Mrtin what is goingto make it better nothing!!!!!!!!!!!! yes i was on the computer for a long time. did it help not really but it passed the time. time when i was either smoking to relieve it or moaning because it hurts so much. people are so cruel why does it matter if on this computer eases it a little?? does not. i hope you get some understanding. best to you carrrie
Hi Martin I am glad i stopped in at the legacy site. For you need comfort. as do we all. I am going to warn you I do believe it gets a lot worse or so it did for me. the first days were total shock. and even the funeral. no thing much just shock. and then it sank in. and now at a year and three months or so i am telling myself he is gone. there is nothing i can do for him. does it really change.. not really but i do wake up a lot thinking of he is gone. but more descriptive i do think of what happened and try to force it out of my mind. has it become a reality.. i don't think so yet. it s very sad and i find myself crying a lot. and talking to him... i hope we can help you. this site had been a little comfort but not a lot. beyond indigo is ok but also not a lot of help. what helps.. i doubt nothing. but know we are in this journey together all of us lost moms and dads... and it is a horrible life time journey until we are gone. please be strong and know your life is worth living and he would want you to live for him. as my son would.. it is a very difficult concept.. carrie
Martin, are you ok? Haven't seen you on here for a couple of days. Hoping you are hanging in there best you can. Always know everyone here is thinking and praying for you and your family during this fresh loss.
I am honored to be your friend. And tht poem you posted was unbelieveable!!
Oh my gosh, it is exactly what all of us feel about this journey of grief.
Last night on Father's Day I had Donny's 3 daughters write on blue balloons and me too and we sent them off to heaven at dark. It really upset one, I was sorry we did it, the others were ok with it. Just don't know what to do to honor his memory, me as a parent wants to do anything to not forget his place on this earth. Just everything is so sad, just like the poem says.
Martin, my heart breaks for you and your family. I am so sorry for the sudden lost of your young son. I lost my adult son on Christmas morning 2009. I am 16 mos out in this journey of grief. After the initial shock of the loss of Donny I too was furious with God and Donny. He died in his sleep from AOD of prescription drugs and methadone. He left behind 3 beautiful teenage daughters that now how to have a life without a father.
I didn't return to church for almost a year, and multiple times I went and couldn't stay so it took a long time before I could get past my anger and return to my faith. I was never a truly strong Catholic but I always had my faith. I have forgiven Donny too as I have to believe he never meant to leave us just happened to be a combination of events and medical conditions that were the "perfect storm".
At the moment you have to just go one minute at a time, then an hour, then a day....baby steps. Let your body feel everything, sadness, anger and disbelief. Try to get rest and stay away from people who don't give you unconditional support. Cling to the ones that give you comfort. This website is the best thing that happened to me. I too was a member when it first started so have sadly seen it grow to 842 members now.
We all try and help each other and give support, so know there are many of here to walk you through this grief journey. I am sorry you have to be here with the rest of us. We all will never be the same people again. We hve lost a part of our body and our hearts....
MARTIN I HOPE YOU'RE BETTER.I KNOW HOW MUST BE FEELING. IT SO J
HARD TO LOSE OUR KIDS. I FEEL SO SAD SO SORRY I MISS MY SON JUST NIGHTS ARE SO HARD. I'LL PRAY FOR US ALL AND HOPE YOUR BETTER ALICIA GOD BLESS YOU
I am sorry for you loss. I am reading your post and cannot stop the tears. I know that pain that disbelief. The question of how can this possibly be. She is ok, she has to ok. Thelooks on the facesof the nurses and the EMTS. Not being allowed to see her. Telling myslef she'll ok. Hoping she is not too hurt to go to her prom. Telling myself the whole time it was not real, none of this was real. She was only 16 and she was good. She was everything god would want his children to be. She was a good rider and had been riding for almost 10 years. She knew how to handle a horse and thank god she had a helmet on. But her helmet did not save my baby and she died of multiple skull fractures. How...why...why? I am, so sorry for you and your family. I pray for your strength. When you do not have any, you come here and this family will help you.
Please be careful responding to Vivian whp osted to you. I beleive she is a scammer preying on people onthis site. It has happened before and she fits the MO for how they posts appear. Sickenign as it is, we lose gods children and must remember the devil is still at work. It will get checked and she'll be removed but please be careful till then.
I think of you and Timmy everyday. I keep hearing his voice in the background over the years. He sounded like a little boy and before I knew it he sounded like a man. I got to know him through you. All the movies you took him too and watched together. Planning special times together. All the worrying you put into making each birthday special for him. You are a father like no other I ever knew. Timmy knew love from you and wanted to be like his Daddy. He was proud of you and never wanted to leave your side even when he was grown up. You gave him all you had to give and made him your world. He knew that. You were his best friend and and he was yours.
Martin, Please know that we are all here for you... You are right, take deep breaths, calm yourself, wish I was there to hold you and let you get this all out. I know that is what we each need, someone to hold us and just let us talk.... we are here, just remember that. We will always be here.
Martin, I'm so sorry for your loss. You have come to a good place. Though none of us want to be here and would give our life to have prevented what brought us here, the people here are very supportive as only someone who is walking a similar path can be. I won't say I know what your going through because my son died after becoming brain dead from a choking accident. He had cerebral palsy. When I first joined this group almost 2yrs ago there were less than 50 members. 832 so sad but so needed. You will be in my prayers. Getting it out really helps and even if you just read the posts it helps. You have a very handsome son. Hugs of hope.