Hi Joan. I lost my husband on May 3, 2010 he had a stroke on the 1st and passed on the 3rd. we are never ready to let our loved ones go. Not a day goes by, not an hour goes by that I don't think of him. I tell you the only way I get through each day is with the help and my belief in God. This is the hardest thing I have ever had to go through. In time I hope it gets easier. Your in my prayers.

Hi Joan. I lost my husband on May 3, 2010 he had a stroke on the 1st and passed on the 3rd. we are never ready to let our loved ones go. Not a day goes by, not an hour goes by that I don't think of him. I tell you the only way I get through each day is with the help and my belief in God. This is the hardest thing I have ever had to go through. In time I hope it gets easier. Your in my prayers.

Oh, well he'll just have to wait then! :-)

Joan,

Thank you for your message. It's so great to come here & have people understand. God really did this for Nahjay & for me. I was blessed in so many ways from that one experience. I am so thankful. I have grown so much/ learned alot and one lesson was "let go, let God." We will be o.k. :-)

P.S. That is amazing that a '91 only has 65, 000 on it! Have you ever taken it to car shows? You know the other grandson is now anxiously awaiting his oppurtunity to drive it! Again, thanks so much for responding, it means alot. Christy

Your "book" was nothing but a small note as far as I'm concerned. I write almost daily & sometimes more. They call it journaling, and it really helps relieve some of the built up pressure/feelings. Sometimes I write in letter form as if I'm writing to my husband- as if it's an update on what's going on while he's away. It's been 5 months and I still can't socialize even for minutes without tears pouring out unprovoked. Some people are compassionate and some make you feel like you're choosing to be pitiful to gain attention. That's so messed up considering I choose to remain isolated as much as possible these days. anyway, I'm glad to hear you got away from that small town attitude and have your children for support. HUGS, Christy

joan: this is why we have this site because we could write as much as we have to say sometimes we have to vent out more then expected. but that is ok do  not feel you written a book continue writing and venting out we are here for you hugs are good

Dear Joan, thanks for writing me. I think about how I will be when I see the stone placed. Seeing his name written on it. But at the same time I do not like to go to there and not see anything. I go everyday. Not sure if that is good or bad but I can't seem to stop. I have no children. Plus I hardly leave the house other then for work. Just the fact that you traveled is a good sign that you are a strong person.

Dear Joan, I lost my Bob 4 months ago today. I understand what you mean about not wanting to leave the house. I try to do stuff but then all I think about is getting back home. At the same time comming home to the house with Bob being there is just as hard. I feel like I can't win. I can only be away for a little bit.Then have to run home. Some of my friends say they understand but others look at me like Im crazy and make comments that they would rather be out then at home alone all the time. For not I'm done fighting what I think is the right thing to do and just doing what is right for me. Being at home with the three cats is where I want to be. I feel like Bob is here with me. Do what works for you. My doctor told me it's to new and not to push myself so hard. So now I don't, just try to take it one day at a time. Hope in time your days get better

It has been almost 6 months now. I did it about a month ago, but I still keep some of his shirts around my blouses like he is hugging me. I sleep with the little cap my neighbor knitted for him after his hair fell out because of chemo. It smells like his shampoo. I also keep two wool sweaters that he wore and sleep with them. I did change beds though. We had a king sized bed and the king is dead. It was hard for me to sleep with that void. I took the bed in the guest room which is a queen. I sleep better now.

I also joined a bereavement group in my area(Oakland, CA)which helps. Several people have been coming for about a year. It takes time. I have gone to the group twice and the first time, I just cried through the whole group listening to other peoples' stories. It is hard to talk to friends about it without crying. I think everyone goes through it and some people take literally years to go through grief. You just need a place to vent and to know what you are going through has stages and evolves. There is no set time period. You lose your focus and become confused and just feel blah. Everything seems insurmountable. I get kind of nasty too. Like don't bug me, don't push me. Leave me alone, but be nice to me. I'm a widow in grief and I don't have to adhere to your standards of politeness. I can say anything I want. What more can happen to me?
Hang in there, Joan.
Best wishes,
Marlene