Chicago Beard's Comments

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At 12:20pm on February 6, 2017, Gretchen G said…

Hi Chicago!  Ethan's a good little traveler, so we can drive wherever.  I'll start looking at dates to see if we can maybe work something out with others in the area - maybe sometime in April?  My schedule is limited to weekends, but I would think that'd be the same for most people.

At 4:08pm on July 31, 2011, Barbara Wasilewski said…

I hope you had a good day .

My days are so lonely.

Barbara

At 4:06pm on July 31, 2011, Barbara Wasilewski said…
At 6:34pm on July 25, 2011, Marsha H said…

Hi Chicago Beard ...

 

Thanks for letting me know about ulcerated colitis.  I think I have GERD.  I have done much research in the past two months re grief and find that everything in our body goes wacko (hormonal) when we are grieving.  I can certainly believe it.  I'll be seeing the doc on Tuesday and as far as looking for another doc our system in British Columbia has a shortage of GP's and other docs and feeling as I do I just can't climb one more mountain of bureaucracy while still grieving for my beloved spouse.  One thing I have learned ... God is either going to get me through this or it's time for me to go and as strange as that sounds it does bring some comfort as far as taking the stress off me and hopefully others.  I was strong before and I will be again.  Thank you to everyone on here for your kind support as it has saved me from going totally over the edge.

 

Love and my prayers to everyone here

 

Marcy

At 8:57pm on June 2, 2011, Sheryl McCormick said…
Read your post about your anniversary.  I am glad it wasn't as difficult as you expected and that you are making some progress in the grieving process.  I haven't had to deal with the anniversary yet - my husband's birthday is on Father's Day though.  I am not looking forward to that day at all...
At 12:32am on May 29, 2011, Carol Kayser said…

Thank you so much for your kind words and good suggestion.  Isn't that true, so much easier to talk with strangers, with counsellors, than your own family.  Things get so complicated.  When you read other posts also they do reflect the same issues, that is feeling like a burden, being afraid to ask for help, not wanting to, etc.   We had a happier day today and she is expecting a baby any day now and emotions are pretty visible.  She and I started talking about her dad and she said how sad she was that she couldn't be sharing her happiness and the baby with her dad but then we both said that he was watching from heaven and he would know he will have a beautiful and loving grandchild who will remind us of him and his kind heart.

Do you like to read?  I find it so helpful and comforting to me.   Yes, nothing is the same any more, but each day I know my dear sweetheart is right there with me, bringing me through on those rough days and supporting me thru the others.

 

p.s. you look like such a cute couple! a fun and loving relationship.

 

Hugs,

Carol

 

 

At 9:47am on May 26, 2011, Patricia A. VonBenken said…
I agree, I feel that I am on a roller coaster every day.  The ups and downs, there seems to be more downs than ups.  The next few weeks are going to be difficult, June 19 is our wedding anniversay - it would have been seven years (together for 20), then I have his birthday July 1st, he would have been 57.  I usually just hole up in the house during this time, not want to go or do anything.  But this year my grandchildren talked me into taking them on vacation in June, so I will be with them which does help.  If I am rambling I am sorry, its just that this seems to be the only place I can discuss how I am feeling without hearing, get over it, its been 2.5 years, you need to move on.  All I can say to them is that I hope you never have to go through this and if you do, let me see you move on.
At 9:42pm on May 9, 2011, Sheryl McCormick said…
What a good description: Grief comes in waves. That so describes it for me. Anywhere from a lap to a tsunami. I often think of a roller coaster....
At 2:49pm on May 9, 2011, joanie london said…
Thank you for your comment. May god bless you.
At 7:50pm on May 2, 2011, Sheryl McCormick said…
It would depend on when, etc.  I help raise two grandchildren who have cystic fibrosis.  Their mother died 5 1/2 years ago so my husband and I were helping our youngest son raise our grandchildren.  He was taking them to school Nov. 5th when they were in an accident with a semi that killed my husband.  Thankfully the children were okay (physcially) emotionally this has been very hard on them.  They are so afraid I might die now.
At 12:54pm on April 29, 2011, Sheryl McCormick said…
Are you referring to Lake Michigan? I am about an hour and a 1/2 from there but really love the lake. I imagine it must have been hard to be there without your wife. Also the message you received from the person asking you to email them, I'd report it - I received something similar and think it is spam.
At 11:47pm on April 28, 2011, Fred Dunn said…

I'm not sure if you have ever driven the 200 miles in between Houston and San Antonio but it is 3.5-4 hour drive and it is a sleeper. That doesn't even count the time to get out of Houston/Katy which is ALWAYS congested. Depending on what time you would hit San Antonio it would take a while to get to the opposite side of town where I live.

 

I used to drive that 200 miles at 4:30 in the morning so that I could get to meetings I needed to be there at 8:00AM and unless it was just past Katy in west Houston I would get there at or just before 8:00am.

I can no longer drive long distances and only drive to the Pharmacy, Grocery Store, Doctors Bldg. (they are all from the university I used to work at so are all in the same place about 6 miles away) or the Bank (when I have to make a paper deposit), else I don't drive anymore due to my neurological condition.

What's more is that I don't go to restaurants anymore. Maybe the best I could do depending on the day and how I'm feeling we could meet up at Starbucks as there is one located near where the Drs. bldg is in the Medical Center of S.A..

The half-way point between San Antonio and Houston is Sealy but I don't know if I could drive that far without problems.

God bless,

Fred

At 9:00am on April 26, 2011, Jerry said…
Hi, sorry to have to see you here,but this site does help. My wife passed away 14 months ago, after a few years of medical problems. In May 2009 she spent a month in medical ICU due to her systems failing from chemo. It was the worst time for her,ventilator, lungs collapse ,induced coma. Some how she survived and walked out of the hospital. Then had a few fair months,until the cancer finally got her. I hasve my good days and bad,but her memory is what keeps me going. I hope this site will be of some comfort to you,regards,Jerry
At 3:07am on April 26, 2011, Fred Dunn said…

I forgot to tell you that I did continue to work from her passing in may of 2007 until the beginning of October 2010 when my neurological deficit was interfering with my work as a Systems Analyst at a major medical university. I knew that it was getting worse but I held out until I got my 25 year Plaque in May. Then things just went down from there while I didn't know it was as bad as it was, my coworkers did but helped as much as they could.

 

God bless,

Fred Dunn

At 3:00am on April 26, 2011, Fred Dunn said…

I am very sorry for your loss. I can't say I know what is going through your mind but after I lost my wife of just over 31 years all I can say it it was surrealistic as my mind/brain couldn't and still doesn't fully think she is physically not here. I still wake up in the morning talking to her until I realize it's just me and the dogs (2 border collies). I hardly had time to digest that when my mother past away the next January ~8 months after my wife, so the two special ladies in my life were gone.

I think that maybe because I was taking care of my wife more and more toward the end that my brain tries to match a physical being to that, and I realize there is no one here but the dogs. The dogs give me some one to talk to during the days when I can't get up.

As to being in hibernation, well it's a fact even though I returned to work after my 3 funeral leave days were over and did not use any vacation time. The people at work were essentially my second family, but when they would ask me to go to lunch or an after hours event I would always say "No" since I would feel guilty that my wife couldn't go and was not able to attend any of those types of things for about 3 years.

 

I hope that you are a stronger person than I am as I had 2 coworkers lose their wives of even longer relationships than mine and one has already remarried, the other is getting engaged to be married. The first one was my Director a very strong man of high integrity with a very good sense of humor. The second was a coworker whom my Rose and I tried to get him out when we went out but that only lasted until my Rose could no longer go too far from home.

I share your sadness but can never know exactly what you are going through as we all have different circumstances, and memories.

God bless,

Fred Dunn

At 3:00am on April 26, 2011, Fred Dunn said…

I am very sorry for your loss. I can't say I know what is going through your mind but after I lost my wife of just over 31 years all I can say it it was surrealistic as my mind/brain couldn't and still doesn't fully think she is physically not here. I still wake up in the morning talking to her until I realize it's just me and the dogs (2 border collies). I hardly had time to digest that when my mother past away the next January ~8 months after my wife, so the two special ladies in my life were gone.

I think that maybe because I was taking care of my wife more and more toward the end that my brain tries to match a physical being to that, and I realize there is no one here but the dogs. The dogs give me some one to talk to during the days when I can't get up.

As to being in hibernation, well it's a fact even though I returned to work after my 3 funeral leave days were over and did not use any vacation time. The people at work were essentially my second family, but when they would ask me to go to lunch or an after hours event I would always say "No" since I would feel guilty that my wife couldn't go and was not able to attend any of those types of things for about 3 years.

 

I hope that you are a stronger person than I am as I had 2 coworkers lose their wives of even longer relationships than mine and one has already remarried, the other is getting engaged to be married. The first one was my Director a very strong man of high integrity with a very good sense of humor. The second was a coworker whom my Rose and I tried to get him out when we went out but that only lasted until my Rose could no longer go too far from home.

I share your sadness but can never know exactly what you are going through as we all have different circumstances, and memories.

God bless,

Fred Dunn

At 12:36pm on April 24, 2011, Sheryl McCormick said…

Sorry for the loss of your wife.  It is so painful as all of us can testify but there is great comfort in knowing others are facing the same feelings of loss and understand - truly understand.  I was married 36 years to my husband - it has felt like half of myself died with him.   God bless you and I know you will find all of the members of the group to be a blessing in your time of grief.

Sheryl

 

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