Thank you, Martin! Your son Timmy reminds me of my son Todd in so many ways. Todd was older, but so innocent, kind and young for his age. Your writings about Timmy have helped me because I'm going through so much right now with my mother's care that i haven't had time, or energy, to write about my son, who was a joy to my husband and me, the light of my life because of his wonderful sense of humor. Not once in his 38 years of life did he ever make me feel bad, and I can't say that about anyone else I know. Sadly, I didn't appreciate this fact - I just thought he was a wonderful son and friend, more so every day as he got older. Then, suddenly, he was gone. The pain is excruciating and many days I don't think I can go on, but that wouldn't be fair to my husband and daughter, not to mention the people and animals I'm helping in Todd's name and memory.
I too am grateful for all the wonderful memories of my son, and the fun our family had because of his joyful, curious and kind spirit, and the excitement he had over anything good, especially advances in technology, and little things, like the fresh bread his co-worker would bring to the office to share with everyone, enough for Todd to bring some home for us. He loved all animals, especially cats, and had respect for every living thing.
Thank you for writing about your son Timmy. He reminds me so much of Todd that it's very helpful for me as well. I hope you and your family enjoy a peaceful holiday season, as much as is possible.
Thank you, Martin. I have felt a close bond with you from Day One. There are things we can feel comfortable saying to another guy that just wouldn't go on the main page. Some details of Bernie's last weeks were too brutal. I try to put them out of my mind, but they keep coming back. There is no one else to talk with: my two biological daughters don't want to know, and there is a rich and distant cousin in Florida who is good for a one-liner twice a year. There are three close pals: the one in California goes silent when I mention Bernie, one supportive friend in Edmonton, Alberta only met Bernie once, and the other is a great guy in the north of Italy!
So I thank God for this site and your deep understanding of my situation. We both had beautiful sons,and I am grateful for the memories I have of Bernie, his love of his affectionate dogs, his music and his garden. Together we built a stone fountain with two little waterfalls for a blind friend in Toronto, and it was one of the most fulfilling and satisfying things he ever did.
sorry for your loss martin.what a hansome son you have.i love the pictures.i dont have many of my son he was 2 when he passed.life is not fair sometimes it sucks.i wish there is something i could say to ease your pain but nothing could do that.hang in there my prayers are with you all.
Martin, I feel your pain...I see all the pictures you posted I feel that the only thing we have left is photos and memories..I get mad knowing I will never have another picture with my son. this year will be the first of everything for me...I had my first birthday with out him, his first birthday with out him next will be Thanks Giving, Christmas and New Years, I feel its so unfair, I hate this feeling I have...I no longer go out or what to be around people...I'm just a body in this world now there something missing and that something is my son...
You look so happy with your son in all the pictures I can see what a great dad you where.
Are the two little girls in the picture your daughters?
Thank you Martin. We are walking the same path. I have a decal on my car with Kaylees name, dates, and a big beautiful butterfly. She always thought of herself as a.butterflyunder the butterfly are the words "Forever Fifteen". The song, If I die Young, by the band Perry, was one of her favorites. In October she told me when she died she wanted that song played at her funeral. I told her she wasn't going to die til long after I was gone. She died 6 months later. Your page is beautiful. I can't seem to change mine or even put up a profile pic of my Kaylee. I'm having trouble adding you as a friend also
i am very sorry that I called him Chad it should be Tim, my brothers name. I just read my comment and I called him chad, sorry. My brothers name is Timothy Jon, yes Jon is spelled correctly. Very sorry I got the two names mixed up.
Hi , and thanks for not forgetting about me. I really never checked out your site and just did. There are alot of advertisements, unfortunataly, but we can by- pass that. I am truely very sorry. I am still mourning my beloved "Moe". If you were to go to Mattsens funeral home in Forest Lake MN. you would see his precious face. Died Nov. 19th. A bad day. Looking at your sons pics I can see sorrow though. His eyes show that he was simply not happy. The eyes are the windows to your soul. I haven't dug too deep into finding out HOW your son Chad died, but, I can see that he either needed more, or was simply not meant to live long here. I do not in any way want you to feel guilty AT ALL. I have lost 3 best friends through the years and now my husband of 15 years. In looking at all the photos, and videos, it seems that they all knew that they were not going to be here long. They either have those eyes that your son did, OR-- were always too happy. I am worried about my nephew Jacob, we call him Jake, he is 29. He looks a lot like Chad. I would like you to check out "Simple Truths"To a child love is spelled T-I-M-E. the url is: tacmovie.com. I sent this to my son Jimmy and this was last year on fathers day, and he emailed me back and said he thinks he is gonna spend the whole day with his son, my grandson Jimmy, which was 7 on Feb 11th.. It was ironic that the story has the name Jimmy in it. My son never really had a fatherly figure, but I am so proud of his fatherly ways that it is indescribable, to say the least, needless to say that my grandson Jimmy wants to be just like his dad. Cool huh? I must have done something right as a single parent. This message is not to make you feel bad at all. I simply am still mourning immesley over Gary's death,(MOE) and it has been 7 months. Some people think that I should "be getting better". Well it has somewhat, as far as acceptance. But--- it still seems surreal. It is the most difficult thing I have ever went thru. And I've been thru some horrendous ordeals in my 50 years. I guess I don't like how it makes you look at yourself. I better quit typing this may start looking like a book. I sometimes can't quit typing because the words and feelings speel out. I also play piano so.... that is my excuse, everyone has one. lol. I do like the superman pic the best I think. Thanks again for not forgetting about me.
Yes, Chad had grown into a determined man. He was so caring about people. I didn't know that the day I joined was your sons' first year of passing. I DO understand that people find hope in different ways. I also don't believe you have to go to Church to find those things. I think your way of dealing with this if fine...it's your way, and we all have to do this our way. Hope to talk again soon. Much peace to you and your family.
Just wanted to say I enjoyed looking at your site for your son. Looked at all the sweet pictures. I also have lots of photos of my son Chad. Hope you check them out. This is an awful journey for us all. Friends do help us though. I don't think we have ever talked on here...so hello to you!
Yes everything is well I have the flu, it is does not bother me. Life is short it will go away and then I will try to enjoy what I can. I hope you find peace in something.
oh I bought a punching bag buy gloves your knuckles will bleed,, but it help when you are mad that your son is gone. or if someone says you can get over it. no need to argue just go out there and swing away.
I love your video, would love to make one how did you do it????
If I may can I ask how he passed?? I am also glad you GOD to turn to, that helps the first years are very hard, I did not stop pretend she was some where else till they towed her car away i drove it till it died, and when they drove it away, I was in my room for three month again, but I slowly came out. I looked at like this Samantha was so full of life and Joy, that when I well I must live for both of us. I live moment by moment I do not plan things for the futture as I did before I just try to make the best of and share all my happy memories of her. I am sorry for your loss I know the words does not even touch what I want to say. I guess I can say I understand hugs Melissa
I don't know if you got this on the feed first my name is melissa,, my daughter name is samantha she died 10-22-2007,, my heart goes out to you for your son death and i sorry we have to meet like this.. well this is what i wrote i ramble some times but maybe some of the things i have went thru will help
I am so glad you can go to your son gravesite, it took me two years to go to my dads and my three for my moms, i have not been back to my brothers, I did not put my daughters body in a casket because I could not bare to site of in one I had her cremated and I was able to pick it up this year i can dust the box it has her picture on it and i talk to well where ever i am but it has been four years, it took me two years to put her ashes around my neck, I got rid of her car last year and i know longer could pretend she was at college that is what the group therpay and shriek says i was doing, I have said goodbye to her body and hello to her soul it is so hard i try to just cry for once a day. and if i start crying i say i gave that cry today and i am going to remember a happy time and smile.
I know i got off the subject don't be hard on your family it is so hard to loose a child there is no right or wrong way. it is what works for you just remember you have each other and you made your child and that was a blessing it just got cut short wich sucks. sam's real dad is dead so i don't know what you two are going thru, my husband was very upset but it is differnt when it is your own child, let her grieve the way she wants,, maybe group therpy might help i walk out of three of them they where hiding behind mask saying everythings going to be ok,, well know it is not,, you just have to learn to cope and if you have faith know that you will see your child one day is a blessing in it self,, my chuch group understands me me and sam went to that church so it is a big help,, but I will see a girl in the mall that looks like her and start crying,, i carry a pic of her making a funny face i will sit down and look at well i think i said a lot i jump around a lot sorry it is going on five years wow and i said four now i am crying again. I hope some of that help i will go on your site and copy this if i can... Melissa
Very Cool Post Martin, I really enjoyed reading it! And I'm so glad you took the day off to go and purchase some fun items for your daughters. Your words sounded very upbeat.
I understand about grief fat as I've gained back about 5 pounds after reaching a 125 lbs. actually I gained 7 lbs because I went down 2 extra lbs. below my goal putting me at 123. I haven't seen that number on the scale since about the 80's. I feel really fat because I've always had a weight issue and it came on too quickly during the past couple months.
I too have had lots of family issues during my life. However, somewhat different than yours have been nonetheless rather painful. But the latest has been much more than I needed at this time in my life. I'm still awake at this time because something was on my mind with some of the mess that I need to resolve. Oh well I'm sure when I tell my hubby he'll say not to worry about it and give me better advice than I'm giving myself.
I was a heavy smoker and wish that if I could go back and change something I did in my teens it would be never to have smoked. IMHO I feel that it's probably better to eat something that has fewer calories than a donut. LOL I'm sorry I couldn't help it but police are known for enjoying donuts.
I'm getting tired as I had a bowl of plain oatmeal and that usually makes me relax. Now there's something you can eat and not worry about the calories. Okay don't laugh at my suggestion. It's only a suggestion. LOL
I just hope I don't sleep the day away I have lots to do because I've been down with allergies and a bad cold for about 2 weeks. I'm feeling good now I just need some sleep.
Have an upbeat day!
Martin, have a pleasant Easter Sunday with your dear wife and daughters.