Peggy, thank you so much for reaching out to me. I'm so lost right now and feel like I'm alone in this journey. My husband has been wonderful but I almost feel like everyone is expecting me to move on. It's been just over 2 weeks since my daughter's accident and I just have so many different feelings right now. It seems like everyday I wake up and it takes a minute for me to realize that she's gone and it then the tears and the heartbreak start all over again. I try to make it through the day but have not been able to make it through a day without bursting into tears. I have so many questions about the accident that I know will never be answered I'm scared of what life is going to be like without her. How do I get past the hurt and pain to remember the good days and the memories.
I remember my mom telling me when she was little to wait. She was going to sit back and he rocking chair and watch how I handled the rough times. I never had them though. She was always a great kid, very respectful, never got into trouble and remained on the honor roll all through school. She was to graduate in June with her bachelors and wanted to be a nurse. Always wanting to help others. Why would god take someone so pure and innocent that could have done so much in this world?
I'm sorry to ramble. I guess it helps talking about it.
THIS COMMENT IS FOR LORI WHO POSTED ABOUT HER 2 TEENAGE DAUGHTERS. LORI, I CAN'T FEEL YOUR PAIN BUT I FEEL YOUR SENSE OF GRIEF. I LOST MY ONLY CHILD, BUT I JUST CAN'T EVEN IMAGINE GOING THROUGH THIS TWICE. IT HAS BEEN 4 YRS. AND I AM BETTER BUT STILL VERY LONESEOME FOR HER. I PRAY THAT GOD PUTS HIS HAND ON YOU AND GRANTS YOU PEACE. TIME DOES HELP TO EASE SOME OF THE PAIN BUT NOT THE LONESOME FEELINGS. LET GOD GUIDE YOU THROUGH THIS.
Hi Peggy,I hope things get better as you go and your mind eases even though the pain will still be rough you have too try and feel your way as some days will be okay and some miserable you just have to travel carefully and you'll see better.God Be With You & Your Family.Amen
Hi Peggy,its a matter of looking forward to the next day,when you get to the close of your day just look up and say thank you Lord and then get ready for the next day and don't wake -up dreading the day and its events but wake up with a praise on your lips and a song in your heart and talk to your baby and say I know you're not here with me but you are in my heart and I want you to help me get through this day by acknowledging your present heart to heart and that will be enough for me and that will help you make it if you put head to the sky and keep a prayer in your mind as you're not going to be defeated but you shall be successful in Jesus.Be Blessed my friend!
Hi Peggy,I'm doing okay there are times I get tied up in knots and cry for a while and then there are times I just laugh at the things she would say or as I hear her voice I feel down but I try and travel this road by watching and praying and I pray for others as I know this can be hard to swallow as the inner pain that no one sees comes across our view we're sometimes caught off guard and then there are the times that nothing but joy comes into view.I live knowing that she always livevd her life in the peace of the Lord and I try and do the same.Its not something you forget as some might think and there are the things we deal with that I would not wish on anyone.I hope you can heal that you may be able to bear the hard times by knowing that your baby means the world to you and nothing can separate the love that you share,neither death nor distance,night or day but always the joy and smiles that were shared can continue to guard your heart and mind.May you hear a song or a poem or something of joy and gladness that will bring your heart up to the sky and your mind be at ease.Be Blessed!
Hi Peggy,its good to talk with you and I hope your friend can come to grips with her loss because its so hard to make sense of it at first,it took a long time before I could really let go and I hear many say that they can't let their child go and I know how hard it is but I trust the Lord more and I know that in his hands my baby is safe in his love.I've had a hard time adjusting to the pain I 'm feeling and then seeing the pain others are in,many can't accept the facts of death and they blame God for their loss and a lot of times its because of someone else who has caused our child to leave this world and many times its a sickness that caused it .My daughter had no warning that something was wrong she had a headache and all of a sudden she blanked out and that was it she was brain dead on the way to the hosptial as they life-flighted her 2 hrs.away and we went to the hospital and it was sorrow everywhere we were praying doing all we could and after three days it became clear she was gone and her quality of life would have been horrible,she would have been a vegatable and I could not cope with the fact of her being in that situation and I know others who have lost their child to one thing or another,So I know that it takes time to heal but you will heal,that doesn't mean you forget but that your heart can take the pain a lot better.So Be Blessed until we speak again.
Hi Peggy I'm thankful that its been 4 yrs. for me April 10th 2006,the pain is as real as it were yesterday but the reality has gotten better for me for I know she don't want me to suffer so I spend my time trying to help others not suffer as hard for there is a day that we have to look up look out and know that all is well with our souls and know that your childis not in this cold cold world,this world has claimed our children by one way or another whether its a tragic accident or some deadly infirmity or bu the hands of some negligent person driving under the influence or some other tragedy but all in all we could not see it coming if we had it would have been avoided so I say my heart hurts because I had to stand and watch my baby on a ventilator for three days and the doctors say even if she lives she'll never know who you are and that hurts so bad, I know the pain of many and I still try and help all through this trying time .Be Blessed
Hi Peggy thanks for writing. I don't know it is not fair. I had no thoughts of death wish i had of to warn him. i would have felt better if i had of warned him. too late he is gone. i have his photos remember his hugs there is a video of him when he was 2 and 3 it is adorable. carrie L
Hi Peggggy see what my computer is doing driving me crazy it is dial up..... Saw your blog and i touched me as we all are touched by eachothers tragedies. I am so sorry we are experiencing this. I am so sorry we are in this stupid club called death. moms to it ..... i want my baby back. but i can't have him. i know you understand. i need to cry for i saw a smiley face in the clouds today. it was neat. mom said that means everything will be alright. well everything has to be alright because we have to live but it is not alright. because we have to live like this. sorry i am emotional this evening. and thinking about our losses is hard but it needs to come out. i know we share all this pain and i know we understand eachother. what are we just supposed to cry and scream at the sky. or drown in sorrow all alone. carrie L
HI PEGGY,GLAD TO HEAR YOU ARE FEELING BETTER.I GUESS ALL WE HAVE TO LOOK FORWARD TO IS ONE STEP FORWARD.AND KNOW TWO STEPS BACK, WILL FOLLOW.I DO NOT LOOK FORWARD AT ALL TO THE NEW YEAR,IT IS JUST ANOTHER YEAR LONGER WITHOUT PAUL.WELL KEEP TRYING PEGGY.GOD SPEED!KEEP IN TOUCH! ALWAY'S GERI,
PEGGY I'M SORRY TO HEAR THAT YOU HAD A BAD BREAKDOWN ON WED. THE 23RD.IT IS SO UNDERSTANDABLE.IT IS JUST SO HARD.MY HUSBAND AND I WENT TO HIS FAMILY'S ON CHRISTMAS DAY,WHERE THERE WERE 20 PEOPLE,BUT I JUST HAD A HARD TIME,IT WAS TO MUCH.EVERYONE IS SO HAPPY,HOW FORTUNATE THEY ARE.ALL I DID WAS THINK ABOUT HOW MY SON SHOULD BE HERE TOO.YOU CAN'T HELP BUT GET ANGRY,AND THINK HOW UNFAIR.I AGREE PEGGY THE WINTER WEATHER JUST ADDS TO THE BLUES.YOU ARE IN MY THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS PEGGY.YOUR DAUGHTER IS VERY PRETTY,AND I LOVE THE NAME FALLON.ALWAY'S GERI,PAUL'S MOM
HI PEGGY,HOW ARE YOU?CHRISTMAS WAS A HARD ONE TO GET THRU THIS YEAR.IT'S JUST NOT FAIR,IS IT?LAST YEAR I WAS NUMB. THIS YEAR WAS DIFFERENT OF COURSE,SINCE IT WAS MY SECOND ONE.HOW ARE YOU COPING?THINKING OF YOU,GERI
I too went to my daughters grave and decorated it for christmas and I cried through the whole thing. Its just not right to be decorating my baby's grave. She should be here with me enjoying the lights, the smells and all the holiday brings.
hi peggy,one person said to me one time, i could never have just one child.i really don't think i would be any different,the pain would be the same.it is just a tremendous load we have to bear.i always ask god why why why?it's the hardest thing we will ever have to endure.but i do go to grief share in my area,and have been going,ever since it happened.i love the leader of my group,she has been a saving grace.and i will continue to go for as long as it takes.i don't let on anymore to my husband,family or friends,what i am feeling,it is to hard for all of us.i think legacy connect is a wonderful website.be well peggy,talk to you again.godspeed, geri
hi peggy,i am sorry for your loss of fallen.it is so devastating.my son paul passed on march,23,2008,he was a passenger in a car, when another car hit them.paul was my only child,a senior in college,he was so loved and so full of life.of course when i recieved the awful news that night,after getting sick,i went into immediate shock,and there are many, many, times i believe i am still there.my heart and prayers are with you,and may god be near you,always.may your beautiful daughter, fallon,rest with god,forever.always and forever,geri
Hi Peggy, I am so sorry about Fallon, What a beautiful name! Do you have a memorial site, I would love to go look if you do, if you dont, you can add pictures here if you would like. I miss my son so much as I know all of us parents miss our children, I dont like saying this at all but it helps to know that I am not alone and I can learn from others that have lost and been through tis longer then I have. We all need each other, I really believe that!
I'm so sorry for the loss of your daughter, Fallon. All of us here understand the pain and sorrow you feel. I also know that, at least for me, gloomy weather just seems to scream my loss even louder. This group is very support and next to my faith in Jesus, it has truely been one of my lifelines. I wrote a poem in the middle of a thunderstorm called "Always Raining, a Letter to My Son, Jon". I posted it on the Hospice support site. Hugs of Hope.
Just wanted to send hugs your way. My little boy Liam died at age 2 in Dec 2004.
Hope the rainy weather (in your heart) gives way to joyful memories. It continues to be a hard journey lightened only by the memories of the one we loved and lost on earth.