Hello Belinda, just checking on you. Hopefully everything is ok. Have a great day!

Hi Belinda,

It's been a rough year, as we also lost my dad January 12. I AM coping, it's just hard with all the "anniversary dates". I'm not looking forward to March 26 (my parents' anniversary); April 7 (my dad's birthday) and April 27 (my mom's birthday).

 

How are you doing?

 

Carol

Belinda,

  I have tried to write back to you a hundred times, and each time I feel like I am dumping all of my hurt, sorrow, anger, and utter sadness on you, and you have enough without mine added to it.  I'm still lost, and it's been 10 months.  Today is Christmas, and I know I'm supposed to be all "cheery, and good tidings", especially for my husband and kids, but Bah Hummbug sounds like a better match.  Last night my husband said "You're going to have to learn to deal with the outside world."  And all I kept thinking was "I am dealing with it, I just don't know how to live and be happy in it."  Sometimes even the thought of my kids going into therapy as adults because their mom went cuckoo after her daddy died isn't enough to get me living.  The light that seems to keep me going is helping my mom.  Everything I feel, she feels 10 times more.  She doesn't know who she is without her husband.  I know I still have a future out there, but for her, the future is what she planned with my dad.  She asked me "Am I still married?".  Logically, of course she isn't still married, but how do you just stop being what you have been for the last 42 years?  Enough of me, how are you?  I know everthing you were was rapped up in your parents.  How are you getting by?  How are the kids?  Please dump it all on me, as I seem to do it to you.  Drop me a line when you get a chance.

Cheryl

Belinda,

  I have tried to write back to you a hundred times, and each time I feel like I am dumping all of my hurt, sorrow, anger, and utter sadness on you, and you have enough without mine added to it.  I'm still lost, and it's been 10 months.  Today is Christmas, and I know I'm supposed to be all "cheery, and good tidings", especially for my husband and kids, but Bah Hummbug sounds like a better match.  Last night my husband said "You're going to have to learn to deal with the outside world."  And all I kept thinking was "I am dealing with it, I just don't know how to live and be happy in it."  Sometimes even the thought of my kids going into therapy as adults because their mom went cuckoo after her daddy died isn't enough to get me living.  The light that seems to keep me going is helping my mom.  Everything I feel, she feels 10 times more.  She doesn't know who she is without her husband.  I know I still have a future out there, but for her, the future is what she planned with my dad.  She asked me "Am I still married?".  Logically, of course she isn't still married, but how do you just stop being what you have been for the last 42 years?  Enough of me, how are you?  I know everthing you were was rapped up in your parents.  How are you getting by?  How are the kids?  Please dump it all on me, as I seem to do it to you.  Drop me a line when you get a chance.

Cheryl

Belinda, I did friend request you. Thanks for the note. I'm finding this site a bit confusing at times.

Belinda, I'm sorry--I believe I misread your message to white dove as being to me. I really am trying to find my way around this site but it's all new to me, so excuse me.

Hi Belinda,
I sent you an email from the invite you sent me but not sure if that is where I was suppose to send it. You will see my new email address where you can contact me.

Tina

Hi Belinda,
I sent you an email from the invite you sent me but not sure if that is where I was suppose to send it. You will see my new email address where you can contact me.

Tina

Hi Belinda:) I pray your travels all go well for u! Thank u so much for your prayers.. i do believe they help us.. i try so very hard to learn during very hard times.. and i have.. and the more i learn the less i find out i know lol! Drop me a line when u can ... after your settled and let me know how u are doing k? Thanks dear. Hugs and love paula

Hello Belinda,
Glad you are doing much better! I am still in my rut. Have been having these evil thoughts in my mind about suicide. I sometimes daydream on how I would do it and how free from pain I would be.......

Hi Belinda, I guess they changed the format here. Thank u for requesting me:) We are muddeling thru life one day at a time. Finances have been horrible. Trying once again to get into some sort of counseling. Need to move forward. It has been a year and a half already that i lost my mom.... and my healing has gone backward many times. UGH. How are u dear?

Hi Belinda,
Thank you so much for checking in. This is my son's dog and I do think it is an bulldog of some sort. Thinks are pretty much the same here with my husband and I. He is still in this fog and has only gone for counseling once. He is suppose to see this gentlemen again. Things in our marriage are strained at this time and he is even considering divorce because he said he feels he needs time alone. I told him this will not fix the problem and that he is depressed and needs some counseling. I continue to pray that he will come out of this fog soon, so he can see his unhappiness is only tempory.

for my saddle.. and it was from an international bank. I called on it and the bank said they didnt issue it! They also said they have run into many of these fraudulent money orders... that person didnt realize that their scam has cost me much!! So... stressed, worried, depressed... u name it.. im it!
sorry for the bummer news but its truth. I pray daily, nightly and still there is no light at the end of the tunnel. Not yet. so dear, i sure hope you are doing well and im so glad u have support in all areas!!! Hugs, and love WD

Well hello my friend! I saw your name and had to click on! I havent been on legacy connect in awhile either. hard times. I think if it wasnt for bad luck for so long.. i may have healed a bit more. but hard times bring on my grief even more~ its financial stuff.. but so bad.. that a police officer called saying if i didnt make my checks good by friday they were coming here for me! Trying my hardest to sell my horse.. saddle and ive been running into nothing but scammers! Got a money order in the mail today- oops

Thanks again Belinda,
I will be in touch if anything changes. I trust in the lord to see us through this and let us come out even stronger than before as he always does. He has a plan and maybe this is part of it.

Peace and love surround you always my friend.
Tina

Well there u are hon! I do remember my "rage" mode.. as u have mentioned, those who we felt knew us.. really don't at all. Reminds me of a saying a friend attached on his facebook page. My true friends know the fake smile on my face is just covering up my pain! Dont feel bad about your anger, i have told off many!! And to think about it now, they needed to be! However, there is emptiness now, but also a lack of all their inconsiderate drama.. a trade off u know? We are struggling still.. and its financial.. UGH... seems to be a darn cycle here... and that brings on us missing our Pearlie Much more.. I could certainly entertain US and take our minds off our grief if we were rich!! lol. I hope everything at home will iron out eventually for u dear. Thanks for dropping in~ Love and Hugs to u! Write when ever u feel up to it ok? Paula

Belinda,
You have answered a big question for me and I thank you so very much. My husband lost him mother on June 2ND. She was ill but we saw her a week prior and they said she would be OK as soon as she got her strenghth back. She was 86 years old but very strong and determined. When we got the call that she turned for the worse, we hurried to New Jersey to be by her side at the hospital. 15 minutes after our arrival, she passed with all her loved ones by her side. May she rest in peace. My husband has not been himself since. Of course I understand his pain and want to support him all I can but he continues to push me aside and say, I need space, so back off. OMG! How hurt I was to hear that from the man I love. I was heart broken but yet trying to understand what he must be feeling inside at this time. He said he feels nothing and shows no affection towards me what so ever. He continues to work and go on with life but his personality is not him. I did read you blog and understand some of the same feelings you are experiencing. I just wish I knew what I could do to get my husband back. I feel heart broken not to be able to help him at this time of loss. Thanks again for your support! I am new today and am not real sure how this all works but I guess I will figure it out. God bless you!

Belinda, thanks for checking on me. I am still struggling with the loss of daddy. There has yet to be a day without tears; 9 more days and it will be 3 months. There are so many things happening, that are again breaking my heart. My mom is having to short sale my childhood home. She lost her job a few years ago, and like so many other Americans, hasn't been able to find another. My mom and dad went through ALL of their retirement and savings; which had to be quite a lot to sustain them for this long. My dad was on Social Security and received a few hundred a month from a pension, but my mom isn't old enough to collect his ss, and his pension is now cut in half and going to her. They had to stop paying his life insurance because they couldn't afford it, (they choose to eat) so there is no money. My brother is pretty much non-existstant, and he actually asked her to pay him back for the funeral, which was $6900, and I paid $4800 of it (my dad was a veteran so it was cheaper than most). I haven't spoken to him since the day we buried daddy. I miss my daddy. It's been really hard trying to find a life without him, but I have an incredible husband, and 3 kids, and my mom, and all of them show me everyday that love is the one thing that death cannot take away. The love my daddy gave to me is always with me, even though he's not. How have you been doing? With all your losses, I would imagine that your grief must seem insurmountable at times. I've learned that there is no "life goes on" after a loss, but instead, you begin a new life. Belinda you are in my thoughts and prayers, and again thank you for reaching out!

Thank you, Belinda for your reply. This is the hardest thing I've ever had to go threw so far. I miss my mommy everyday, & I've tired to just go on with life for everyone else. I've tired so hard not to go to a support group or anyone because I thought I should be able to handle it all on my own. I can't and that is so hard for me to admit. I hadn't talked to my dad for 3 1/2 weeks so he called last night, I thought maybe he wanted me to come home cause the May 10 is Mommy birthday. He never mentioned it at all the only thing he did mention was the lady that he's seeing told him he should just move in with her, so that's what he wanted to talk about. I just couldn't so I lied & said their was someone on the other line. I was so upset & hurt. I really was close to my Daddy & Mommy so I think its why I've had such a difficult time with this. I thought Daddy would want to be with his kids not a woman, & I felt like he didn't respect Mommy enough to wait at least a year. So not only did I loose my Mom, I also lost my Dad. I can't keep going on with all this hurt that I have in side me. I just don't even want to live anymore, I don't enjoy anything that I use to. I was getting back in to photograpy before Mommy passed & she loved that I was doing that. But now it doesn't even matter to me. I don't know how to come out of this or even if I can. If you have anything or ways that would help me, please help me. I'm also so sorry for your loss I know exactly how u feel. Thank you for commenting on my picture I did a photo shoot for a friend that owns a spa. Mommy was so proud that I was doing that, the only thing I regret she didn't get to see the pictures before she passed.