Diane Cayer's Comments

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At 10:26am on April 27, 2011, shannon churchill said…
Diane, Thank you for posting and for what you said about Tommy.   He had to work that night and it was late when he came home and he was texting and ran off the road and got stuck.   From the mud in the truck it appeared he tried to push his way out...then gave up and started walking.   He knocked on someone's door and they would not let him in.. they called the police instead.. that is how we know this.   Then he continued to walk... it was 15 degrees.   He got too cold.... disoriented? fell into the ditch?  Got sleepy from hypothermia?  We don't know.. we just know he layed in the ditch for 12 hours before anyone found him.   I am having trouble with PTSD not having been there to help.... not knowing....   He came to me in a dream that night and showed me something bad was happening to him and the family.   I woke up... didn't know what to make of it...  but found out later he had died.   
At 10:26am on April 27, 2011, shannon churchill said…
Diane, Thank you for posting and for what you said about Tommy.   He had to work that night and it was late when he came home and he was texting and ran off the road and got stuck.   From the mud in the truck it appeared he tried to push his way out...then gave up and started walking.   He knocked on someone's door and they would not let him in.. they called the police instead.. that is how we know this.   Then he continued to walk... it was 15 degrees.   He got too cold.... disoriented? fell into the ditch?  Got sleepy from hypothermia?  We don't know.. we just know he layed in the ditch for 12 hours before anyone found him.   I am having trouble with PTSD not having been there to help.... not knowing....   He came to me in a dream that night and showed me something bad was happening to him and the family.   I woke up... didn't know what to make of it...  but found out later he had died.   
At 1:08pm on March 28, 2011, VICKY said…
Hello Diane - we are both doing pretty good - still think of my daughter every single day and miss her so much.  Some days it still seems as if it can't be real.  I try to remember that God blessed me with my daughter for 19 years and I am so thankful for that.  Aiden pointed to his mommy's pictures last night and said - Mommy!  I said yes that is your mommy and now he has started saying Dada - where's Dada?  I just say gone - and he is okay with that for now.  He has never seen pictures of him and I guess other children in his daycare must talk about their Dadas and he is wondering now.  Not sure how to handle those questions - any suggestions?  Hope you are doing well and so is your grandson!  \
At 10:37am on March 28, 2011, shannon churchill said…
Diane,   That is the most beautiful trubute you could have given to you precious daughter Shelly.   I am so mad that you had.   It is just wrong to be without her.   I wish I could help to take your pain away.. and I see from the date you lost her that till this date...that has and will not happen.  I have only begun my Journey in this HELL we live with.  My Tommy was full of life and had so many plans for his future.    One day... With God's Promise...we will see them again in heaven.   God Bless
At 9:49am on February 3, 2011, Carrie L said…
Hi Diane I read your story again. I am sorry. It is a neat story kind of happy how you were such good friends. love to you carrie L
At 9:49am on February 3, 2011, Carrie L said…
Hi Diane I read your story again. I am sorry. It is a neat story kind of happy how you were such good friends. love to you carrie L
At 9:33am on December 22, 2010, Carrie L said…
Hi Diane I couldn't get your u tube to come up but I am here with you in the same condition. constant sadness reminders and loss. hope you know you are not alone and that is the beauty of this site. not beautiful to be in this circumstance but beauty of not alone. hope your holiday is ok. as is mine and hope we can remember their lovely personalities. He was so strong. and i love him so much i know you do the same carrie L
At 7:30pm on December 18, 2010, VICKY said…

Only a mother that has lost a child can understand and for the last two days I have voiced how I actually feel and people say stupid things like - just focus on your blessings and go out and have a great day!  Geez, if only it were that simple.

 

I like your odea of having a box with his mother's special things and bring them out when the questions begin.  He is only 17 months old but I still have all his mother's pictures all over the house and I know one day he will understand that she is really his mommy and not just a picture and someone I say that's your mommy.

I hope you and your grandson have a blessed day together - I will try and focus on my daughter is having the best Christmas ever and so is your daughter.  I will pray for you and Jaden as well.  God Bless!

At 7:30pm on December 18, 2010, VICKY said…

Only a mother that has lost a child can understand and for the last two days I have voiced how I actually feel and people say stupid things like - just focus on your blessings and go out and have a great day!  Geez, if only it were that simple.

 

I like your odea of having a box with his mother's special things and bring them out when the questions begin.  He is only 17 months old but I still have all his mother's pictures all over the house and I know one day he will understand that she is really his mommy and not just a picture and someone I say that's your mommy.

I hope you and your grandson have a blessed day together - I will try and focus on my daughter is having the best Christmas ever and so is your daughter.  I will pray for you and Jaden as well.  God Bless!

At 6:52am on December 9, 2010, VICKY said…
Thank you Diane for your understanding and I agree, it does not get easier, only different. I know the day will come when my grandson asks what happened to his mom and I will have to tell him, but I pray that God will give me the answers. His father committed suicide right after killing his mother and I'll have to answer those questions as well. I pray you have a blessed day and know God is holding us up and one day we will all be together again.
At 7:50am on December 6, 2010, VICKY said…
I just joined this site and saw that you just commented one day agao. My daughter was also murdered and I am raising her little baby boy. I am also alone as her father died just a few years ago. My heart is so full of lonliness and I know that Christmas is going to be so very hard. I will pray for you and your family and if it helps, the thought that my Audrey and your Shelly will be celebrating Christmas with Jesus this year and they are both without fear and without pain. I pray that you and your family will endure this very hard time. God Bless You!
At 10:22am on December 5, 2010, myra delgado said…
I JUST WATCHED UR VIDEO. IS SO HARD AT THE END. MY SON WAS 17 AND NOW HE WILL ALWAYS B 17. AM IN SO MUCH PAIN THAT ALL I DO IS CRY. WE WERE A TEAM WE WAS US AND NOW NO LONGER. I WISH 2 B WITH HIM ALWAYS,,,AM SO VERY SORRY FOR UR LIL GIRL SHE WAS BEAUTIFUL AND SO IS UR GRANDBABY...

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