Jennifer C.'s Comments

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At 10:24pm on July 5, 2011, Linda R. Thrasher-Rocker said…

community in such a way...I shall do the same with my Mom's clothing and some household items- keeping a few things out of both for sentiment reasons...so happy to learn that one of the Church;s made an impression ( and brownies are plus:) keep me posted please and also know that you are in my prayers and I am sending you good vibes...the kittens are doing great...Roux has sight in one eye, but Gumbo does not, but her eyes are back under the lids now ( I can not recall if I mention this or not- guess the book nows what it was talking about) so she will not have to have them removed- she is blind but gets around great ...hope work keeps you busy,but not stressed...huge hugs, Linda  

 

oh' and I bet it was difficult to view all the smoke stained walls...

At 10:17pm on July 5, 2011, Linda R. Thrasher-Rocker said…

hi Jennifer,   scrapes of paper with their writting on it- yes, I TOTALLY understand...since we have been working on getting the rental place in order- I haven't been focusing on my Mom's home as much...but when I came across something I save it to think about later when I will have to go through everything oneday...with my dadwhen I came across something there was no question- I'm keeping it. because I lost so much of his things and mine from childhood from hurricane Katrina- a friend of mine will say what are you going to do with a lamp from the 70's that doesn;t work and I'm like it was my Dad's, it was part of my life when both my parents were alive and I know no worries about life....I probably have hoarding issues or deep pyschological one's -lol...but, I just can not bear to part...another thing is I have two sliver bracelets I wear and when I type they hit the keyboard, my Mom's medical alert braclet would do the same and now when I hear it I just think she should be there, yet I know it's me and that she isn't...sigh... our Pastor dropped off a book to me today (the second in a series on grieving)...this one talks about the physical aspects- how after a while (say a few months) the shock wears off and it sinks in that , that person is not coming back and you are tired all over again - I think I have been there for a few weeks now...and that you also will have periods of forgettfullness ( wow, I totally screwed that words up- sorry)...and yes, loss of words...commuination skills sometimes out of the window...however,I too sometimes  make up a responce on the spot...just to statisfy and /or end the question/converstaion...UFF DA!   I know my father would have loved for me to have donated his things ( as I would have had they not become to moldly and loated after the hurricane) as he often donated things to the vets or homeless...go woth your gut- you are part of your Dad- I think he would be happy and proud that you all choose to contribute

At 11:11pm on June 26, 2011, Linda R. Thrasher-Rocker said…

you will know for they are different from other types of dreams- they do not last long and /or your Dad will probably not say much but it will be very meaningful and it will be very real...

 

hugs to you my friend, Linda:)

At 11:09pm on June 26, 2011, Linda R. Thrasher-Rocker said…

greetings Jennifer...here's hoping you had a productive or perhaps a relaxing weekend all to yourself..we of course worked on the rental...my freind came over to help clean, pack, store and sort things - she is good about letting go of things I on the other hand- am not, esp. with Mom and Dad memories attached to them- so needless to say not much was put into the donate boxes- but all in all we got a lot done...I don't know if I mentioned to that I am caring for two blind kittens (well one is partly blind) I named them Roux and Gumbo...southern dishes...my husband Rocky and  I decided to adopt them as they would be put to sleep (can not spell the other word at this moment- that expression always sounds so odd to me- put to sleep- candy-coated ) at the shelter (animal control) they are so wonderful, they get around wonderfully...they are finally off bottle feedinf so I do not have to set my alarm for every 3 hours to feed- yet as I did after Guy Henry could sleep thru the night my body and brian still awaken...

 

I am trying to remember what you all you wrote in your last letter- I wish there was a way to view it as I reply...once again I fell asleep before commenting back to you...

 

I am glad I married late in life...my Mom did the same - finished nursing school= got established before she even thought about it- which was not the norm back then but was probably on the verg of it- women were becoming more empowered...I did however worry sometimes that I would not find a partner...not so much I had to be married-although I wanted to be...but I didn't have to have that to feel complete- hope that made sense...

 

I have dreams about both paretns from time to time- mostly they say they are here to visit jsut for a moment- I love those dreams- and other times they are just kinda there and the dreams sorta relate to what has happened or somthing in the past...I pray you have one where your Dad comes to visit

At 9:58pm on June 23, 2011, Linda R. Thrasher-Rocker said…

Hi there Jennifer, Sorry it has taking me so long to reply back to you- as I have been falling asleep while I put my son (3yrs) to bed...my husband and I have been working every afternoon after he gets home from work on the rental place- we have a tenant lined up for July- hate to have to open our yard up to others but we need a little extra (as my Moms socail security helped pay for some bills)  hopfully once I get back to work (when ever that is- most liekly once my son- Guy Henry gets established in pre-K)...I have been receiving a card each week from some member of the Church letting me know that they miss us and are praying for us...very low-key as Lutherans are- except one lady thought I was angry with God ,,, which you know as much as I miss my Mom I feel she had a full life...could have been longer but her health was not the best...so no I have never felt anger just confussed and sorrow...I do worry from time to time about the safety of my husband and son- as if something were to happen to them- I think then I would fall apart..

.

I may have mention to you before that I married late in life (at 37) first and probably only child (at 38)...I had offers to marry but nothing felt right and then I just got so busy working (Director of Lutheran Preschool ) and taking care of my Mom that I didn't even think about it- we had a super simple  private wedding and a very big and fun reception/party...keep me posted on your plans...I would love to send you a little congrats gift (maybe some local goodies too)..

 

.I am also tired bacause I have been taking care of two blind kittens who now both have little colds so I am up every few hours to feed and put the humidifer on to help them...

 

well my freind heres hoping all is well with you...? your co-workers sound wonderful and I am sure you are finally back in the groove- although thinkgs are not yet normal...love the 80's t-shirts you must have found:)Linda

At 11:00pm on June 15, 2011, Linda R. Thrasher-Rocker said…

So good to hear back from you...you know that saying "it is what it is" , well, I think I am living it...(we have a magnet that says that on the fridge- but now it makes so much more sense)...as I may have mentioned it's fianlly feeling real that she is gone...I guess since things have settled down in the lines of the paper work department (still have not found that darn car title and shall just let it find me at this point)...the house yet another thing...so much stuff...and not even more things to sort thru as we are soon to be renting out the back half (which was construsted as a one-bedroom rental, but we have been using as a storage area)...so i am keeping up with three homes- it's a good thing they are are side by side....

 

I was wondering how work was/went for you...we have yet to get ourselves back in the habit of going to Church- at first it was to soon, then I was fearful of the emotions and everyone coming up to me- and yes, re-living it again...now we are just so tired from working on things...I know we will get back into the swing of things very soon...I hope like you experienced that most folks know what to say and what not to say...pictures are difficult, yet I know whne I come across one I must take it all in...warm tears and all...I am sending you endurance with the afairs of the estate and all the ect that you expressed...your a trooper:)

 and don;t let the turkeys get you down...

 

any more plans for your wedding? 

 

oh' and I also know what you mean (and have heard it from many others) ...some days you are just trucking away (it's in the back of your mind and all) and then it just hits you..."my Mom/Dad is in Heaven"  

At 10:51pm on June 14, 2011, Linda R. Thrasher-Rocker said…
Hi there Jennifer...just checking in with you...I'm guessing you are back at work...are things starting to settle for you?  I am finally feeling like my Mom's death is real...(if that makes sence)...with Father's Day coming up I will be sending extra prayers your way...hugs, Linda:)
At 11:19pm on May 23, 2011, Linda R. Thrasher-Rocker said…
what a great photo gallery...I'm inspired to add more to my Mom's...
At 11:12pm on May 23, 2011, Linda R. Thrasher-Rocker said…
please excuse all mistakes...as I am typing once again with a cat on my arm and three bandaged fingers- long story- but lets just say it involves trying to do handman work - thanks for listening...
At 10:50pm on May 23, 2011, Linda R. Thrasher-Rocker said…

I don;t think you got that other entry...as the little comment about you choosing to review your letters did not come up---bad Mewski...well...it was so long- oh' if he could type his lttle paws would be working...basically it mentioned how my dad and yours enjoyed and gave to the same charities...my Dad was a salior (Coast Gaurd, Merchant Marines, Air Force-ship duty) and then an engineer...I am going to toss half his ashes in a sea salt urn off of the Prt of Orleans (born and raised in New Olreans- French Quarter area) when I feel up to it (it's been six years) and we will bring half my Mom's ashes to Iowa to be burried next to her parents...

 

and I don't remember now what else (thanks kitty- who is now purring next to me and looking so sweet I have completely forgiving him)so ...I shall write you again tomorrow...oh' and I plan on checking out your Dad's site- thank you for sharing the address with me...

 

hugs, Linda:)

At 10:44pm on May 23, 2011, Linda R. Thrasher-Rocker said…

uff da...I was in the middle of writting you back when my cat -Mewski decides to jump on the bed and right on the the lap top- I have no idea if you got it or night- as I do not even know where it went to...so please let me know it was rather lengthy...anyhoo...I shall just pretnd that you got it and continue from where I left off...

 

what a blessing it is to have such an understanding boss and great group of co-workers and to be able to work from home,,,I recall taking a week off with my Dad- I  wanted to take off longer but it was the end of the school year and I didn;t have a designee that was able to take on the responsibilities invloved...with my Mom - I am so thankful to have my son who keepes me busy so my mind doesn't think to much...

 

your town sounds lovly...I like small towns...Hammond is a college town but very cute- in places Gilmore Girl cute...and I have been Lutheran all my life- my Dad was Catholic ( my husband is too) and I too find that I graviate toward the Church and seek words from my Pastor often...I am ashamed to say that I have been to service thou since she passed- as I am fearful of all the emotions I will feel - we always went together and the last time I was there was for her Memorial service...time will tell and I have been praying for strength...

 

well. my friend I am so tired...I have more I want to type but my eyes are not working with me...here's hoping you are adjusting to this new life without your Dad...as I too am learning to accept life without both my parents...

 

one of the expressions down here is..."keep on, keeping on..."

 

peace always, Linda:)

At 10:25pm on May 23, 2011, Linda R. Thrasher-Rocker said…

Greeting Jennifer...your Dad and my Dad must be sharing stories up there in Heaven for they were involved in my of the same charities...my Dad was a salior (Coast Gaurd, Merchant Marines and Air Force) and then became an engineer after he married...he was cremated at the same place as my Mom (in fact I signed the checks on the same date- six years apart- I may have mentioned that already but my mind is sometimes in a fog) and they did not offer the online guestbook then...I plan on checking your Dad's page at that e-address you provided- thank you for sharring that with me...eventually I will be tossing half of my Dad's ashes in the Gulf of Mexico or I will put half in a sea salt urn (bio degradable) and toss it from the port he would sail out of in New Orleans -where he was born and raised...half of my Mom's will go back up to Iowa and be placed in a grave next to her parents...I plan on being cremated too when my time comes...

 

on a seperate note I am sorry to learn of the unhappy visit with your brother...often I have heard from others in our situations of things getting ugly after a death- I pray that all will be peacefull with your brother soon...

 

At 10:25pm on May 23, 2011, Linda R. Thrasher-Rocker said…

Greeting Jennifer...your Dad and my Dad must be sharing stories up there in Heaven for they were involved in my of the same charities...my Dad was a salior (Coast Gaurd, Merchant Marines and Air Force) and then became an engineer after he married...he was cremated at the same place as my Mom (in fact I signed the checks on the same date- six years apart- I may have mentioned that already but my mind is sometimes in a fog) and they did not offer the online guestbook then...I plan on checking your Dad's page at that e-address you provided- thank you for sharring that with me...eventually I will be tossing half of my Dad's ashes in the Gulf of Mexico or I will put half in a sea salt urn (bio degradable) and toss it from the port he would sail out of in New Orleans -where he was born and raised...half of my Mom's will go back up to Iowa and be placed in a grave next to her parents...I plan on being cremated too when my time comes...

 

on a seperate note I am sorry to learn of the unhappy visit with your brother...often I have heard from others in our situations of things getting ugly after a death- I pray that all will be peacefull with your brother soon...

 

At 10:35pm on May 18, 2011, Linda R. Thrasher-Rocker said…
did you egt my reply/letter/post from last night?  I exceded the limit so I am uncertain as to what may have happened and did not see it on you page...here's hoping all is going as well as expected and please know I am wishing you well:)me too:)
At 11:29pm on May 17, 2011, Linda R. Thrasher-Rocker said…

Hi there Jennifer...so glad you added a photo- you and your Dad?  I invite you to go to bagnellfuneralhome.com and you may view my Mom's if you wish- Karen Thrasher...I put an obit in our local paper and in two Iowa papers...did the funeral home offer an online service- mine was included...

 

I have yet to get out all thank you cards - a put a in general thank you in the Church newletter which held her Memorial Service and thank many for bringing food and helping my prepare and called many of my relatives...in lieu of flowers were to charities my Mom was fond of so I still have many a card to send...she raised $350 for missions , $200 for St. Paul Lutheran Church...$200 for the no-kill animal shelter...and even had a cow donated to a family in a rural country in her honor...for my Dad it was a t the VFW and I just had people come and eat, drink and be merry and they did- he didn;t want people spending money so I didn't do in liue of anything...  did you do anything of that nature?

 

Congratulations on your engagement...and I would imagine that preapre for such would be put on hold until you get your mind and everything else in some sort of order,what a trooper of a guy you have...my husband is my best friend (next to my Mom) and it really brings two poeple closier together,you know that you all will be able to handle the good and the bad and the happy and the sad of life and all the little things in between-I married late in life ( was engaged twice, but changed my mind) so at 37 was married, at 38 had my first and  to care for special needs children and was a Director of a preschool.

 

sending us endurance to meet the tasks at hand and a cherry outlook on the future as we learn to live without someone so dear to our hearts...my Dad always said "don't let the turkeys get you down" and my Mom would say..."chin up and it's going to be okay"

 

kitty cat love always...your friend down south, Linda:)

 

At 10:30pm on May 16, 2011, Linda R. Thrasher-Rocker said…
Hey there Jennifer...and yes...I have 5 cats...Mewski and Lill Mew always helped me type on the computer...my 3 yr old son would too but I usually wait till he is asleep before going online...I have to say that this site has really been helpful in regards to being able to release some emotions...ever time I talk and/or write about it I feel a bit better- sometimes I cry and sometimes just in a numb state , but mostly I feel healing taking place...when a loved oe dies you feel so alone, like on one else is experienceing this pain,,,but as we know -we all do...praying we get past the hurt soon and onto just being happy they are in Heavven - I just know we are always gonna miss them...my Mom's family was from Iowa and I have been to Twin Lakes , WI for a few summer vacations with a guy I almost married way back when...and my good friend is from there as well (can not recall what part)...do you have children? 

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