Tamika Hola, Its been awhile I am sorry I took so long to respond. I am in the Rep of Panama. Central America.

You have the right attitude about helping people it helps distract you. And you keep coming back to where you can get help thats good.

Its like that with God we need to keep going back in prayer and to his word where we get his responses to our prayers. Believe it or not things have not changed with human beings emotions and trials and tribulations and the Almighty has addressed it ALL in his word. He has feelings after all, we were created in His image so he can relate to our grief and despair.

If you recall when Jesus came to Mary and Martha on the occasion of the death of their brother Lazarus on seeing them the Bible says at (John 11:38, 39) . . .Jesus, after groaning again within himself, came to the memorial tomb. It was, in fact, a cave, and a stone was lying against it. ³⁹ . . . the point here I am sharing is Jesus who is a perfect reflection of his Father Almighty God felt their pain. The more you get to know a person the easier it is to relate and talk to them. Let me introduce you to God he has a name and it is Jehovah ( Psalms 83:18) so when you talk to him  address him by his personal name not simply God . Just like you would a close personal friend you use their name not ' Hey You boy or girl " If you would like I would be more than pleased to help you get to know Jehovah God through the pages of your own personal copy of the Bible and see how he can comfort you. 

(2 Corinthians 1:3, 4)

. . .Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of tender mercies and the God of all comfort, ⁴ who comforts us in all our tribulation. . .

Talk to you later ? Miss Sylvia

Thanks Tamika, those pictures are from my Wedding day, on 11-11-11. He walked me down the aisle.  

<3, Tamika, you're in my thoughts and prayers today and through the difficult "Merry Christmas" season.  I'm so sorry for your losses.  It sounds like your dad was a very significant person to you in life.  I have not lost a parent yet, but I did lose my son to a brain disease and, ultimately, to a suicide death.  Charles has been gone 18 mos, and it is still so difficult to fathom.  I don't talk much about it anymore to the people in my life b/c they all seem like isn't she done with this yet?  My local grief recovery support group and online groups are the only forums I feel safe talking about it with.  Do you have a local support group in your area to attend for this kind of support?  I found a good one through hospice in my area.  You take care now, and make sure to find the supports that you need that are close by, especially since you don't feel safe talking to those closest to you.  Gentle hugs.  GBY

Tamika, Please accept my most sincere condolences on your loss. Your anger although justifiable is misplaced. If you are a Christian you are familiar with Adam and Eve who are responsible for the plight we face today. God gave them everything, there was abundant food, a beautiful home, a generous Father and they sold us into slavery to sin and death. There is so much comfort in God's Word 2 Corinthians chapter 1 verses 2,3 & 4 says '2 Corinthians 1:3-5) . . .Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of tender mercies and the God of all comfort, ⁴ who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those in any sort of tribulation through the comfort with which we ourselves are being comforted by God. ⁵ For just as the sufferings for the Christ abound in us, so the comfort we get also abounds through the Christ. And it also gives us hope for a brighter future. Endless life on a paradise earth minus the sickness, pain and suffering present to day. You may be familiar with the Lord's Prayer or Our Father in Matthew chapter 6:verses 9 & 10 where we are told to pray for God will to be done on earth as it is in heaven. I am sure you'll agree do matter what your religion is that what is going on today on earth couldn't possibly be going on in heaven God's personal dwelling place. If you go to Revelation chapter 21 verses 3 & 4 you see God has no intention of abandoning his purpose that the earth be a paradise. I would love to help you learn more about Gods purposes and to come to know him as I do as a God of Love who Never takes our loved ones or test us with trials. Please write me if you like Miss Sylvia

Tamika, Please accept my most sincere condolences on your loss. Your anger although justifiable is misplaced. If you are a Christian you are familiar with Adam and Eve who are responsible for the plight we face today. God gave them everything, there was abundant food, a beautiful home, a generous Father and they sold us into slavery to sin and death. There is so much comfort in God's Word 2 Corinthians chapter 1 verses 2,3 & 4 says '2 Corinthians 1:3-5) . . .Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of tender mercies and the God of all comfort, ⁴ who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those in any sort of tribulation through the comfort with which we ourselves are being comforted by God. ⁵ For just as the sufferings for the Christ abound in us, so the comfort we get also abounds through the Christ. And it also gives us hope for a brighter future. Endless life on a paradise earth minus the sickness, pain and suffering present to day. You may be familiar with the Lord's Prayer or Our Father in Matthew chapter 6:verses 9 & 10 where we are told to pray for God will to be done on earth as it is in heaven. I am sure you'll agree do matter what your religion is that what is going on today on earth couldn't possibly be going on in heaven God's personal dwelling place. If you go to Revelation chapter 21 verses 3 & 4 you see God has no intention of abandoning his purpose that the earth be a paradise. I would love to help you learn more about Gods purposes and to come to know him as I do as a God of Love who Never takes our loved ones or test us with trials. Please write me if you like Miss Sylvia

Hi, Tamika

I wish I knew what to say. At first, I was very angry with God for not helping my brother when he needed it the most. I was angry with my brother for what he did to himself and our family. I was angry with his friends for not telling us that he mentioned killing himself (they thought he was joking). I was also angry with myself for not being a better sister. A good sister would have noticed the signs and could have helped him. 10 years later, the anger is still there but it is subsiding.  His pain had nothing to do with me and I try to remember that.

Your brother didn't leave a note and that makes it really hard to try to understand why he did what he did. Depression isn't rational. My brother and your brother were consumed by their depression. Please don't let yourself slide into depression over this. My mom was also very angry and felt guilty about enjoying life and being happy. She had to start taking anitdepressants but she is doing much better now. Start small. Go out with friends, watch a movie, take a mini vacation. You are a allowed to enjoy your life and grieve for your brother at the same time. Please message me if you ever need to talk.

Hi, Tamika

I wish I knew what to say. At first, I was very angry with God for not helping my brother when he needed it the most. I was angry with my brother for what he did to himself and our family. I was angry with his friends for not telling us that he mentioned killing himself (they thought he was joking). I was also angry with myself for not being a better sister. A good sister would have noticed the signs and could have helped him. 10 years later, the anger is still there but it is subsiding.  His pain had nothing to do with me and I try to remember that.

Your brother didn't leave a note and that makes it really hard to try to understand why he did what he did. Depression isn't rational. My brother and your brother were consumed by their depression. Please don't let yourself slide into depression over this. My mom was also very angry and felt guilty about enjoying life and being happy. She had to start taking anitdepressants but she is doing much better now. Start small. Go out with friends, watch a movie, take a mini vacation. You are a allowed to enjoy your life and grieve for your brother at the same time. Please message me if you ever need to talk.

Hi, Tamika

I wish I knew what to say. At first, I was very angry with God for not helping my brother when he needed it the most. I was angry with my brother for what he did to himself and our family. I was angry with his friends for not telling us that he mentioned killing himself (they thought he was joking). I was also angry with myself for not being a better sister. A good sister would have noticed the signs and could have helped him. 10 years later, the anger is still there but it is subsiding.  His pain had nothing to do with me and I try to remember that.

Your brother didn't leave a note and that makes it really hard to try to understand why he did what he did. Depression isn't rational. My brother and your brother were consumed by their depression. Please don't let yourself slide into depression over this. My mom was also very angry and felt guilty about enjoying life and being happy. She had to start taking anitdepressants but she is doing much better now. Start small. Go out with friends, watch a movie, take a mini vacation. You are a allowed to enjoy your life and grieve for your brother at the same time. Please message me if you ever need to talk.