all wish for all the time, our children and loved ones come to us in dreams.
Hi Theresa, yes I have support but they are dealing with my son's death better than I. Everyone grieves so differently mine is more open where my husband is more stoic and doesnt show his emotions very much so that is hard for me. Yes Bobby is on the right kissing his dad... I will get a better picture up there he really was a great looking kid.
I know everyone thinks when they mention your childs name it brings you pain and makes you cry, what they don't realize is that it hurts more when they don't talk about him at all. You are gonna cry either way.
Thank you for checking in on me, I am feeling a little better this week. How are you doing? Hope you have a better week this week than last week...huggs my friend...
Hi Theresa.. They came on Friday and after running to the mailbox everyday before my husband he ended up with the package first. I didn't want him to look at them and he didnt tell me they arrived until Sunday.. I asked is there something you are hiding from me?? he said yes it came.. Iknew what he meant right away and i asked him if he lookded and he said he did . He asked if I was going to be ok with it of course I lied and said yes.. He sat with me and held my hand while I looked at them.. I really wanted to be alone because I knew if i cried out in any way he would shut them off so i was just so quiet. They were not as bad as I thought only one picture makes my husband upset ...but the car was so damaged and Bobby was hurt so badly. I am glad I did it because now I know he didnt suffer the injuries were too awful.
Good luck to you this week I will be thinking of you when your items. When I got the things from Bobby's car I held on tight and cried my eyes out but I am glad that I have them....huggs to you...
Theresa totally understand what you are saying. I also have 2 more kids 29 & 31 who were just amazing through the whole thing. the morning of the funeral i called my daughter hysterical because I ddint' know what to wear? She came right over picked out my clothes and physcially dressed me. My other son is a family counselour who was so calm and sweet with me but I worry about them both because they loved thier big brother so much. These kids were so tight growing up which I am grateful for they truly did still talk to one another everyday on the phone even though they were in different states and miles between them I was so blessed with them all. Bobby wanted to be creamated and 16 days after he passed was his birthday I had no where to go to be with him. I tried going to church but it was locked so I just sat and screamed in the parking lot...who the hell locks a church at 2 in the afternoon on a weekday? I am struggling with the grave part even though Bobby is on my mantle at home it doesnt seem the same. I want a place to go where I can lay flowers and talk to him...I do talk to him here at home but it doesnt give me comfort and the tree that he died at is almost 2 hours away from here.
I am getting nervous today I suspect the packet will arrive today when I am at work and my husband might interceded it and not let me see it...
ok now I am rambling...seems like I can't put one thought together and stay with it these days...ugh!!
Wish I could give you any kind of comfort on your loss but knowing as I do there really isnt any to be had.....Huggs to you ....Forever Bobby's mom ...Deb
Hi Terry reading you comment right now on this Sat. June 11th. I see we both did the same, we are going through these step stones which lead us to a different place because we do not want to stay forever in the same spot of desperation and we want to grow within. By now I realize i am a different person, my senses are alive in a new way. Yes, we will keep in touch, we will change our experiences because we are on the same road. Stay well. Hugs.
Hi, Terry, i am deeply sorry for your pain because the loss of your son Charles, for your sadness and all your tears. There is a long time i do not post anything. As i opened LC website today the first comment I saw on Suicide Survivors was yours. In my heart and in my thoughts i am close to you - i have been going through your same experience. I was blessed though for having found help, for having walked a long way since the time it happened two years ago until i got this place where i am today - there is peace in here. With all my heart, Terry, i hope you too, will find a special path which will lead you to find calm and peace. If you search and you will find it. Instead of the desperation i had before now i am able to thank God for the joy my son brought with him when he came to us. My prayer-thoughts are with you. Hugs and love. amaryllis
I feel your pain but all I can say is don't get mad at God, my son had issues and when he married a women with three children I felt he was taking on more then he could handle but Andy was 30 and old enough to make his own decisions but I fell he had to much on his plate and he shot himself in the chest Dec. 10, 2010 but I will not blame God. God is a good God and would never hurt us intentially just pray for peace that's what I do daily sure it hurts but don't blame God.
Yes I did, in fact I just let it flow as I was going to comment that day, some years ago I wrote songs and played in a small band. Sometimes I just write what I feel on a napkin, this time it just came out here, glad you enjoyed it, I felt better as I read it too!
Terry, I read what you had to day about your son.... there are lots of parents here who understand what you are feeling. Please know you are not alone. I often suspected my own son had some mental issues he was not sharing with us that caused him to do some of the things he did. We will not know exactly until the day we see them again. So sorry for your loss... prayers for your peace.