Thank you June.. With places such as this one, where we can cherish the memory of our mothers, they truly can live forever.They are in our hearts and minds every single day... In your troubled times look within yourself , your mother is there...
That's exactly how we felt so much pressure to make decisions, one minute we were forced to think about planning her funeral then forced to search for a suitable long term care facility. All in all, it sounds like we both were on a "fast track", I have had to take time off of work and school to get me together because i feel so lost. I truly believe no matter what you think, you can't really prepare to loss your mother. A mother's love has a beginning but no ending. Now, I've been sitting on this couch for 4 days now, i know i need to get up and get back into the swing of things but have no energy. We have such a similar situation!!! Thanks for sharing your story and if you ever need to talk please don't hesistate.
Nothing is simple anymore. Everything has special meaning now. Tomorrow will be 2 months and I still can't accept it. My 4 year old nephew and I spent the afternoon at her house, playing with my new puppy (I ache everywhere) and the house still smells like her. She should be in her recliner watching CNN.
In response to your last message.... You are definitely right about having to mourn in your own time and in your own way. Dealing with the loss of a loved one, especially a mother, is not exactly a science. People may never realize the void that is left in your life. You've essentially lost the person who has been a part of your life the longest. That alone is tramatic. Speaking from experience, mourn how you mourn and don't let anyone tell you to "get over it" or tell you that its about time that you move on.... You're experiencing a whole new life now. The life you knew is no longer, and that takes time to adjust to. The near future is going to be somewhat of a rollercoaster, but trust me, you'll make it. Just take one day or I'll even go so far to say one minute at a time. Coping will ease, but the loss will forever remain. Again, Im here if you need to talk. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
I lost my sweet father on July 28, 2009 and I wish I could say something to help you, but my experience is that nothing can truly help you.
Everyone told me that time will ease the pain, but that wasn't even true; it only makes the pain bareable because we finally realize that our loved one's love for us is still intact and we start to cherish the time we were blessed to share with them.
Going through the stages of grief was the most challenging experience I ever had and there were times when I wanted to die, but for no other reason than to be reunited with my Dad.
I am so sorry for your loss. The array of emotions are completely overwhelming and debilitating. You are doing the right thing by reaching out to people who have been in a similar situation.
I am so sorry about your mom!! my mom passed away in july 2009 almost 6 months ago and your story about you and your mom are so much the same as me and my mom we were best friends!!!! I am a single mom of an 11 year old little girl who was my moms princess!!! I remember when she was alive I would think about the days when I wouldnt have her any more and I would cry my eyes out just thinking about it, then I would pick up the phone and call her crying telling her why I was crying and she would say "oh stop being crazy nothing is going to happen to me" and now I am living those days and I cry morning, afternoon and I still cry my self to sleep everynight missing her. so I know exactly how you feel honey, I am going through the same thing and it has been almost 6 months for me, I think I was numb the first few months but I never stopped crying and I know my mom would not like me this way but I just miss her soooooo much I cant help it. I have 5 sisters and they are all no help to me they are all so jealous of the time I spent with my mom when she was alive and they had their chances but they were always to busy with their own families and I hated to see my mom alone so I was always with her she was 79 and lived alone and she was a great mom to me I felt like she was the only one in this world that cared about me now she is gone so you see you are not alone I feel your pain believe me and I wish I could take it away from both of us!!!! I sat with her for 33 hours while she died and I remeber walking out of the hospital after she passed I didnt know what was going to happen to me without her I did not want to leave the hospital my sisters were there and believe it or not they let me walk out all alone. my two older sisters call me but the rest are heartless! I feel for you belive I do I wish we could talk and make each other feel better becausr we have so much in common with our moms just know there is someone out there going through the same thing. Cathy
Hi Dear JunePeony. To read your story as well as others are heavy on my heart. I lost my sweet Mom on 11/20/09. Just know that no one can take her love or spirit away from you. It's such a good feeling to read & know that there are so many good souls out there who have so much love for their parents &/or loved ones. All we can do now is honor their existence in our lives and carry on and know that they will be watching & loving us still. I don't often go into this site as I'm a basketcase for not only myself but for all who feel like we are messed up.....but we are in a special society that we can only share w/each other how deep our pain is without feeling like we are over dramatic to those who have no clue. My heartfelt sorrow for your loss. We will survive, just keep communicating w/others. PamB
I know how you feel and have the same interest of writing childrens books. Maybe we can do that together. Where do you live? You have to remember though , they can sstill see you and you have to make them proud and show them you are moving on, because they will be sad if you are sad.
I definitely feel your pain in reading your message, as it almost identically resembled my pain when I first lost my mother unexpectedly on 12/21/08. Please lean on those around you that love you. Talk as much as you can about your feelings, it helps tremendously. While you may feel hopeless right now, it gets easier. People always say it gets better, but it never does. You'll always have a void, but it gets easier as time passes to live with the void. Press forward with the memories that you have of and with your mother....and continue to do things in life that you know she'd be proud of... you'll be surprised at how good it will make you feel to know that she's smiling down on your success. Make her proud.
June I'm so sorry for your loss. It's been over a year and I still cry for her daily. She was my love, my support, my backbone. My 4 year old asks about her DAILY...she helped raise my daughter, as I was going through a separation/divorce. I wish I had some magic words to make you feel better and to ease your pain. The sad reality is, there is no cure for our grief. Just know you have people here to help and support you..who have ALL been through what you're going through (which I feel helps immensely). I don't post much, but just reading what people post, let's me know I'm NOT alone! Be strong...if you ever want to chat, please send me a message. XO