Linda Victor's Comments

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At 11:34pm on September 15, 2017, elyse said…
Linda,Try not to blame yourself.When we lose someone we love,most of us will feel guilt in not doing something.The guilt will further your anguish.Even if you brought him to the hosp he wanted,you wouldn't know the outcome.Anything heart related,can be very sudden and change without notice.I know of the anguish,because I feel it myself as well as the guilt.The day my brother went missing,I was working and had text him,I wished I had spoken to him instead and for 3 yrs now,I still think of this.If I had spoken to him,could I have detected something in his voice,I would have left work in that instance.WHY didn't I as a sister seen/known something.
Not to change subject,but to let you know,there are groups within this group you can join and bond with others going through the same loss.On top screen,Click on:Community,Select:Groups,Highlight Group you want to join,Scroll down to Common Wall and highlight the name of the group.As you see on Main Wall there are many Bereaved Spouses,that would be a good group to join,they will reach out to you.
At 10:12am on September 15, 2017, Linda Victor said…
At 10:12am on September 15, 2017, Linda Victor said…
Thank you for your welcoming response boy do i need this group. I lost my xfiance very unexpectedly and was still living with him but had a total hip teplacemennt in nyc at the hospital for special surgery & lived 235 miles away and had to stay in the city for atleast 3 weeks and was going back to saratoga springs but my then fiance told me several times that he needed to take me off the lease because he owed 1,,200 in rent & needed money to pay the rent because of eviction and could not get help with my name on lease too. I thought no big deal and said ok. To get to the point it turned out i was only permitted to see my cats (whom he took care of for me and they looked so great) and saw him only for one day snd was told by mgr & him i cud not stay more than 24 hrs brcause i was off the lease, so i gathered we were broken up and packed some things because & he told me because my walking was still bad he would continue to watch the cats(he loved animals) & i trusted him as if i had them also he said to come back in a couple of wks and then take them if can,moving foward that was the last time i saw him he was so great for just that one day and it was so great being home sleeping with my kitties comforting me and then he came into the bed and comforted me that was my home and was so upset when i left i had to rent a car and drive all the way back even further to the jersey shore where my cousin (one of many i stayed with) was and after that he never let me come back, coming up with tons of excuses (he had a quadruple bypass 20 yrs befre & had a heart attack right befire my surgery and i cancelled my surgery my hip was so bad at tthat point i cud barley walk but managed to have a friend help me and drive me for four days in a row sitting at his side cring and praying asking God to take my life for his that he was my tower of strength and everone even folk who only met him for minutes said he was so strong he had such an aura of strength & had so many miracles that happened to him before escaping death i knew he wud have another one and he did he just woke up his heartbeat stayed stable and they released him in a week, i could not believe it. He even drove the nect day 60 miles. Meanwhile i cud now not even walk to elevators or do anything but didnt want him to take me to the city after what just occured a heart attack. But i needed the surgery really bad and rescheduled and he had his family nurses and help but didnt want it or so he said need it but did not let him drive 238 miles to the city and go thru massive stress i was afraid he would die and it would have been too much. Five months going from one place to another and he was getting more and more abusive and i waa not permitted in his words to come unless i took all my stuff and the cats and leave the same day that was impossible with my hip?? And driving about 800 miles round trip in one day, after all this i ended up in an adult facility getting physical therapy and begging him to come home i missed him my cats so much but he was acting more and more crazy and he knew i did not now have any money to rent a car or get there and he said he still loved me but didnt want to live with me and that the dr said he had to go on August 4th to the hosp he was in to either get a pacemaker or see if his heart got any stronger. I said i wish i could be there and wanted to be there for him because he also was starting to say for a week before he died he was getting worried and scared because he couldnt breathe good & had that not after the heart attack not when he smoked ever, plus he had chest pains for over a week on and off but carried kitty litter and heavy things and told him to stop it. His last call he said he was going to hosp he said i was poisoning him (I wasnt there in 3 mos) and that if there was he was telling them & left the mgr a ltr next call i got was 1 day later frm mgr telling me Frank passed away last nite & she said his family was very mad at me.
At 12:47am on September 14, 2017, elyse said…
Linda,Welcome to our group.Most of all,Sorry for your loss.I am here for the loss of my brother.We are here to support each other.

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