Hi Brenda,you're lookingfrom the inside & I'm seeing from the outside.The rambling you think you're doing is evidence of the growth you've attained as the days have gone by the more you talk the more strength you gain,you're doing better than you think because your heart speaks the heart of Bronda.I started to speak the things that Kisha loved to do & it helped me a lot as yesterday the 15th was my birthday and her voice was always the first voice I heard so I was up early Tuesday morning knowing that she's gone but waiting to hear her voice but a peace came over me as I know she was there in spirit, her saying I love you daddy,its the hardest thing when you know that your is tied in knots with your child.I know my Kisha loved her daddy &her daddy loved her I laid on her in the hospital room from that friday until that Sunday I cried & prayed for three days my other daughter who's very close laid over her & prayed 3 days & now I know how deep your pain is Brenda even as I write you this I'm crying because my birthday passed witjout me hearing my baby speak to me so Ramble as you may but Ramble on because the heart is full of the life & love of Bronda & that heart of hers emits the radiance of her smile as you speak so does Bronda so speak the heart of the most beloved person that could have come into your life & this Christmas will find you as it finds me lviving & looking as I always do for my heart.So be blessed as you travel but Bronda will travel with you as love never dies.Merry Christmas to you & your family.
Hi Brenda,happy birthday & happy holidays this will get better & your heart will ease the pain lingers but it will get better look for all the joy that you shared together as you near her birthday as I said my birthday is the 15th of this month & my baby never failed to be the first one to say happy birthday daddy I love you so I'll miss that as I have for the last 3 years so I know you heard the same thing.So hold your head up as you know how much love Bronda had for you let it it carry you day by day & God Bless you & your family this holiday season.
Hi Brenda,I'm sorry that pain & confusion has to be a part of your grief as it seems that there is a comparison as to who's pain & grief is the worst.So that there is no mistake;Never make a comment about your child to others when they have been left out of something;Reason being your brother-in- law has no idea of the pain you're going thru & to your brother-in-law the pain that you share is different and you should not hurt each other by exchanging jabs with each other it only deepens the pain of you both and tears each one of your hearts and as other family members look on it separates you and this should not be so.Bronda means more to you Brenda than anyone else willl know or feel so don't get angry when other'r don't put the same effort or feelings into something that doesn't mean the same as it does to you, your love & their love are totally different they mean well but they don't feel the same thing you do and may you & your family mend the Rift that has been caused by the misunderstanding.May your brother -in-law not use other deceased family members to defend his anger as to what happened but each of you be Reconciled so that your family may be one and support each other in your pain and not fall out with one another,you all need each other & this is a terrible thing for the children to see as they have to choose between you adults & that should not be so. So please Brenda learn that no one will understand the pain you feel but trust God to help you see that you're not alone but at times your pain can only be understood by only you, others can & will not see the hurt that's in your heart for your child even if they say they do.I had to learn that the hard way after three years so now at times I grieve by myself and say nothing to anyone else its easier that way as others seem not to bother with my grief or call my child's name so I don't bother them with it,it keeps down confusion.I hope you & your brother-in-law can continue to be family and not enemies this is my prayer.Please relinquish any envy,anger and strain you all may have as you need all the love and compassion you can get between each other as we all pray for your family.Much Love Rev.Durden
Brenda,, Thank you so much for responding. I found this site linked to my local newspaper when I was reading Kimberlie's first year memorial. Im sooo sorry to hear about your daughter and as a mom who loses her daughter i feel your pain more than you know.
I will never be the same again. when she left a HUGE part of me went with her and now i just "function" everyday. I am in therapy and my therapist tells me it gets better in time and I want to scream at him and tell him "how the hell do you know" he has his kids. My emotions are so mixed up, one minute im sad and the next Im so angry.
Kathy thanks for writing I am so glad I found this site as we are all going threw the same thing loosing a child. I know nothing will ever bring my Bronda back but it's been 4 months and it still seems like yesterday. The pain is so awful at times I can't hardly breath. I pray to God to give me the strength to make it. And I know he is here caring me now as there is only one set of foot prints. My baby is with my mother who died when I was just two months old and Bronda is her name sake. Thats where we got the Bronda-Maye from. I was suppose to be named Bronda not Brenda and I always said if I ever had a daughter that would be her name. Maye is my mothers and my grandmothers middle name. My grandmother raised me and three more of my sisters. There was seven of us kids in all when my mother died. We lost a sister at 13 when I was little. I know it hurts to lose other family members but nothing compares to this pain.
Your Jon was a very handsome man.
My son John is in Cuba and I had to call him and tell him that his little sister got killed was the hardest thing I have ever had to do.
But I do have some good news to share I am going to be a grandma in June. If it's a girl her middle name will be Maye in honor of my Bronda-Maye.
My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Brenda, I'm sorry for the loss of your Bronda. I don't think we would be human if we didn't have regrets or walk through the "woulda,coulda,shoulda's". I'm figured out pretty quick that none of that would bring Jon back and it only drained me worse than the sorrow of losing him. I'll be praying for you. Hugs of Hope.
Hi Brenda, I just read your letter, I do the same thing, I have an Oatmeal Bear and an Oat meal puppy that Joey has had since he was born, I remember a few years back when he would get ssick I would put them in his bed with him, he would get so embarrassed when his friends would come over and there would be his stuffed animals in his bed, after he passed I freaked out that next day and pulled everything he owned from his room, because he shared it with 2 of his friends at my house, so I wanted to make sure I had all of his stuff.... Now I have the two stuffed animals wrapped in one of his dirty T-shirts, I used to just hug them and smell him, the smell is gone but the stuffed animals have to be right by my head when I sleep. We miss all miss them so much. Joey and I and my husband had a huge fight about a month before his accident, I didnt talk to him for a week, Now I cry all the time because I think to myself, I wasted a week not talking to him, the guilt can tear you up, I just have to think of how he came and apologized to both of us, that was really big, he wasnt the type to apologize... I am so sorry for your loss too, Like I have said before, I wish we all lived on a little island someplace, because we are the only ones that will understand eachother. If you ever need me day or night, my email address is Atonsgirl@aol.com. or you can write on here, I love to hear peoples stories about their children, it doesnt matter how old or young they were, they are our babies! Love to you and Your beautiful Daughter. If you look above where you post your comment you will see a little picture box, you click on that and you can add a picture to your post..
Hi Brenda, Your Daughter is Very Beautiful. It's such a shame that we All must live without a Big part of our Heart. I also have relized latley that we All are Griving the loss of our Children but in the Process weather we relize it or not we are Griving the Loss of the Person that we All once were too. I am definatly Not the Same Fun Loving Person that I was up until the Very Day that the Terrible Tragady Happened. My Son had just turned 21 that Very Day. What happened is His Dad and His Dads GF Joyce Vickless went drinking together on Danny's 21 Birthday and from the Police Report I understand an argument broke out and Danny's Dad and his Dads GF Joyce decided to return him back Home in Butler and started up Interstate I-79 as the argument continued the Police report says that his Dad made the decision to tell his GF to pull over and they kicked him out of the car and left My Son Danny 3 miles from the Portersville Exit while he was Drunk and had just been shut off at the bar, he had no cell phone and it was on a Dark Cold Night. I also learned that My Son was actully laying on the ground before they loaded him to bring him home. Both his Dad and His Dads GF returned to the Bar where they continued Drinking until they received a call from the Pennsylvania State Police saying that My Son Danny was Hit and Killed on the Interstate Highway where "They" had left him.****** I will NEVER EVER be the same Fun Loving Person that I was just over than 10 weeks ago. ******Neither one of them will even talk to me to clear-up some of the questions that I have that keep going over and over in My head.****** Danny is Gone from this Earth but still remains in My Heart.
Hello Cindy I am so sorry for your loss, I do know what you are going through and we will the rest of our lives. I pray to God everyday to give me the strength to make it through this. It's a parents worse nightmare.
What makes me the maddest is when someone says I know what you are going through and if they haven't walked in our shoes they have no idea. We all have lost other family members and it hurts but the pain of losing a child is very very different. You have lost a part of you and the healing takes time. One of my grief book says it's like peeling a onion one layer at a time. I know my life will never be the same as will yours. But we will in time learn to deal with all this.
The picture I have up is of my beautiful daughter.
May I ask how old your son was?
My Heart goes out to you Brenda Sweetheart. I just read the police report on My Sons accident today. The driver said he was messing with the radio and when he looked up my son was standing there with his arms in fornt of him as to say stop or your going to hit me but he said that he had no time to react and hit My son at 65 - 70 MPH. I really don't know what to think. I have processed the information that I thought was correct and now I have new but more correct information to process. I don't know how Any parent survives this. I will be thinking of you. Try and hang in there as we are stuck with no choose. Very Un-Fair :-( Cindy