I wrote quite a long letter to you yesterday, but for some reason, Its not on here.
How are you doing today. I know yesterday was very hard for you being the anniversary of Joey's death. I would have liked to be with you and just listen to you talk and hold you as you cried. I would like to send you some songs. but it won't take it on this web, if you would like, I can email them to you. So if you email me, I will send them to you by email. My email address is firstname.lastname@example.org. I will be moving in a couple months and that email address will change in Oct. But if I have yours, I can keep in touch. Hope to hear from you and God's Grace be with you.
Hi Wendy, Im not doing that great at the moment... I just need to focus I think. I went and ordered a charm bracelet If I had $$ I would be wearing an anchor, I just couldnt decide what to get to honor my Baby, here is what I decided on, a heart charm that is his bearthstone, a pacifier, because he loved his when he was a baby, checkered flags because he loved going to the races, His initials, a pair of wrenches because he loved working on cars, the chevy bowtie with Redneck written in it, because he wouldve loved that!, a scorpian because he is Scorpio, and a charm that says SON.... I couldve kept adding but we dont have the money. I am going out to the farmers market, my family will be there, I had a tough time last night just deep sorrow so I need to get out. I too would love for you to keep in contact with me, I am not good at keeping in touch, I feel like I have lost a part of my mind, cant remember 2 seconds ago. Thank you for your support , I just want you to know you are helping me and I love you for this.
Thank You Wendy for your kind words. I also have a child who has been on a suicidal edge. I am watching her very closely. I also tell her I need her and we need each other to get through this. There is a part of me that just wants to die also. For my two children who are still living I must stay with them. Every day my brain is screaming. When someone asks how are you I want to scream!!!! Im not fine , nothing is ok, leave me alone. Instead I lie and say everything is ok or I am coping. Its the hardest thing ever ...so unbearable God Bless You and your family
my email is email@example.com. If you write me there I will be able to download a very special song to my heart. I know it may make tears come to you, but also bring comfort. Another picture of Matthew is entered. It was on the rehearsal night before my husband and I married 3 years ago June. 14 months before Matthew died. He also danced with me. I Know today is the most difficult day, being the year anniversary of Rich's passing.
It is the hardest year to get through. It will ease up some as time goes by, and these contacts we have will help to heal. My prayers and heart are with you all. God bless,
Hi Wendy, Thanks for replying back to me. It sure makes me feel good to be able to share my feelings and not hide them. Today is 1 yr, that we buried Rich. He had property up north and lived there. On his property Richard's ashes or buried in an urn. We got a beautiful head stone for him. It's nice because when we go upnorth I can sit by him and read or whatever. My grandkids also say lets go sit by Uncle Rich for awhile. I want to cry my heart out today, because I remember everything that was going on a year ago. But I'm also working on being happy too. If Richard would have lived, he would be in a wheel chair and a nursing home by now. He was that bad. That would be the last way he would have wanted to live. So I guess God heard his prayers and said he suffered enough. I'm trying not to cry because I won't stop.
Hi Wendy, my name is Janie. I'm new at this so please bear with me. I read you message to Tami, it was so true. My son (Richard) died on Jan. 9, 2009,
he was 32 yrs. my sister's youngest son died Oct. 25, 2008, Tom was 44 yrs. and on Nov. 18, 2008 we lost our mother. I was taking care of both Rich, who lived 2hours from me, and my mother, who in the end I had to place her in a nursing home. My heart goes out to everyone that has to bear this horrible pain. I've been going thru depression, now I finally am seeing a thrapist, and am on medication. I sometimes feel very guilty feeling better on some days. I feel that I should be crying the rest of my life. I too miss Rich so much. I talk to him all the time. He sends this bird, a red cardinal to chirp and talk to me. my neighbors think I'm crazy when I whistle back at him. Please email back.
Dear Wendy, Thank you for writting, Your Son Matthew is so very handsome. I am so sorry for you and your loss. Im sure you as I never in a million years thought we would be in this position. I too was (I hate to talk about him in the past tense) so very close to my son, I spoiled him like no other, I also have a daughter (27), she lives at home, but she understands, he was my baby! Joeys accident is still under investigation with the highway patrol, it is taking so long that it has made me start to wonder, there were other events leading up to his accident, maybe someday we can write to eachother and share... My heart goes out to you, and thank you again so much for your kind words....
This is a picture of my son Matthew and I who died on Sept. 2,2007, Three months after his 30th birthday.
Matthew and I where very close, and my heart still aches for him. Grief has no time limit. So be true to your feelings, let grief heal your soul. Keep the faith, and know you will see your son again one day. We all will. My prayers are with you, God bless you,