I am so sorry for the loss of your husband that has brought you here, and welcome you to our very loving and supportive family. I lost my husband Larry in April 2015 to cancer, and I seriously thought I would lost my mind as I confronted life without him. The thoughts and feelings that engulf us in our fresh grief are overwhelming, frightening, First and foremost I had to learn that I was not now completely alone in the world - something i kept thinking over and over. The family and friends around me were trying their best to help me "get over this", but they just didn't understand that it doesn't work that way. I also had no support groups available, partly because in my area they were run by churches and i wasn't ready to deal with any dismissals of Larry's and My love for each other for the 32 years we had together. I'm not a social media fan, but at the urging of a close friend did a search online and landed here - by Providence i believe.
Please believe me that everyone here understands, and can empathzse with your grief. We are all at different stages in our convoluted journeys along the path of our lives without our spouses, and can share support, advice, and offer suggestions based on our own stories. Mostly thought we listen - REALLY listen - to each other, and knowing someone is hearing our confusion and anguish is how we manage to get through the hours, and the days, and eventually the years.
I wish you peace today, and send you a hug to get through the next hour - take it slowly, be gentle with yourself, and share as much or as little of your story as feels right for you - we are here and are listening...
Sorry for your loss. I recommend you check out the LegacyConnect "Bereaved Spouses" group created by Steve Cain. Many angels in that group. I stumbled onto the group while still in the fog over the loss of my wife in 2014. Interacting with them was such a comfort, especially knowing that I wasn't "loony tunes" for the stuff happening to me and being done by me.