What I regret is, my husband was to grow old with me. It was easier to age with him than without him. How crazy is that? I am glad he is not in pain, and yes, I feel him with me in a literal sense. Night time is the roughest. When I do sleep, I usually stay asleep. I want to see him and remember him in a dream, but that has not happened. I talk to him frequently, as I know so many of us do. I am reaching out. I am a trained extrovert - job wise, but shy. He was the one that made friends for us. I do know, we have to change our lives and mingle somehow. I sing at night and have, after too many months of not doing it, have played the piano again. It does make me feel better - I cry as I sing, and when I finish.
some where along the latest blogs age became a factor in relationships, men are expected to marry younger women, I was born November 10,1937 and my Wife was born July 10,1942. That comment struct me as untrue was that the oldest person should die first. You shall know neither the day nor the hour. If you can understand I take my health care as a responsibility. My wife on the other hand hated the medical side of life, for her the saying, "Que Sera, Sera (Whatever Will Be, Will Be)" fit her to a T. She was a fatalist until the end, almost her entire family died of one Cancer or another. She figured it was her lot in life. I had a hard time explaining that Cancer was of the world and not a curse of her family. For a Catholic to listen to her Baptist husband that she must forgive others so that she might be forgiven. After that conversation I pressed on to ask her to take Jesus as her personal Savior. I tried many times before without success, but her journey into the after life was near. It gave me peace that she accepted Jesus.