Thank you for your kind words, they mean a lot to me. I am so sorry for your loss , the pain is so bad and is something that will never go away. Like a wound that is always there and just when it may begin to scab over, its broken wide open again. Never to heal. One moment we think yeah we can do this, the next not so much. I know Ashleigh is around me, so many amazing things have happned to me to confirm it, but never the same , never as it was, you know. I will say a prayer for you , I haven't been on here a lot sometimes I just can't, but I think of everyone all the time........till we speak again, prayers for you and our angels......
It will be 2 years for me in June and I still have hard times. There are days when I would like to pull the covers up over my head and stay there all day. You are still at the beginning of this long journey. I find that the 2nd year is even harder because the reality really starts to set in. None of us should have to go through this. I truely understand how sad you are that your best friend doesn't want to talk about your son. Mine is my sister. She tells others that I don't talk to her about things but everytime I bring my son up she changes the subject so no I don't talk to her about anything anymore. I wish I could. I do have a really good friend that I can talk to but I find that most people are uncomfortable. You hang in there and keep coming here, we all love to hear about your son. God bless you.
I understand what your saying one of my sisters won't come to see me nor call she had said to one of my other sister that i just make her cry when she sees me. It will be 8 month that my son has been gone and it will never get easier.I can't get let go yet and i just want ever one to understand that it not easy for us mothers and it will never be the same with out our loved one you take care and we can cry when ever we want!!
He did come to me once already. He was surrounded by a beautiful white light and I ran to him gave him a big hug told him I love him and miss him. He said he loves me too. He also told me he can eat and drink anything he wants to and he is ok and that no one hurt him. Then my darn cat woke me up.
John had kidney problems so he could not eat and drink certain things and it drove him crazy. This dream was just days after he passed. I wish I would get another dream or a sign he is ok when i am awake. My sister had a dream that he told her he is sorry he didnt mean it and repeated it a couple times. that made me happy but yet sad becuase he is gone.
glad to hear you are keeping yourself busy. I hope you find a new place soon. I know how hard it is to remain in the house where your child passed. I dont know if or how long I can stay here. I hope and pray that my son will come to me. i think that is part of why i am still in this house.
wow it took them 20 minutes to come that is crazy. my son passed in his bedroom. he went to sleep and never woke up. it is very hard for me to walk into his room now i still see him laying in his bed passed on to the other world. I try to see him in there in a different way but it is hard. my oldest son found him. he went to ask him if he could use his gloves and got no answer at the door so he went in. Sammy came back out and said there is something wrong with John he wont move. i ran in there and sure enough he was gone. i like you called 911 anyway. my son passed dec 19, 2009.
My son also died in the house i live in. i talk about moving all the time. sometims i think i never want to move because of the memories. other times i think i cant even go in his room it hurts to much. i dont know if or how long i will stay in this house. i dont see me staying here for the rest of my life. it is very hard to deal with. I had also seen someone who reminded me of my son. he looked and smelled like him. i did not get the chance to really look at him but i would have liked to look at him a little more. we were in the store and he walked past me only for a second then he was gone. but i did the same thing as you i went to my car and cryed and cryed. I just hope this pain gets to a point where we can deal with it a little better and maybe even have some good days. take care
Dear Gregory mom. I'am very sorry to hear of the loss of your child. Do take comfort that Jehovah will restore your son to you. By means of the ressurrection hope. You see i find comfort in what the bible teaches, that Jehovah did not intend for humans to die, he originally created them to live forever on Earth. Unfortunately Adam and Eve disobeyed a simple command in the garden of Eden. ( Genesis 1:28, 2:15-17)
However the loving god that Jehovah is he made a hope, a way out for his creation. By means of the ransom sacrafice of his only begotten son " so all those exercising faith in him could gain everlasting life".
When Jesus was on earth he showed that the future ressurrection of all those in the memorial tombs was possible. He ressurrected a 12 year old girl in Luke 8:40. His friend Lazarus in John 11:11-44. And the son of a widow in Luke 7:11-17. These were examples of what will take place under God's kingdom soon to reign on Earth.
God "will wipe out every tear from their eyes and death will be no more neither will pain nor outcry be anymore. the former things of passed away." Revelation 21:3,4
I hope you find comfort in knowing, as i do, that death will soon no loner be a word in our vocabulary! You and your family are in my prayers
DEAR GREGORYS MOM:SOUNDS TO ME LIKE YOU HAVE HAD 2 VISITS FROM HEAVEN! THAT IS A WOWWWW!!!!- WHEN I GET OVERWHELMED W/ A NEW LOAD OF GRIEF HITTING ME AGAIN I DELIBERATLY CONCENTRATE ON THE VISION I HAD OF MY RYAN - WHERE HE CAME TO MY RITE SHOULDER, LOOKING SO YOUNG & HANDSOME- SO SWEETLY & IN A HEARTY / CHEERFUL VOICE HE SAID TO ME " HEY MOM" & THEN HE WAS GONE - BUT I HAD ASKED GOD TO LET ME SEE RYAN HAPPY & HE DID JUST THAT !! THAT HAS BEEN LKIE A NEW SPURT OF LIFE GIVING ENERGY TO ME EVER SINCE !! I STILL HAVE MY DIFFICULT TIMES BUT NOW I HAVE SOMETHING TO FALL BACK TO, THAT BRINGS ME GREAT PEACE .NO ONE SHUD HAVE TO GO THRU WHAT WE ARE - IT SURELY MUST BE NEXT TO DYING OURSELVES, IT HURTS SOOOO BADDDD - IN FACT IT MAY BE WORSE THAN DYING !GOD BLESS YOU DEAR - KEEP PRAYING & HANGING ON !!YOUR IN MY PRAYERS AS WELL AS ALL YOU GRIEVING MOMS & FAMILIES !!
Hi Pam, I have been OK, How have you been? Joeys 7 month Angel date is on friday, It just seems like yesterday, It is so hard for me to believe that he has been gone for 7 months...Where did that time go?
This group is growing daily and it is so heart breaking... But I just think that if we all stick together to pass on advice or just listen to eachother it might help. It is raining with thunder and lightening right now, and I have my bedroom window open so I can listen to it. I need to get out of this bed and go have a Starbucks!
Hi Pam, Janie, Rich's mom here. How are you? I was reading some of our letters from the past and you are just starting on your journey of healing. A month after Rich was gone, I couldn't even get on a site like this. I was a wreck, cried all the time did not do anything like cook or try to communicate with anyone except my mother who was 93 in a nursing home kept calling and asking me how I am. and why was it Rich and not her. She died 11 months later. But I couldn't even think or remember what I said or wanted to say. It's taken along time and I still wonder if I'm normal or not. Seems like at the 2nd anniversery of Rich's death, a peacefulness came over me, and I've accepted this is the way God wanted things to be. I never questiond God, I believe that when we're born, our life is in His book. What happens and how we live, the mistakes we make and when we die. There were alot of people that kind of stopped calling me because my life just centered on Rich and the pictures in my mind of him at the end. Now I really have to work to not see those pictures, but I think God is blocking them out of my mind for me, because I see some of the happier times. I still don't remember alot of happy times because Rich and I were kind of distant for quite a while, until he got hurt, then things just came back together for us. I loved him with my whole heart and soul. God knows that if he would have left him here, he would have been worse and
watching a young guy live like an old person in a home, would kill all of us. So He took Rich home.
Pam, continue to pray, and talk to God, you might not get an answer right away, but it will come. Write me anytime please, take care of yourself, love to you
HI, this is Pam Justins mom my son passed oct.3,08. Oh how I feel I should of stayed at Justins girlfriends I knew in my heart my baby wasn't well,and he said mom go home i'm fine I love you and i said I love you more,and kissed him bye and got the phone call my son had died,the dreaded phone call that NO parent wants,not my baby why not me. I feel like I just go through the motions and sometimes I dont even know what the heck were am I going and then I just go home and lett loose with the tears,its getting worse I want to see that smile here that laugh, fill that hug that no one else can give me,he huged with pure love. Why didnt I go over there when they called I wont ever know the real story just what they told me. He has a daughter 12 and a son 11, and his girlfriend was expecting twins a boy and girl,which he did get to the ultra sound and was soooo happy,mom wre going to have twins I will never forget that moment are the moment the twins were born on 12-26-08 on his son birthday. when they showed me those little ones i was so happy and so sad at the same time,oh how he would of been gleaming, the little girl weighed 6-15 and the boy 6-11 pretty big babys we were the talk of the hospital the grandparent with the big twins. He had already named the little boy Jansen what a name and the baby girl is Jypsy they have helped and his other ones have helped thank god I have them,they will never take his place but it does Help.Always on the third of a month it seems like its all played back in my mind,oh please its got to get easier. Sorry for writing so much just a hard night as all of us parents have, god be with you all our pain they say gets easier I just dont know when. I just have to love my other son and daughter they are so special too got to get my mind strait to love again without everyone seeing my pain. take care moms im sorry i know yall know what its like, we just get by but there always in our heart and mind no matter werw we are. JUSTIN'S MOM FOREVER
Hi Pam, I'm sorry for you today. I wish I could be with you and give you a hug. Of course we all know that will not take the pain away. Today is 2yrs that we had to have Rich admitted to hospice. This will be
a rough week for me. I'm trying not to think of the things that were happening back then. Just when I
think I'm doing ok, my heart starts to hurt so bad. I
miss him so much. As you can see. I guess it doesn't matter how long it's been. The pain will always be with us. I'm being honest with you, however time does heal to a point. But you are right
we'll never be the same again. I'll write later. if you want to write back I'll be here. Love Janie
Hi Gregorysmom, Janie here. How are you doing? I'm sure that the holidays were very hard for you and your family. We all know the pain you're feeling we either are at the same point or have been where you are. It's going on 2 yrs without Rich. Jan 9. will be 2 yrs. Sometimes I still sit back and wonder what happened, how did this happen, and how did I get through the funeral and the last 2 yrs. It's like a nightmare. But in reality I now have crossed another bridge that God helped me through this season. I celebrated Rich's life this Christmas, and New Year.
I felt alot of peace that Rich was in heaven. If you would like to write directly to me my e-mail is
firstname.lastname@example.org, under subject, write Legacy so
I don't think it's junk mail. What is your name?
A new and understanding friend, I'm here for you anytime day or night. Love & Hugs, Janie
Gregorysmom, what are you feeling? Honey I'm sorry
but yes you are still in shock. You will be for along time. Let God take control and keep praying for an
answer. How is your younger son? It's going to take
time however the pain will never be gone. I'm going
on 2 yrs Jan. 9. These next two weeks are really hard
because my son Rich, was in the hospital for 1 week
I lost my beautiful 26 year old son Gregory on Dec 2 2009 . I am still in shock, He had flu symptoms and was getting ready for work @ 6 am on Dec 2 my 13 year old son needed to go to the bathroom and banged on the door but no answer from Greg. He came to wake me and we had to unlock to the BR door and there was my baby laying on the cold floor .I took one look at him and knew he was gone but did CPR in hope that I was wrong until the EMS arrived 20 minutes later .they worked on him for 40 minutes then pronounced him dead I died a little that day too . As of now there is no cause of death .Keep me and my family in your prayers I am praying for all of us
Hi Gregorysmom, my name is Janie. what is your
precious loss that you are in this unwanted group?
I'm sorry for your loss, I'm just having a bad day and
I didn't see any comments in your wall. write back
Janie, from Brookfield, WI