So sorry for your loss.  My name is Jeanette. I'm also new here. I've found the group to be very warm and welcoming. In the confusion of everything going on it's easy to think our behavior or emotions are unique or odd. Knowing that so many feel the same pain (while certainly not comforting in any means) does help us identify and clarify some of the feelings.  Baby Steps. God Bless You on your journey.