Cathy Pearly's Comments

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At 5:34pm on February 4, 2011, valerie moore said…
cathy, i have been praying for sarah- tell me how she is... on my site, i finally have a photo of my handsome dusty... hugs,  valerie
At 7:45am on January 29, 2011, Carrie L said…
Hi Cathy thanks for your note. that is special the photo is so recent. Morgans friends had lots of neat more recent photos that are very special. I have one of my two boys and me. It really does make me sad to look at it. But of course it did not happen in 07 it happened in 10 the worst year of my life. I don't like talking about it much but I do... somehow I need to. even though talking about it makes me think and be sad more. I need to work it through. I have never been this sad in my life and rightfully so. I feel i let him down. it is a bad feeling to live with. people say you can't blame yourself. but that is not true. it may be sadder unhealthier. but you can blame yourself. each persons life and situation is different. He was not supposed to leave us. People try to say stuff to make you feel better. In time... He was here 24 years.it will take longer than that. perhaps a lifetime. I didn't do the math but our boys were born around the same time 1986. It is weird yesterday was the anniversary of the shuttle crash. what a sad event also. i was pregnant with morgan when that happened. i would go back in a heartbeat. and love him all those years again. hugs to you carrie L
At 6:04pm on January 26, 2011, valerie moore said…

ps.. cathy, how is your dog, sarah??? hugs. val

At 6:03pm on January 26, 2011, valerie moore said…
hi cathy.  as you know, i have a very unsupportive family.  when i cry about missing dusty, my husband, says, "whats wrong now" .. he has also told me  that i am "addicted" to dusty and that we had an unhealthy relationship..  whatever...i think to myself, he never had kids. so how would he know what it feels like.   he never wanted me to be around my own child because he a drug addict... i didnt care what he said, i spent as much time as i could with dusty.   hope you are doing ok...  thinking of you always.  love, valerie
At 7:58am on January 25, 2011, Carrie L said…
Hi cathy you are such a sweetheart. I am going through the grief process. I think I am at the bargaining stage still. Still thinking I can keep him from death but knowing he is dead. It is very confusing. It is very sad. do you still cry uncontrollably? I like the photo you have posted of Jake I like the words you say. Morgan and I never discussed death. Did you with Jake? I feel like i let him down. His best friends mom says she feels like we all let him down. Perhaps this is different for everyone. Accidents are of different natures some more preventable and human error than others. I am sorry for what is. I can barely make each day. But I am not real active. I need to get a job. I see my son in everyones face. everyones hands... I see life so differently he was so invincible .... But he is not here anymore to show that ... It is very difficult to process. Carrie L
At 7:58am on January 25, 2011, Carrie L said…
Hi cathy you are such a sweetheart. I am going through the grief process. I think I am at the bargaining stage still. Still thinking I can keep him from death but knowing he is dead. It is very confusing. It is very sad. do you still cry uncontrollably? I like the photo you have posted of Jake I like the words you say. Morgan and I never discussed death. Did you with Jake? I feel like i let him down. His best friends mom says she feels like we all let him down. Perhaps this is different for everyone. Accidents are of different natures some more preventable and human error than others. I am sorry for what is. I can barely make each day. But I am not real active. I need to get a job. I see my son in everyones face. everyones hands... I see life so differently he was so invincible .... But he is not here anymore to show that ... It is very difficult to process. Carrie L
At 5:34pm on January 24, 2011, valerie moore said…
cathy, i am so sorry about your dog, sarah.  i will pray for a quick recovery, stay positive, what breed is she.  i too, have a 12 1/2 year old rhodesian ridgeback.  she was sick these past few days with diahrea and vomiting and i was freaked out because i cannot lose her either.. i have had her over 11 years and i need  her... i still have a 1 1/2 yr white lab - she is still a PUPPY!  what kind of work do you do?  i am a telephone operator. i am off this week having some test done on my lower back, i have arthritis.  grief comes in waves. another anniv on this friday.. i just dont think of these days as just "another day" because they arent.  they are a big event for us.  i will continue to pray for your dear sarah. please let me know how she is doing... love val
At 4:41pm on January 24, 2011, valerie moore said…
DEAR CATHY, HOW HAVE YOU BEEN, JUST WANTED TO LET YOU KNOW I HAVE BEEN THINKING OF YOU.   MAY GOD BLESS YOU ALWAYS,  YOUR FRIEND, VALERIE
At 4:41pm on January 24, 2011, valerie moore said…
DEAR CATHY, HOW HAVE YOU BEEN, JUST WANTED TO LET YOU KNOW I HAVE BEEN THINKING OF YOU.   MAY GOD BLESS YOU ALWAYS,  YOUR FRIEND, VALERIE
At 9:34am on January 24, 2011, Carrie L said…
Hi Cathy I have been reading your writings and enjoying them. It is good to share. Have been thinking of going to compassionate friends.. said I had a support group on line. sons are so special aren't they.? gosh all the things i failed to do for him. How could he leave me here without him.? He was so independent and i wanted him that way. it is very hard. very consuming. and i can't do anything about it. very very sad ... thanks for your support carrie L
At 9:34am on January 24, 2011, Carrie L said…
Hi Cathy I have been reading your writings and enjoying them. It is good to share. Have been thinking of going to compassionate friends.. said I had a support group on line. sons are so special aren't they.? gosh all the things i failed to do for him. How could he leave me here without him.? He was so independent and i wanted him that way. it is very hard. very consuming. and i can't do anything about it. very very sad ... thanks for your support carrie L
At 7:59pm on January 23, 2011, Gregory Michael Kotlark said…
Thank You Cathy for your thoughts. My 19 year old daughter, Jamie passed away suddenly Oct. 25th, 2010. This is the worst pain I've ever experienced in my life. I find that it is only getting worse as time goes by. People try to be helpful, but they seem afraid of saying the wrong thing to me. This makes it feel like I'm alone in a strange place, with no comfort in sight.
At 6:07pm on January 21, 2011, Melinda Ellen Guinn said…
Go to email address: mhondo@sbcglobal.net and it wii be there. 
At 5:05pm on January 21, 2011, Melinda Ellen Guinn said…
This Sunday, the 23rd, my room-mate is dropping me off at Can- Mikes, so I can bake some peanut butter cookies w/the girls. I bought a Betty Crocker mix we'll make together. I need to be where she'll be visiting from Heaven. Did I send you a thing I copied from (?) I don't remember! It starts, "I wish my child hadn't died..."?
At 1:04pm on January 19, 2011, valerie moore said…
hi cathy,  i just got back from bible study with my pastor.  i am going to church and it is really helping. at first, i was so angry with GOD and now, i am beginning to realize that yes, i am stuck in grief, however the one and only person is OUR LOVING GOD, to get through this, i have to give myself wholley and fully and not give in to satan.  satan is always out there trying to make us feel bad, he takes over.. i am beginning to immerse myself in God because i dont want to continue living a miserable life although i realize i will always miss dusty and have some really crappy days///that is only natural.
At 1:04pm on January 19, 2011, valerie moore said…
cathy, i just wrote you a complete email and it did not go through, basically what i said was that God is the ONE AND ONLY person who can help us get through this horrible journey.  we have to give ourselves to the LORD , study the bible .. the devil is always hanging around to make us feel real bad.  naturally we are going to have real bad days.  i am going to connect now love and hugs,  valerie
At 1:04pm on January 19, 2011, valerie moore said…
cathy, i just wrote you a complete email and it did not go through, basically what i said was that God is the ONE AND ONLY person who can help us get through this horrible journey.  we have to give ourselves to the LORD , study the bible .. the devil is always hanging around to make us feel real bad.  naturally we are going to have real bad days.  i am going to connect now love and hugs,  valerie
At 5:50pm on January 15, 2011, Janet - Todd's Mom said…
Hi Cathy,  I think I must have given the wrong impression.  No one has told me that I should "move on".  Because I've heard from so many bereaved parents here & elsewhere that friends have said that they should be moving on with their lives, I replied that I wouldn't give them a second opportunity to say such a heartless thing.  Fortunately I have wonderful friends and family who understand my need to keep talking about Todd so that no one will forget him.  As if they could!  He was such a kind, gentle, intelligent young man, with a wry sense of humor, who always made us feel happy to have him around.  He loved animals, especially cats.  I'm still having trouble accepting that he is gone.  From a bad cold starting May 26, 2009, for which he sought his doctor's help, which he didn't get, to hospitalization, pneumonia to being put on a ventilator and death on June 8, 2009, less than two weeks..it doesn't make sense to me.  He never smoked or drank (just didn't like the taste), didn't have asthma or any other health issues, didn't have any risk factors at all for this to happen.  I know that I have to accept it, but it's not easy.  My 95-year old father had pneumonia a few years ago and was home from the hospital in two days!  That's what I thought would happen to my son, Todd.
At 3:32am on January 11, 2011, Rev.James Durden said…
HI Cathy,I'm glad you're back and by sharing you can advance in your own healing and not feel lonely when you're alone,I'm sorry for your husband and Jacob your lovely son,it feels strange to look into the mirror and ask the question as to how did I get here?but too look back at the mirror and say I shall not stay here in this state of sadness and dispair,Cathy Jacob's love and smile is enough for you too rise up and not get lost in the shuffle,just hear him speak to mom and give you some of his wisdom as how too carry on and I know that alone will cheer you up and I'd love too hear you say I'm not going down without a fight and you know that we're here to help you up so hold on and don't give up.The Preacher
At 6:40pm on January 10, 2011, valerie moore said…
cathy, yea, i think time wont heal the wounds we have, but lessen the god awful pain, gut wrenching...so we can tolerate the pain better.  for me, losing dusty has pretty much trashed my life.  i feel dead inside.  i feel alone. i just live day to day, minute by minute. just to get through the day, then take my sleeping pills and go to bed.  then wake up to the same routine the next day...  your in my prayers, take care of yourself..love you,  valerie

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