I just read your post regarding tomorrow being your beloved's birthday. I can't remember his name right now, only that you call him the white man w/no gluteus maximus which always makes me smile. I know it may be a difficult day, but wish you peace & love.
Hey Yaca, Sorry to hear about the aggravation at work, but that's typical isn't it? Thank you for your input on what some of us may experience as time moves on. I understand now how the 2nd year could be worse than the first. I would not have understood as readily before experiencing this first hand! We are all hoping for some relief, but I've met a few women who lost their husband's 7, 10 and 14 years ago who never remarried and say they simply learn to live with the heartbreak and the tears that come and go even after years. That's not something newbies like me want to hear , but I appreciate the truth. Thanks again- Christy
Ahhh now I have a better idea Yaca. Hubby and I drove back and forth from L.A. a couple of times, so the names are a little familiar. I live in cow country too, funny! Well as with you, the cows around here and getting less and less unless they are in a dairy farm. We live 15 mins. from the U.S. border and the closest town is called Lynden, a small Dutch farming community and they have a lot of cows there!
I am going back to work next week. I have been off for 4 months. The reason I stayed away so long was because my husband passed away in the hospital where I work. However there is so much love there for me and for my late husband and the fact that our youngest daughter is expecting a baby and she will be going to the same hospital, that I need to take that next step. I am pretty nervous though!
Dear Yaca, I do like reading your posts and while I don't know where Chino Hills Ca is exactly my dear husband John was born and grew up in Monterey Bay area and has one sister in Salinas and one in Santa Cruz. My daughters and I took John's ashes to rest with his mom down there in October. We live in Canada on the west coast. Christmas and New Year's were hard! 39th wedding anniversary. The descriptions of your husband are wonderful, he sounded like such fun to be around. John could always make me laugh no matter what, loved that about him! Anyway I hope for all the best in 2011, sounds like you deserve it a lot! Good luck with the job.
Yaca, I always enjoy/relate to reading your posts. You have a knack for picking the perfect word to describe the emotion you are going through. You are correct in stating the 2nd year is rough. The 2nd and into the 3rd years were my worst. Started actually feeling like I was healing and making headway after the 3rd year. My husband died 9.5 years ago; there is not a day I don't think about him, there is not a special occassion that comes along that I don't think about him, however, time has helped me with coping and healing. I wish you peace and satisfaction. It sounds to me that you had something I had.... a "forever" love. Time and distance does not diminish it, but you do learn how to adjust. You have such a positive attitude and I wish you nothing but joy, peace and satisfaction.
LOL, he was very handsome... And knew how to dress to impress, girl... Oh and his eyes, would burn into your soul. To say the least I could never tell the boy no :) Thank you, feel free to come back just to creap a little sneak peek, if you want LOL ;-)
Yaca, you are such a sweet, amazing person... And thank you so much for your sympathy. He was a GREAT man, and I thank God everyday for letting me enjoy for the short time that I did. We built many memories, and he changed my life. I will always carry that with me, that and the great smiles he gave me. It's hard to believe that I have had to go through this at such a young age, I mean truth be told I never wanted it to happen, but with his line of work I prepared myself for something like this in the WAY future. Little did I know, that God had another plan. I wish you the very best in yours, and offer my deepest sympathy to you and your family. It has been extremely securring reading everyone story, and their blogs about their loved ones. For abit there, I thought I was going crazy or losing myself in my own sorrow. But looking at everyones post, I have notice that the stories of grief are very similar. Its difficult to lose someone close to you, but to lose a life partner has been the MOST difficult test I have ever endured. I am gratefule to have you all as my support, and hope God is with you every step of the way.
Yaca, I just realized you are in California. I lived in El Monte, Covina, San Dimas, and lastly in Santa Clarita before moving to South Carolina 4 years ago. My daughter just moved here from LaVerne. Seeing Chino Hills brought alot of memories flooding back. I have a few friends over that way still. I will be having my surgery at 7:30 am in the morning so not sure when I can get back. Supposed to be a simple surgery so hopefully I can check back here.
Yaca, Thanks for sharing some treasured memory about you and Byron. Doug was just 6 ft. and I on the other hand am 5'2" ...JUST AS TALL AS HE WAS in spirit. The process sure is heavy on me. Thanks for having folks like you to share with that have been down that darn yellow brick road. HUGS.
Yaca, My heart still bleeds in sadness for you. I was married just 11 years 9 months and 3 days to my soulmate and our journey wasn't long enough. I am struggling this is still all new to me . I am grateful for others like yourself that share your struggles, and daily triumphs. Hugs.
Yaca, that hospice celebration sounded wonderful. So happy you went. Those tears will catch us at the most crazy times. I find just listening to certain songs on the radio or in church get me. We had the childrens choir sing a couple weeks ago and just watching those little ones got me sobbing. Bill loved the little ones and got such a kick out of their little "booboos". Also went to a local rodeo last week that Bill loved. I find that continuing some of these things really helps instead of being too hard. I must remember his love and not the pain. He would want that. Hugs
I haven't been here for a while, I read what u said I really understand what you are saying my husband passed Sept 28, 2009 it's been 1 year 1 month and 1 day I'm still going through the pain and the hurt and the what could I have done different and why didn't I ask that or do this. I miss and love my husband so much as I know you did I still cry uncontrollable but I wish you all the luck in the world and know I will be praying for you and wish you the best.
My deepest sympahty for your loss and my condolences for people stupidity. I am not sure if you know we set up a facebook site Breaved spouse and my name is Hulya Fernando Franco Santini. I love the way you have this way to write your feelings, I wish I could.
YACA; I care that your husband died, we are all here to love and support each other. There are many steps to grief, shock, anger, your friends and family may back off thinking you need time to yourself, and that's the worst thing they can do because you need that love and support, there will be alot of paperwork you will have to do hoping you know where your documents are, there will be days when you think you are doing ok, an slam grief will hit you right between the eyes, for me it was a christmas song, i had not thought of that song in years an when i did the tears just rolled down my cheeks. all of us here have stories to tell, but please dont think that no one cares, I do Yaca..share your story, God Bless and a warm hug
HI Yaca. I read your comment and want you to know I felt the same way. There are few support groups for us. Online isnt the best either, but I want you to know that you are not alone in how you're feeling. I cry daily and wish it would stop. I hope that 2010 will bring you peace.