My face smiled when I saw you had a message for me. Yesterday -marked the seventh month since my son passed. Tears run down my cheeks every day - I miss him dearly as I know you miss Jared. Andrel my son continues to amaze me every day- he has brought so many valuable people to my life. I search every day for answers -to why why does this happen to good people. I knew somethng horrible was going to happen the night he was hit by the drunk driver. I believe that feeling was God warning me. As I search for answers I believe God uses us to show people that he is real, that he is good and that he knows best. I believe he choose us and everyone in this situation so that we can set an example. The most horrible nightmare has become a reality for us and yet we are still hanging in there (at times I have wished to end everything) we are functioning because we have God in our lives. I believe that God chose to take my Andrel to Heaven because he was an Angel and Angels belong in Heaven....God did not answer my prayers the way I wanted them to be answered - but he answered them in the way he wanted them answered. I know one day I will know exactly why God chose this path for Andrel, my family and I.
Please don't miss-understand me I miss Andrel more than anything and I would give anything to have him back - this nightmare has torn my family and I too pieces but I do have faith we will see him again and he is helping to prepare us (my family) to make it to Heaven.
I hope you still visit this site - I read your blog you mentioned a message from the Holy Spirit, I would love to know this message. My son to was killed in a car accident 2months ago. I didnt have a dream but a horrible feeling in my stomach (words cannot describe) I knew I needed to get a hold of my son Andrel so when I reached him by cell phone I knew he would be okay but he wasnt 15 mins. later the car he was a passenger was involved in an accident that ended his life. I miss him more than anything if there is anyway I can talk to you by phone or email it would greatly be appreciated.......I miss my Andrel like you miss your Jared
Daphne, so very gald to hear from you.And so sorry I haven't gotten back with you before now.Seems every other moment is bittersweet.The seasons changeing,the way the wind blows or the way the sun shines.I lost my last grandparent she just couldn't bear Richard being there without her.I live with your pain I go over things so often.Wondering if he had gone to the left instead of the right would he still be here.I try to convince myself that if he had of stayed his life would of had him in another place .Not as close as we were then.Love Lynn
I'm not angry at God. He saved Candace fromsuffering further (from what, I don't know), I would never question God. After I die, I'lll know the reasons. She came to me and said bye, I guess, she stood behind me and rubbed my arms. I've NEVER had an experience like that. I was shocked. I know it was Candace. I know she didn't mean to die and she wanted to raise her 3 small daughters, 2 and two were 8. Not twins, 11 months apart in age.
Daphne,so very surpised when I saw there was an e-mail from legacy and it was you.I am so sorry I have not found the time to write you.You keep mentioning court.Is it over wrongful death.And you should not feel bad for counting.It was the moment that changed our life forever,we had to find a way to live again.God is good but so many things are over whelming, so hard to realize there is no control.No matter what we try to make this life,no matter how hard we try.We really have no control in the blink of an eye it's gone.
I am new to this site just found it this morning. I lost my Daughter on March 5, 2010 she was 37 years old it happened suddenly, she left a 14 year old son
for me to raise. It's been real hard trying to deal with
but I know with God I can get through it.
Daphne,thankful to hear from you.So gald to know you are pushing forward and I belivie Jared is gald you went to the party.It went better than you expected because,it was meant to be.Those that we are not sure of and causes us concern can prove to be just what we needed.Without takeing steps to find out we may miss just what we need.Mornings were terrible at frist for me,I couldn't bring my self to go to church,I couldn't keep from crying but I pushed and went after a couple of Sundays,I stiil cried some but I needed the strenght it gave me.My moms name is Margaret Knight,She not any worse or better.I feel she's giving up since Richard left and 5 months later my grandmother,her mother left us also,she has not been the same.The weather is better with every week,days are longer and warmer in the afternoons.Which with the season change it brings memories of what you would be doing.And all the good times you had.Getting older brings ends to so many things.My grandmother had 11 brother and sisters.We had huge famliy reunions at the lake .Now there is one left everyone has drifted apart.And even some of their children have left us.People don't have big families anymore.Family units don't mean the same thing any more.And it's so sad that future generations will never know the joy of haveing a family that is big enough to play a baseball game.I wanted to tell you about a web site to check into ,Daily Strenght for moms.I'm also a member there.I hear from moms every day.I think you would like it to.Take Care, Love Ya, Lynn
DAPHNE,How are you sweet lady.Seems every one at my house has been sick these last two weeks ,except Shyla my 8 year old.And now my mother is in the hosiptal.I was checking my e-mails and saw Jared on the home page of loss of a child.Wanted to know how you are and that I think of you often.Let me hear from you and about you.When I frist got a pc I could not find any memorial sites I knew they existed but i couldn't locate any sites.I tried every thing to find them every combination of words that might pull one up,but nothing.And now every thing seems to lead me to another one .Did you get the e-mail about the song Save a place for me.Hope this finds you well.Love Lynn
Hello dear friend Daphne, thank you for writing to me. I've had kind of a rough week. However when I ask God to help me or for some signs that Rich is ok.
It's surprising I always get those signs. God is the only One that we really can count on to help us. It might not be for everyone on this site, but those of us that do believe, it works. Alot of people are angry
but, since the night that Rich died, I never questioned our Lord, or asked why. It's not my place
to. You said that you knew your son was going to die
before it happened. Do you now hear Jared talk to you? or dream of him and see him? I did only once. It was beautiful, and I smiled and was so happy the whole next day. I had to call everyone and tell them.
Many years ago I did dream of Richards funeral. I actually saw the whole scene. I told him about it and he laughed. Thats all I can remember. Dear friend I hope you get some rest and peace in your heart tonight. I'll write again next week. I have my
grandchildren for the weekend. That keeps me busy.
Hugs & Prayers to you
My Dearest Kathy;
i am just a child of God who wants to serve, i don't have a ministry or a title, what Our Father has gifted me with is a heart for the young people, mine first (Jared) and as i poured into him he poured into others. I always knew Jared was blessed of God just his very birth was a blessing, just like your Jon, it's not what is on the outside that our Father looks at. When i come here and see the picture of you and Jon i am blessed, my heart sings to our Father for the wonderful work He has done in Jon's life and in your families life. I bless His Holy Name that your children have now entered into their calling, it's not the age that matters, remember the Word says "and a child shall lead them", We serve a God that knows all of our hope and dreams, our fears and misgivings, I am greatful for you and i want to encourage you to continue to minister to your family and pour into them as God pours into you and your husbands life. I don't know so i will ask you because you have been in childrens ministries for a long time, where does ministry first start? i have always beleived that it starts at home, but i have heard the scripiture used that a prophet has no honor in their own land, would you be so kind as to explain what some may mean by that because when i listen to you and now that i had raised a son that loves God and served in the church and was loving and respectful towards his mother, don't misunderstand we had our times when we disagreeded but he was respectful of me and honored me in more ways then one because he honored our Father, and your family the same is so. So, is that scripiture an excuse not to take our rightful places in the home or is it true? i must say that from me looking at the things that are in your life it does not ring true. I am glad to know that you have other children and i know it gets hard sometimes but i do know that our Father is more then willing and more then able to bring us through this time in our lives. It makes me think of gold before it is refined and then polished and then shaped or a diamond or a jewel for our Fathers crown i don't know why my thoughts turned to that but that is what i see. nevertheless God will get the glory out of our lives not that He does not there is something more that He desires of all that come here who love Him. How was your day today dearest? and praise be to God for blessing you seeds, He said that He would! is that great that He always keeps His promises!
Love you and God Bless you and your husband for allowing God to use the both of you in a awesome way, but why not? He is an awesome God. I know that sometimes i sound cornie but i am just being me.
xoxo's to you and your family
Love daphne Jared's mom forever
I'm curious, what is your calling? When Noah died my pastor told me that I would now have a ministry that I would never have wanted. This is exactly why I come so often to this group. My primary gift is teaching. I've been working in children's ministry for 31yrs. now. Praise God, I've had two children accept Jesus in the past two weeks! This is why I press on even through my pain. It blesses me to know I'm teaching them how to be prepared for this life. You my friend,are for sure ministering here to me. Music has always ministered to me and the song "Motions" by Matthew West, has challenged me to give my all in whatever I do instead of going through the motions. I know that many of us are doing just that to survive but it's the desire of my heart to get closer to the Lord, especially now for He is my Rock and my Strength. Blessing to you as you bless all of us. Hugs,Kathy
Hi Daphne, I'm so sorry for the loss of your Jared. My 2nd time around grief is only 31/2 months further around than yours(Ilost my infant son,Noah,28yrs ago.) The reality of losing Jon is sinking in more each day. I feel it the most when I have a real day or two in a row off of work. I spent a couple of hours at the cemetery on Valentine's Day, cleaning both of their headstones. I am so thankful to my ex husband for insisting that Jon be buried near my home in the same place Noah. I'm a native of Az. and as I was cleaning Noah's stone, I wondered if any of the parents with babies in the infant section still lived around here. Jon was always the reason I wanted to stay in Az. and now he still is. I hadn't gone to Noah's grave for several years but now I visit Jon's grave and then go over to Noah's. God has been so good to me. When Noah died I could never fathom what good could ever come from his death, but 1yr. later when Jason was born and later Elizabeth, and now my granddaughter, they would never have been here had Noah lived. I may have had more children but it wouldn't be them. A lot of people would think that being in a wheelchair and unable to help himself that Jon was better off dead but the majority of his life, he was happy. He loved God. I think that's what I miss the most about him not being here. He was the only one of my children that would sit and talk about the Lord with me. When he came over he would go to my church. His last 3yrs were rough but he was getting his joy back. I don't know if you've ever heard the song "Save a Place for Me'' by Matthew West but I hear it nearly everyday. It keeps me anticipating that grand reunion. I live a very stressful life so my best quiet times are at the cemetery. One day! Blessings, Kathy
Daphne,I am so very sorry for your pain,don't wait for me to ask any time you need to talk I am here.I hate to think what our pain would be with out faith,hope and love.God sents help in so many forms,it's what we do with that counts.YOU KNOW IT'S NOT THAT WE'ER MAD AT GOD.IT THE MISSING OF OUR OWN SPECIAL CHILD THAT BRINGS OUR HURT.GOD EXPECTS THAT HE KNOWS HOW MUCH WE MISS THEM.Iwas supposed to cook many,many more meals for him.There were things he'd asked me to cook I hadn't gotten around to yet.He was going to be an aweson grandfather.It was to soon .Tell me were do you work.Moveing can be great,as long as your sure and it's for the right reason.Take care Love Richard Mom
You ask how I am,and I'm sure I'm as you struggleing,pushing forward.Going over,wanting different.Really needing to understand,you can not except what you can't understand.I'm not angry and I know it was Gods plan.I'm left with such a deafing silence were once there was laughter.I thank God every night for the children I have.We talk of Richard often.There is another web site you should check out Daily Strenghth . Now tell me about you when is Jared birthday. Love,Richard Mom
Daphne,I'm good,gald to hear from you.You have been in my thoughts.I've been busy and we got a new computer,and thats been a real mess.Trying to get them wireless.And some of the equipment didn't want to inter act.And the children same to have cabin fever with all the snow we've had and no school.How are you ? How's life treating you.Happy Valentine's Day. Love, Richard Mom
Dearest Richard's Mom;
Hello, i hope today finds you in a place where you can rest and remember the joy of Richard, when i look at his picture (Richard) it makes me smile he was a joy and i look at my Jared's picture and i have a peace that they are together with all of the other children that God so loved. I know it is hard to think in that way but when i think of the fact that God shared His Heart Song with us it makes me glad. Well , the day is beginning for me did not get any sleep stayed up because it's just me! there will be days like this many more then i care for but i will enbrace the pain and let myself feel it like today there is a mixture of it. But, i am greatful for all of you and i will continue to pray for you Lynn and visit the site when i can Love you dear lady and all others that come to this site. May some peace find you for today.
Daphne,The more we talk,and the more I hear.I nbelivie with all my heart you are one of those message ,I spoke about before.I am 53 also, I wear Richards coat,I listen to his music,I have a wall with favorite pictures,books his game controler.And when I don't wear the coat it hangs there.I have a memory book that all the friends that were able signed.I want to know what your son was going to collage to be.He looks so happy, his eyes even smile and sparkle at the same time.I belivie he looks like you.Since Richard left the realest dream I had.I took his hand and said I never realized how our hands are exactly alike.He just stood holding my hand and stareing at me smileing.I have hoped to have another were it was that real.But it will happen when it's suppose to.The best message I've gotten was one Sat. night I was talking to my mother and we were going over every thing for the thousand time.I asked her do you think he realized how loved he was.And she asured me she belivied he did.The next morning I asked my husband to go to the store for me,he did.And when he returned he said look at this.On the top of a $20.00 bill he'd gotten back in changewas Richard name with a heart on each side.It was so bitter sweet,he was so wonderful.When he said Mom I had no ideal how it made my heart melt till I knew I might not ever hear it again.Talk to soon ,take care,Richard Mom
DAPHNE,Oh My Gosh! To only have one child,I know you have faith and trust and you know that JARED is in a much better life.It blew my mind that you lost your only baby.I am so very sorry.Do you have family.And tell me were you live.I am equally gald to have found you.It is such a great thing to find some one like you.Talk to you soon.Love Richard Mom