Hello miss Lisa!! I apologize it's been SO long since I've been on here but I got to thinking about everyone on here especially those I use to speak to often! I hope to hear from you one of these days. Just wanted you to know I was thinking of you even now!
John 5:28,29- "All those in the memorial tombs will hear his voice...and come out."
Hi Lisa, thanks for your comment. Your profile pic and story remind me so much of me and my son! I also had him at a young age - I was 18 and just out of high school. His father didn't stick around and I had to grow up fast and become a responsible parent. I wouldn't be the woman I am today if I had not had him. I sacrificed so much for him, and he turned out to be a great kid who sounds a lot like your Daniel. I feel so cheated now that he is gone! I have some ok days and some not so ok days, but the 1 year mark is almost here so I am not holding up as well lately. Thanks for reaching out!
I read your post on the main page and you're not crazy. You are mourning the loss of the most important person in your life. Losing a child is something you will never get over.
It's been one year and four months since we lost our daughter and it's much harder now. I hear it gets better as time goes on, in my case it's not gotten better, it's gotten worse.
It really does make a difference to me to come on this site and talk to people that really do know how I feel. I read yesterday about a mother whose son was murdered 25 years ago and she said she is not happy, but content. I have to agree with that.
You're very important to other people and sadly the message of losing your son to texting has helped others I'm sure.
Hang in there today and know you are being though of.
Thank you for leaving the comment and putting your story out there to share. My son Manuel was so much like your son--he was a great athlete, everyone like to be around him because he was so much fun. He had so much to give in this world, and was such a good friend to so many people.
I think I am just in the middle of reality setting in. The first few months I was in shock and still getting things done, but now I am just so tired. I don't even want to go for a walk. But I know I have to figure out a way through this to help my daughters, who are 15 and 10. Sometimes I really wish I had the luxury of a mini-breakdown!
I hope you are feeling better as time goes on. My girls and I are trying to focus on how we can move forward, because I know Manuel would want us to live as vibrantly as he did. I just know it is going to take time, and it's hard to be in the middle of this.
HI LISA SO SORRY TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR SON MY SON WAS 28 WHEN HE PASSED SO SUDDENLY IM FROM FTWAYNE AND IM HERE ANYTIME YOU WANNA TALK PLEASE GOD GIVE LISA THE COMFORT THAT I KNOW ONLY YOU CAN GIVE....AND BTW LISA MY NAME IS LISA ALSO
lisa, you are blessed to have so much support in your life after your beautiful son passed. i dont have that luxury and my son has been gone 1 yr and 5 mos. and i have barely moved in the grief. i am lonely and sad. when i went back to work, i had nobody that even knew what happened. i am so happy for you, thanks for sharing your story. hugs, valerie
I just read you main post and am so glad that your co workers gave you so much love and compassion when you returned to work. This makes all the difference in the world when you are trying to heal and move forward. I am blessed with many friends and family and I don't know what I would have done without all their love and support the lat 13 months. It is all we ask for in this grief journey. And then some days we aren't as strong as we would like to be or the saddness creeps up and hits us but we are just appreciative that people can just hug us, no words need to be spoken at that moment, just warm compassion.
So glad they have all been there for you.
Your son was such a special guy and so very handsome. We need more of these fine young men to stay with us on our earth.!!!
I too am so relieved your husband called out to you with the help of Daniel. It was not your husbands time....he is needed here to be with you and your other son to heal from your tragedy.
I am also glad you are reaching out for some kind of counseling for all of you. When something like this happens every family is different in how they need to deal with it. Sounds like your husband pulled inward. But now he knows he has to express what he is feeling. That is good.
My husband tried to drink away his pain for 9 mos. after our loss. Then he had a heart scare and was hospitalized. It was only then that he had to stop the drinking and feel the pain in order to heal.
Our family, along with all the others will NEVER be the same as our family has been shattered just like glass, but there is life left for the family members here so we have to learn to try and heal, and go on for our family, other children and grand children. It is a hard road for sure.
My thoughts are with you and your family.....I pray you find a good counseling group and your husband. Positive thoughts coming your way
Dear Lisa, please know that so many of us are thinking of you and thankful that you found your husband in time. I don't know why your family treats your husband poorly, but if it were me, I wouldn't give them the opportunity to say these hurtful things to him. Just because they're your family doesn't mean that you have to see them frequently. As if you and your husband aren't in enough pain, they give you & him more? Tell your husband about how we all care about you & him, and wishing you love & prayers. Everyone here has suffered the worst thing that can happen to anyone, and we're all just getting by one day at a time, sometimes one minute at a time. Hugs, Janet
Im sorry that your family isn't behind you, I realy don't know what i woud do if my wasn't. Taking medication right now is the only way i can cope, and even with that my mind most of the time just seems can't focus. You do what you have to do to survive and tell everyone else to shove it. Everyone on this site has been where you are and still there we might now be related but i can talked more freely on this site than anyone in my family, I pray for some kind of peace for you today.
Hi Lisa,I hope this helps,after reading your story I think you should forgive him and release the hatred and pain because God has blessed you with a wonderful husband and you should focus all of you love on him and not let this sperm donor have any space in your life,he has caused you enough pain so don't let him continue to faze you as long as he knows he has your attention then he'll keep messing with you so let him go and forget him and give all of your attention to your family .Be Blessed the Preacher
hi lisa, its nice to know that other people out there are as crazy as i am when it comes to saying something to another parent. That dumb lady still bothers me. The look on her face when i asked why her son chivering and she had a coat on. I wish i could have seen my son grow up and go to college. I can tell by the way to speak of your son he was a loved man. Im truly sorry for your loss. I will keep you in my thoughts.
lisa thank you for ur kind words but it wasnt my son's dad who killed him and i know now i have to change it..i was 5 weeks pregnant when my son was killed..i now have a beautiful 1yr old son,it was his father that killed my caden..i guess i need to make it clear about who it was..i guess im afraid of how people will react to me having this man's child after what he did,but my baby has no blame,if it wasnt for hin i would have gone crazy
lisa, thank you for your note. i made it through the day yesterday with only a few crying spells and i lit a candle for awhile in the evening,,, then... i had a clear dream this morning, i am off today... i wont go into all the details, but the main point of the dream was me getting to tell dusty that i loved him so much. i had a similar dream last week getting to tell him i loved him. these are the only 2 times since he passed that he has come back to me.... the dreams were very clear... i woke up sad and crying mainly because i miss him so much. yes, i will probably continue counting the months for a long time. he was my only child and passed from a drug overdose, he was a drug addict for a long time, i tried everything in my power to help him, loved him unconditionally, but the disease was larger than he could handle... when i look back, dusty lived a full life for his age, he was 25... i am thankful he got to do so many things in his short time. thank for for listening...hugs, valerie
hi lisa, thanks for your kind words. I wish things were different for all of us. My days are filled with saddness and tears. I cant believe we are having these conversations. I welcome you as a friend here.
Hi Lisa,let your son live his life you'll feek freer than trying to watch his every move,God has his hand there for him and nothing will happen just trust and have faith.As to your question,you could not have done any better than you did you've been a good mother and watching them every moment couldn't change the outcome I thought the same about my daughter but the doctor said if wwe had been in the hospital we couldn't have saved her,the blood vessel burst in her head and covered her brain in all four steps and killed her instantly,so love your son that's with you and let him live .the Preacher
Lisa I'm so sorry your husbands family is doig this to you, that is one thing i am blessed with both sides of our family have pulled together and been so supportive, why people have to be so mean especially at times like this, but we are all here for you we may not be relatives but we are family due to the fact everyone here knows how you are feeling, just keep a tight hold on your husband and other son and with all of our help we all will get thru this until we are blessed to go see our chilren again.
Lisa, this is the best therapy that I've found to date. I'm going to start a grief counseling session in January. After that, the therapist wants my wife and I do attend a " parents that have lost a child" group that meets every other Wednesday. I feel great relief with others that know exact;y how I feel.
I know how you feel about your surviving son. I have another son that's 20. He's a junior at Ohio State and lives off campus with three very close friends. I know that I can't build a cocoon around him but if I were to lose him, I don't see how my wife and I could/would want to continue. Before this happen I knew that there was always a possibilty of something happening but really never thought it would be me. Now, I don't feel that way with my youngest son.