Marie's Comments

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At 9:17am on December 27, 2010, Christine J said…
What a sweet and wonderful person you are.  To make such an offer to a stranger when you yourself are going through so much pain.  I guess we are united in that pain.  My brother passed away in Modesto, he was cremated.  My brother loved to travel.  He lived in Florida, Texas and the last several years in California.  I've scattered some of his ashes in FL, some in Texas and will scatter some in California and then the remainder of his ashes will be buried in upstate New York near our Aunts, Uncles and grandmother.  My Christmas was quiet, spent with my Mom and husband.  It was just another day.  The holiday for me wasn't any harder than any other day has been since my brother died.  I miss him and cry for him everyday.  I had a girlfriend over for dinner last night who I haven't seen in awhile.  She had lost her sister 5 years ago and then her father several months later after that.  I've lost people in my life and I've missed them and mourned them, but when my brother passed away its like an undescribable pain.  I told my girlfriend that I get it now, the kind of pain that she has felt over all these years, and I truly "get" you pain Marie, because I feel the same pain.  They say today is a gift because we're not guranteed tomorrow.  I'm trying to honor my brothers life by living mine.  I know that is what he would have wanted.  I know I'm meant to grow from this experience, I'm not sure how yet but hopefully I will.  I will carry him with me the rest of my life and as strange as it sounds he will be the first person I see when it's my time to die.  You know you're not strange or crazy, you're just trying to find your way.  Your world has been forever changed and your trying to create a new normal for yourself.  Be patient and kind with yourself, as I'm trying to be with myself.  You know on Christmas day I emailed my brother and told him how much I missed him and I wished him a Merry Christmas (he was a computer nut) and believe it or not I felt a little better.
At 10:01pm on December 25, 2010, Christine J said…
Hi Marie,  I saw your post and I know how you feel.  My brother was 56 and this Christmas has been soooo tough.  I cry everyday and think of him everyday.  You are not alone.  I'm so sorry you're hurting so bad, but know that others really do understand.  Peace and love..... 
At 6:46am on November 26, 2010, Christine J said…
Hi Marie...Hope you survived Thanksgiving. We went to a friends family's house. I don't know why, I would usually not accept the invitation but I felt my brother was pushing me to accept. My Mom went too and we actually had a decent time. My friends had just lost their mother in September so I think we all were kind of in the same frame of mind. As far as the book the name is... Healing After Loss..Daily Meditations for Working Through Grief....by Martha Whitmore Hickman. It is just daily quotations and her take on them, but each day it seems to hit the mark on how I'm feeling and what I'm going through. There is also another book called...Surviving the Death of a Sibling by T. J. Wray. That is also helpful. I got the books on Amazon. I hope this helps. I know it has helped to me to see myself in others grief in their losses. To know I'm not alone. Know I'm thinking of you and that you're not alone in this grief either.
At 6:46am on November 26, 2010, Christine J said…
Hi Marie...Hope you survived Thanksgiving. We went to a friends family's house. I don't know why, I would usually not accept the invitation but I felt my brother was pushing me to accept. My Mom went too and we actually had a decent time. My friends had just lost their mother in September so I think we all were kind of in the same frame of mind. As far as the book the name is... Healing After Loss..Daily Meditations for Working Through Grief....by Martha Whitmore Hickman. It is just daily quotations and her take on them, but each day it seems to hit the mark on how I'm feeling and what I'm going through. There is also another book called...Surviving the Death of a Sibling by T. J. Wray. That is also helpful. I got the books on Amazon. I hope this helps. I know it has helped to me to see myself in others grief in their losses. To know I'm not alone. Know I'm thinking of you and that you're not alone in this grief either.
At 7:32pm on November 21, 2010, Christine J said…
Marie...Just thinking of you with Thanksgiving coming up. It's been 6 months today since my brother Brad passed away. My husband, Mom & I will be going to friends for dinner. They just lost their Mom too. I think it will be good for us. Anyway, just wanted you to know I haven't forgotten you and hope that you're......I was going to say okay, but is that even possible.
At 8:00am on November 10, 2010, Marie said…
Hayley.. Gods speed in helping you heal.. Brian is all around you just in a different way .. As long as you live so will he .. In your heart and your dogs .. I know with my brothers dog I feel my brother's spirit .. Just because of the love he had for Putty .. and me :)
At 7:06am on November 10, 2010, Hayley Howell said…
I do the same with Brian. I tell him good morning and talk to him all day then tell him good night.
We have three dogs and those were his babies. And I agree they are so much comfort.
At 5:14pm on November 9, 2010, Hayley Howell said…
Marie I still can't believe it...
At 5:14pm on November 9, 2010, Hayley Howell said…
Marie I still can't believe it...
At 4:33pm on November 8, 2010, Christine J said…
I understand. My brother lived in CA and I live in Fla. We always stayed in touch but would see each other once or twice a year. I saw him in Sept of 2009 and noticed he had been losing weight. I was very concerned about him even then. He didn't have health care so put off going to a doctor. He kept telling me on the phone he was feeling better but obviously not. The holidays for you, I'm sure will be very hard. I'm going to recommend a book to you, it's called Healing After Loss, Daily Meditations for Working Through Grief, by Martha Whitmore Hickman. It really was very helpful to me.
At 11:49am on November 8, 2010, Marie said…
I can't figure out how to work this yet .. I never see where my coments are posted nor do I know how to send them 
At 10:58pm on October 16, 2010, Marie said…
Another day has passed..I just keep hoping it was a dream.. But it's not.. I still see him in everything around me.. Im constanly thinking about him.. Then I feel the pain deep in the pit ofn
my stomach know g he's really gone
At 6:54am on October 12, 2010, Marie said…
My brother left me his most valued possession.. His dog Putty..I look at Putty now and I see my brother.. It helps .. Putty puts a smile on my face and a warm feeling in my heart , I loved my brother so much , so I guess u can say Putty and I share the same loss and we both will get through it together

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