feel what you feel ,anger, pain, love, happiness ,sadness, joy whatever you want for as long as you want it's your right ...this is my gift to you ...you dont have to do what anyone else thinks. you know and only you know what it is you feel ....this time is yourtime now and until you want it will be yours and only your time ..when and if your ready to share the people here are willing to listen to your happy ,and sad stories everyday if it makes you come back a week a day or months later we will still be here for you ....love stormy
my fiance died of a brain aneurysm.45yrs old. i dont even know what im doing here w/o him. i mill him so much.sorry for your loss. its so sudden and unexpected.its only been 1 month and change.im truely lost with out him.god bless ,day day
Thank you s much. Its very hard. I told my oldest that he fell but I will have to tell her the truth soon because I wouldnt want her to hear it from someone else what really happened before I had the chance to tell her. She is a bright 8 yr old going on 16!:) We had a lot of problems, since the day we met he has cheated on me. Everytime I wanted out he wanted to change and fix things. Things were good for 2 months and then he was back doing everything all over again. Since day 1 he was the love of my life and I didnt everything I could for him. I just couldnt understand how I was so great for to him that he would do the things he did to me.There isnt a doubt in my mind that he loved me but for some reason no matter how much we tried or asked for help he couldnt change or help his ways. I finally said enough was enough and he lost it. This wasnt the first time he said that he wanted to end his life, we went through it last Sept (2008). He went and got the help that he needed and said he sees now that there is more to life and he will never think of ending his every again because he had to much to live for. His parents gave him up when he was a baby and his grandparents raised him and his sister. Very close family and he had 6 other aunt/unlces that helped raise them. His Grandma had a stroke several years ago and he took care of her night and day. His grandparents were married 50 years, she passed away a few years ago and his Grandpa re-married an old high school girlfriend and moved to Cal. After that he was never the same. He feared me leaving him he had nothing.. I never thought in my right mind that he would ever ever do something like this. He was a very selfish person, always. He always had to get what he wanted but thats also what I loved about him. I never even got a chance to tell him that I do love you and forgive for all the horrible things y ou did to me, he ended his life so fast. He flew to Texas Monday afternoon, Tuesday he talked to my Mom and said that he was ok about us not being together that he needs to be here for his family and that he would be back in town the following month. They made plans to fly my oldest out there that following Monday because he said that was the only way he would servive not being here. They were BEST FRIENDS. My mom and Jimmie laughed and that was at 10pm. I got a phone call at work 719am wednesday morning from his aunt, I thought it was him and heard the news. He never even tried to call me. In so many ways I blame myself but at the same time I know that it wasnt anything I did. He had told me days before that he hated himself and couldnt ever forgive himself for the things he did to our family. I just wished he knew how much I loved him. I never ever wanted things to end, I made myself just so I could have a better life or we could make things work but he didnt see it that way. Im very lost right now and I just want him back. I wish the whole world couldve known him. Im sure that everyone says that about the one they loved but he really was an amazing person, huge heart, loved kids and his family and made friends everywhere he went. I found this site and Im not sure what I was looking for.. I guess just someone to talk to. I feel that I have to be strong and I never talk about it or cry in front of anyone but my kids. No matter where I am, I feel that people are judging me, talking about me behind my back; good or bad. And I just hate it. I miss him very much. Im sorry this was so long, I really did sum it up!:) Thanks for talking to me and writing to me. Christine
thank you so much for your e mail. no i do not have a husband been . he has been gone many years. i do have a daughter and three wonderful grandchildren whom i love with all of my heart. And i have good friends. i will keep in touch and i am so sorry for your loss. thank you again
I am just surviving it is getting closer to the holidays, the first one without my beloved husband, after 10 years together. It will be a month on November 26,2009 since he passed away. How about you? Hope you are feeling better. I think is very insensitive too people even mention that to you. I guess they just try to help, but such a comment is very inappropriate at this time. Me too, I even don't think about another man right now. I still grieving and in love with my husband. I am numb, unable to even have romantic feelings for another man. I am jus 47 years old, probably one day, but I am not sure in my heart I still married with my "John" I have our wedding pictures and a video of it. I can look at the pictures but I can't watch the video yet. I am not ready. Our wedding was such a beautiful thing....the ceremony the tears in my husband eyes. Oh my God. People don't realize Jennifer what a marriage means to us, when we marry, two people become one. It is very hard to let it go. Time is the best healer. We just have to be stronger,have faith and move forward. Where are you from Jennifer?
I am from FL.
Take care of yourself. Not let people tell you how you should grieve okay.
Thank you for your nice email....I know it takes time. Tomorrow will be 7 weeks for me. Do you have the feeling that time is flying, but then look and say "it's only been XX weeks?" At times I feel like it's been 7 years...I guess I'm tired.
I know I'm young, I just hate hearing people tell me I will find someone else. I know they think I will, and maybe someday that will happen, but it feels very insensitive at such a horrible time. I don't think there's any ill-will that comes with a comment like that, they think they're saying the right thing. It just turns out to be the wrong thing.
Your words sound so positive,,How do you do it? I try sooo hard to find everyhappy moment Ihad with Kimberlie and the only thought that stays in my head is when the nurse came in and told me she was gone. Kimberlie's dad and I are divorced, the strain of a handicapped child did us in. He was a great father though not not a very good husband. He wont even talk about Kimberlie anymore. she was his only child.
Im glad I have Stephanie. She has been a great help throughout the year but she has a life too and I dont want her worrying about mom all the time. Thank you for all your kind words, you truly are a very strong person and hopefully someday i will get at that point too.
Thank you for responding Missmylove47. Kimberlie was 17. She wasnt very big though. She was about the size of a 6 year old. I could still pick her up and carry her around. She was the reason I lived. Dont get me wrong I have another daughter she is 24 but she really dont need me as much as Kimberlie did. I feel so lost and empty and I cry all the time and its been a year. Everyone tells me it gets easier,,WHEN?? I just cant take the pain anymore. I want it to go away.