Hi Chicago!  Ethan's a good little traveler, so we can drive wherever.  I'll start looking at dates to see if we can maybe work something out with others in the area - maybe sometime in April?  My schedule is limited to weekends, but I would think that'd be the same for most people.

I hope you had a good day .

My days are so lonely.

Barbara

Hi Chicago Beard ...

Thanks for letting me know about ulcerated colitis.  I think I have GERD.  I have done much research in the past two months re grief and find that everything in our body goes wacko (hormonal) when we are grieving.  I can certainly believe it.  I'll be seeing the doc on Tuesday and as far as looking for another doc our system in British Columbia has a shortage of GP's and other docs and feeling as I do I just can't climb one more mountain of bureaucracy while still grieving for my beloved spouse.  One thing I have learned ... God is either going to get me through this or it's time for me to go and as strange as that sounds it does bring some comfort as far as taking the stress off me and hopefully others.  I was strong before and I will be again.  Thank you to everyone on here for your kind support as it has saved me from going totally over the edge.

Love and my prayers to everyone here

Marcy

Thank you so much for your kind words and good suggestion.  Isn't that true, so much easier to talk with strangers, with counsellors, than your own family.  Things get so complicated.  When you read other posts also they do reflect the same issues, that is feeling like a burden, being afraid to ask for help, not wanting to, etc.   We had a happier day today and she is expecting a baby any day now and emotions are pretty visible.  She and I started talking about her dad and she said how sad she was that she couldn't be sharing her happiness and the baby with her dad but then we both said that he was watching from heaven and he would know he will have a beautiful and loving grandchild who will remind us of him and his kind heart.

Do you like to read?  I find it so helpful and comforting to me.   Yes, nothing is the same any more, but each day I know my dear sweetheart is right there with me, bringing me through on those rough days and supporting me thru the others.

p.s. you look like such a cute couple! a fun and loving relationship.

Hugs,

Carol

I'm not sure if you have ever driven the 200 miles in between Houston and San Antonio but it is 3.5-4 hour drive and it is a sleeper. That doesn't even count the time to get out of Houston/Katy which is ALWAYS congested. Depending on what time you would hit San Antonio it would take a while to get to the opposite side of town where I live.

I used to drive that 200 miles at 4:30 in the morning so that I could get to meetings I needed to be there at 8:00AM and unless it was just past Katy in west Houston I would get there at or just before 8:00am.

I can no longer drive long distances and only drive to the Pharmacy, Grocery Store, Doctors Bldg. (they are all from the university I used to work at so are all in the same place about 6 miles away) or the Bank (when I have to make a paper deposit), else I don't drive anymore due to my neurological condition.

What's more is that I don't go to restaurants anymore. Maybe the best I could do depending on the day and how I'm feeling we could meet up at Starbucks as there is one located near where the Drs. bldg is in the Medical Center of S.A..

The half-way point between San Antonio and Houston is Sealy but I don't know if I could drive that far without problems.

God bless,

Fred

I forgot to tell you that I did continue to work from her passing in may of 2007 until the beginning of October 2010 when my neurological deficit was interfering with my work as a Systems Analyst at a major medical university. I knew that it was getting worse but I held out until I got my 25 year Plaque in May. Then things just went down from there while I didn't know it was as bad as it was, my coworkers did but helped as much as they could.

God bless,

Fred Dunn

I am very sorry for your loss. I can't say I know what is going through your mind but after I lost my wife of just over 31 years all I can say it it was surrealistic as my mind/brain couldn't and still doesn't fully think she is physically not here. I still wake up in the morning talking to her until I realize it's just me and the dogs (2 border collies). I hardly had time to digest that when my mother past away the next January ~8 months after my wife, so the two special ladies in my life were gone.

I think that maybe because I was taking care of my wife more and more toward the end that my brain tries to match a physical being to that, and I realize there is no one here but the dogs. The dogs give me some one to talk to during the days when I can't get up.

As to being in hibernation, well it's a fact even though I returned to work after my 3 funeral leave days were over and did not use any vacation time. The people at work were essentially my second family, but when they would ask me to go to lunch or an after hours event I would always say "No" since I would feel guilty that my wife couldn't go and was not able to attend any of those types of things for about 3 years.

I hope that you are a stronger person than I am as I had 2 coworkers lose their wives of even longer relationships than mine and one has already remarried, the other is getting engaged to be married. The first one was my Director a very strong man of high integrity with a very good sense of humor. The second was a coworker whom my Rose and I tried to get him out when we went out but that only lasted until my Rose could no longer go too far from home.

I share your sadness but can never know exactly what you are going through as we all have different circumstances, and memories.

God bless,

Fred Dunn

I am very sorry for your loss. I can't say I know what is going through your mind but after I lost my wife of just over 31 years all I can say it it was surrealistic as my mind/brain couldn't and still doesn't fully think she is physically not here. I still wake up in the morning talking to her until I realize it's just me and the dogs (2 border collies). I hardly had time to digest that when my mother past away the next January ~8 months after my wife, so the two special ladies in my life were gone.

I think that maybe because I was taking care of my wife more and more toward the end that my brain tries to match a physical being to that, and I realize there is no one here but the dogs. The dogs give me some one to talk to during the days when I can't get up.

As to being in hibernation, well it's a fact even though I returned to work after my 3 funeral leave days were over and did not use any vacation time. The people at work were essentially my second family, but when they would ask me to go to lunch or an after hours event I would always say "No" since I would feel guilty that my wife couldn't go and was not able to attend any of those types of things for about 3 years.

I hope that you are a stronger person than I am as I had 2 coworkers lose their wives of even longer relationships than mine and one has already remarried, the other is getting engaged to be married. The first one was my Director a very strong man of high integrity with a very good sense of humor. The second was a coworker whom my Rose and I tried to get him out when we went out but that only lasted until my Rose could no longer go too far from home.

I share your sadness but can never know exactly what you are going through as we all have different circumstances, and memories.

God bless,

Fred Dunn