Nancy McKinney's Comments

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At 1:23pm on April 3, 2012, Terri - Autumn's Mom said…

You're welcome Nancy.  I know today is especially hard.

I feel a kinship with you, I also have three boys.  Autumn was my only girl and our oldest.

Hugs to you!!

At 11:32am on April 3, 2012, Terri - Autumn's Mom said…

Just wanted you to know I'm thinking of you and have my candle lit for April.

At 3:28pm on April 2, 2012, Terri - Autumn's Mom said…

Nancy,

I will light a candle for your sweet baby girl tomorrow. 

Autumn's birthday was March 26, the second one since losing her also.  I agree with you, it's gotten harder.

Just know all of us are with you in spirit and are sending hugs.

Terri

At 10:06am on January 30, 2012, Terri - Autumn's Mom said…

Hi Nancy,

I haven't seen you on here forever and was just wondering how you were doing?

I don't always comment, but I do check in frequently.

I hope you're doing okay and you've been able to have some "good days".

Hugs.

At 12:48pm on May 13, 2011, valerie moore said…

dear nancy,  my prayers are with you today.  just know here that our hearts and love go out to you not just today, but every day, as we have this journey we must travel on. your beautiful daughter is watching over her mommy,daddy and her brothers.  many hugs and love to you and your family.   valerie

At 12:48pm on May 13, 2011, valerie moore said…

dear nancy,  my prayers are with you today.  just know here that our hearts and love go out to you not just today, but every day, as we have this journey we must travel on. your beautiful daughter is watching over her mommy,daddy and her brothers.  many hugs and love to you and your family.   valerie

At 11:11am on April 7, 2011, valerie moore said…
wow, nancy,  i too believe that is april.  i have had 3 dreams where dusty is in the dream telling me how much he loves me...they were clear, vivid, dreams.  i felt so blessed...  hugs,  val
At 11:03am on April 7, 2011, valerie moore said…
nancy, thanks for sharing the beautiful photos.   your daughter is a beautiful girl that has an amazing mom.   val
At 11:13am on March 30, 2011, Linda said…
It does kinda leave you with that feeling that you did give your child, no matter what age, Jennie turned 33 and still loved Pooh, something for their birthday.  Hard to explain that feeling.....hugs...Linda, Jennifer's mom
At 5:57pm on March 29, 2011, Linda said…
Nancy, that is what I have done on my daughter, Jennifer's birthday. This year was the 3rd one without her. She loved Winnie the Pooh (even had a tattoo of him on the inside of her wrist, as mom, I didn't like it at first), so I would find the biggest birthday Winnie the Pooh balloon and a blue one and a yellow one that said Happy Birthday on them, we both liked the color blue and she loved sunflowers. I just did this for the third time last Friday, the 25th. I have gone to places I know she has been and loved and let them go, then stand and watch until I can't see them anymore. My sister went with me this year and she had gotten her own Winnie the Pooh balloons, when they disappeared suddenly my sister had asked where did they go. I told her Jennie grabbed them. She was in awe.  It is something I will do on every birthday because it makes me feel like I am still giving her something. I do rather do it by myself but really didn't have that option this time with my sister.  I know it was good for her, but it is something I just feel is between Jennie and me.  Sounds stupid or crazy but that is how I feel.  I hope you enjoy releasing your balloons to your precious daughter.....she will get them.  Many hugs to you....Linda, Jennifer's Mom
At 4:44pm on March 17, 2011, Janet - Todd's Mom said…
Nancy,  From what I can see from reading this website, most fathers seem to react to the death of their child very differently from the way we moms do.  Sometimes I think my husband is "getting over it", and I know I never will.  But there are times when I mention something Todd did or said that was especially kind, intelligent, insightful or funny, he will sort of breathe in sharply and say softly, "Oh Todd, Todd, Todd", and I know he is hurting very much too.  I feel he is afraid he'll fall apart completely if he voices his pain to me.  The other thing is that he always wants to "fix it" and he can't fix this.  No one can.  I think most men aren't in touch with their feelings the same way that women are, and some men don't think they should ever be seen crying.  This doesn't seem to be true of younger men, thankfully.  Hugs to you today, Janet
At 1:43pm on March 4, 2011, valerie moore said…
nancy, your baby girl is so beautiful.  i am so sorry to hear that you have lost your aunt.  sometimes, there are no right words to share, except that we are all here for each other and i find that very comforting. my prayers are with you and your family.  we all love you and will continue to pray for you.  sending hugs and prayers to you and your family.   hugs, valerie
At 12:31pm on March 4, 2011, shannon churchill said…

God bless you today Nancy.   I too am missing my son badly.   She is such a beautiful girl..  Please know there are no better hands to care for her than God our father.  Have you read the book the Shack..  It really gave me comfort a couple of weeks after my son passed.    My thoughts and prayers are with you.

At 1:34pm on February 23, 2011, Laura Smith said…
Sometimes the people who don't tell us the truth about the death of our children are the ones we come to appreciate the most. The original phone call from the police and the first response from the emergency room doctor told me that he was in an auto accident. Had I known the truth about the accident at that time I don't know that the boy who killed my son would still be alive today. It was almost 3 months before I was told the truth by the Chief of Police and accident investigators. Some days I wish I was never told.
At 7:24am on February 23, 2011, Janet - Todd's Mom said…
Nancy,  I read your comments on organ donation and just wanted to say that my son Todd was planning to be an organ donor...it was stated on his driver's license.  When he was in the hospital with pneumonia and acute respiratory distress syndrome, all of his organs began to fail until he passed away 5 days later.  Just recently I thought about this and was crying because he didn't even get to donate his organs, as he had wished, because of organ failure. It would have made me feel better to know that someone had lived because of him.  He would have wanted that.
At 7:46pm on February 11, 2011, Janet - Todd's Mom said…
Nancy,  Don't let anyone tell you that you have to decide what you want to do with your daughter's things.  My son Todd has been gone 20 months on the 8th of Feb. and I still have most of his things.  When I go into his room, sometimes I'll put something away for him on one of his shelves (DVD's, etc.) or hang up his clothes.  A few of his special shirts were given to his very close friends, and some PG rated DVDs, like "Cars" were given to his God sons, and some Anime DVD's to the Aspergers Association of New England Anime Club. Todd was mildly autistic but very high functioning, so he wasn't diagnosed till he was 28 yrs. old.  Other collections of DVDs were given to his closest friends.  Also many science fiction books.  I feel good about these things because I still have so much here that I will never part with.  Todd's room will always be Todd's room, but my husband will work at his desk on computer projects, like making a memory book of Todd online, and upgrading our computer system, which Todd set up so beautifully years ago.  We don't know how to keep up with the newer technology like Todd did, so my husband will try to learn, with Todd's help, he hopes.  What I mean is that when my husband suddenly figures out how to do something, he'll say, "I know Todd helped me with that".  We all feel the way you do.  Take all the time you need with your daughter's belongings.  I know for me that I could never give away his most precious belongings.  Love and hugs, Janet
At 6:21pm on February 11, 2011, valerie moore said…

dear nancy,  dont rush yourself regarding moving your daughters belongings.  i lost my only child, dusty 1 yr and 5 mos ago.  i still have a box of his things, right next to my bed.  i have his urn on my nightstand.  a therapist told me it was time to put his urn in a closet;  needless to say, that was my last visit with her. i may never move his things,  but if i do, it will be on my terms and my time.  take care, your daughter is beautiful.

 

always here for you,   valerie

At 2:44pm on February 2, 2011, valerie moore said…
nancy, i lost my only child, my precious son 1 yr 5 months ago, it seems like yesterday. i struggled with him for years with his drug abuse. all those years were spent doing everything i could for him, nothing work. the drugs had a true grip on him. i felt helpless. i watched him kill himself. as he ended up overdosing.. we had conversations all the time about what he was doing and i told him if he overdosed, what it would do to me. nonetheless, he ended up overdosing, and my life has been hell since. i have had very little support. i feel alone, sad most of the time. i dont have friends except for a few aquantances at work. i have been told my numerous people that havent lost a child, that i need to move on... move on where???? his father never was there for him. dusty felt disappointed from that. he wanted a dad, but his dad was too busy running around on me and other things. i am here for you nancy if you want to talk. i..understand what you feel. hugs to you, valerie
At 3:22pm on January 26, 2011, Janet - Todd's Mom said…

Hi Nancy,

The poem, Safely Home, did give me some comfort today, it was beautiful.   I've never been a very religious person, but a spiritual and moral one.  I just wanted to let you know that I can't cry when my husband is around either because he gets overly concerned, wants to "fix" my pain, and he knows can't.  He is suffering too, as I'm sure your husband is.  When we do talk about our son Todd, I sometimes hear him gasp in pain, as though the feelings just hit him.  I think it's because he usually keeps the pain way down deep somewhere and is afraid if he lets it our, he'll fall apart completely.  From many of the replies here, I see that it's not unusual for fathers not to want to talk about the devastating loss of losing their child.  Anyway, your daughter looks adorable, and you can talk about her here as much as you want to, because we're all suffering the same horrific loss and want to hear about each other's children.  I know I do.  Love and hugs to you,  Janet

At 2:35pm on January 26, 2011, valerie moore said…
dear nancy, my thoughts are with you today and your beautiful daugter. too bad about your husband.  i have the same thing going on in my home,  mother in law lives with us.  neither she nor he, want to hear  about my baby dusty (he was 25) they both think i should have moved on by now, its been 1 yr  5 mos,  he was my only child/.  i have a lost and sad feeling.  i have no support.  its such a lonely journey, i at least have the peace that God took him quietly in his sleep and the is safe and happy in heaven.  we all love and care for you nancy, this is the only site i have that people care and know what we are all feeling.  hugs to you, valerie

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