Sandra's Comments

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At 3:18pm on August 4, 2010, Melissa said…
Thank you Sandra.... your kindness is truly appreciated by me. I hope you are doing well.
Take care,
Melissa
At 3:18pm on August 4, 2010, Melissa said…
Thank you Sandra.... your kindness is truly appreciated by me. I hope you are doing well.
Take care,
Melissa
At 10:11pm on July 24, 2010, Sandra said…
A hello to everyone. Just wanted to check in and ask how everyone is doing and coping. I am a mess alot of the time and other times just sit and stare at the tv or out a window. I am oncall right now thru work so just sitting here and thought I would say hello to everyone on here, you were all on my mind. Please, lets all continue our prayers for one another....I dont know what else to do.
God's love and strenght to you all!
Sandi
At 8:40am on July 17, 2010, Sandra said…
Good morning, Randolph,
Yea, your right about reality. No matter what, we cant escape reality. It's here evryday and demands our attention! Some days though it is hard to get out of bed and try to face "reality'. I look forward to sleep because that is my escape from reality. He is coming to me now in my dreams and at least there I am spending time with him. I just wanted to check in on you and to let you know you are in my thoughts.
Hugs to you, Randolph!
Sandi
At 9:56pm on July 16, 2010, Randolph L. Schrader said…
Sandra. thank you so much for your message. It means alot to me. I am going thru so much now and the heck of it is, its me alone without my wife with me. We have that darn thing called Reality. No matter what we do, counciling,whatever, we are home alone to ponder. I cannot fit anymore into this world. But, we here on this site, care,share, and understand. Hugs to you you.Hugs are good.
At 8:12pm on July 15, 2010, Randolph L. Schrader said…
Thank you Sandra, my grandson died today about 2:14pm. With God's help he had a dream or two. Will talk later. Hugs to you. Hugs are good.
At 10:57pm on July 14, 2010, Randolph L. Schrader said…
Hi Sandra, sorry I cant chat now, my great grandson was born today and will die By Friday. I have been trying to get everyone on facebook but had to go to 2 hospitals 3 times today. I posted the info on the regular grieve site. Will chat soon. Hugs to you. Hugs are good.
At 8:31pm on July 14, 2010, Sandra said…
Ohhh Barb! My heart and prayers go out to you! I am grateful and thankful for this site too and for the people on here reaching out to everyone! THIS, is what God wants,people helping each other thru our grief and lonliness! I pray for blessings for all of you on here! Please just know how much he (God) loves us and feels our pain!
God Bless! He is carrying us as I speak!
Sandi
At 8:10pm on July 14, 2010, bc said…
Sandra, thanks for reaching out, I will def request you on Facebook. I just don't know what to do or to think, it will be one year the 5th of August that Brad left me for heaven so suddenly. I still have trouble realizing what has happened. Therapists are not helpful, I'm so glad I found this site, everyone understands and we can all help each other get through the valley. My name is Barb Chamberlain on FB so watch for my friend request. Hope to keep in touch! Hugs!
Barb
At 8:31am on July 14, 2010, Virginia said…
Hi Sandra,I was wondering how your first day back to work went I know it must have been very hard. I was greatfull I was retired but now wish I had something to do to distract me. I hope you can talk to someone there who understands, God Bless
At 9:42pm on July 13, 2010, bc said…
Hugs for you too Sandra! We all need hugs. Are you on facebook?
At 9:41pm on July 13, 2010, bc said…
Sandra, you have a lot of good things to say, we are the only ones who can understand the feelings we are going through. As I don't have any friends I'm hoping to find some here that know what I'm going through. I was so close to the edge before I found all of you, now maybe I'll have a chance before I go completely over! I am so alone, but now I can connect with all of you. Thanks everyone for being there!
Barb
At 12:27am on July 12, 2010, Randolph L. Schrader said…
Hi Sandra, I'm fairing as well as I can. I hope you can function as I know it hasn't been very long for you. I was numb and in shock for over 3 months staying at my daughters till I could get back on my feet and come back to my house.I wish that I could tell you it will get better and that everything is ok but I cant. I have other issues surrounding me concerning deaths and dying of my family as we speak. This is not helping me.No matter what Sandra, only you will be able to handle your new life. There is nothing I can say for we have the reality of a loss and it will never go away.Everything I do is doing it alone. Everyone I see is seeing it alone.Someone said, on this site, we are jealous. And she is right. We are jealous because we see everyone with someone, doing things together,kids, a life, making their own history.Time cant heal much. What can it heal? I have so much sadness and no life, I can only share the grief with all of us on this site. I will understand EVERYTHING and can lend an ear. We have to try to endure and remember thru us they will live on.I,myself, am no longer a useful man and human being. I was a one woman guy for over 44 years and she is gone. I tell you that I am no good without the support of my wife backing me up or telling me to ease off. Remember its a long road and it wont be easy. We are all here for you. Wish I could tell you good or happy. I can give you hugs. Hugs are good.Thinking of you and will always be here for anything you want to share and say.Together all of us will be pulling for each other.You are not alone. God will help share with you your burdens.
At 6:45pm on July 11, 2010, Sandra said…
I just want to send out a BIG hug to Randolph and everyone else on here who is suffering from broken hearts and lonliness from losing someone so dear and special to them! Whether it be a spouse,significant other,sibling,child,friend,beloved pet,parent the list goes on! Live,Love,Laugh....even when its hard to do just that!
At 12:06am on July 10, 2010, Randolph L. Schrader said…
Hi Sandra. Thank you for your support. Life indeed is ironic. I lost my best friend and my wife lost her sister(ovarian cancer) on a July 4 and we had a granddaughter born on the same 4th of July.As i speak, I have 3 aunts and uncles that are dying and an unborn great granson who will not make it to birth in Sept..If he does make it to birth chances are he wont live long. My stepfather of 60 years died last Dec. My plate is very full of death and dying. That is why I hope I can bring some kind comfort to all. Lord knows, I need it. It is more than one can bare. I have heard that God will share in your burden to keep the load bearable for you. I have a heavy load though. The biggest load is not having my wife to be with me. She was my pal.I was a one woman guy.Your road will be long and hard. No matter where you can find comfort and ease for a time, when you go home, alone, reality sets in and you are all alone for your pain and agony.Only you can deal with it. Only you can decide on things. Good or bad,silly and crazy at times,stupid and absentminded even, you will go thru it all.I am tired, beat up, worn out and heavily scarred.I have lost my heart, spirit and soul.I dont belong anywhere or fit in anymore and that eats at me.My g-son planted daisies in her garden, to give her a daisy a day. They now just sprouted. Cool. I have her singing a song on CD and in my computer from a kareoke night where we were recorded. She had a beautiful voice.She was an organ donor and I was informed that she had helped over 75 people. WOW. I am saving up money to spread her ashes in Colorado where we lived for ten years. that will be the final goodbye and finality that I will hate.Sorry to hog the posting of this. Now you know about me.Express all you want about you and your loved one. I and all of us do this on this site.It helps to know what the others are going thru amid are grief. Hugs to you. Hugs are good.
At 10:16pm on July 9, 2010, Connie said…
Sandra, I am so very sorry for your loss. If you feel like screaming, do it! Do anything that helps you cope with the terrible fate you have been dealt. I lost my husband 8 months ago today and I still feel like screaming. I still cry at random times. I can be driving and just start to cry. I miss him so very much that my heart is broken. I live only for the day that I will be reunited with him. I hope that your pain will subside with time. They say that it does but I haven't experienced that yet. I will remember you in my prayers.
At 7:57pm on July 9, 2010, Randolph L. Schrader said…
Hi Sandra, I will post better later as I am tied down right now with errands. We are all here for you and understand the things that we are facing. My problem is that I probably wont be of much use because I died when my wife died. After 16 months I have become harder but I am still devistated with my "new life" and will not ever be the same. You will find that all of us have these problems of coping and sadness, ect., and that we can share together. For only we understand and realize the situation we all face. Hugs to you. Hugs are good. Am so sorry for your loss. I wish it could be okay for you. We must find our own way and by sharing on this site, we can better understand and not feel bad about what we say and feel.
At 5:28pm on July 9, 2010, Gail said…
I know, I see him sitting at the table playing around on his laptop..his was re-formatting it..and I can still see him walking up those stairs with it under his arm..it still sits on the stand in our room just as he left it....I can't even sleep in there right now..I just wish I knew WHY..he was just too young, just 47 years old... and we had so much planned for our future..I have never loved anyone as deeply as I loved him and don't imagine I ever will again...I'm so lonely without him..I just pray that with time my broken heart will heal and this ache will ease..and yours as well...stay strong..one day at a time
At 3:47pm on July 9, 2010, Melissa said…
Sandra & Gail... I know how you both feel. Gail, my husband of 33 years died the same as your husband. one minute we are walking into the house together chatting.. then he fell back into my arms and died. no warnings - nothing. it will be one year on july 14... it has been a horrible 12 months. i am still very numb. we have 3 children in the 20's and words can not describe the pain i feel for them as well. i stay strong for them. i am not sure if that is good or bad. please keep the faith and don't let go... thinking of you and praying for you.
At 7:37am on July 9, 2010, Gail said…
Dear Sandra..i know exactly how you feel..my husband just died June 28 /2010...sudden cardiac arrest, one minute I watched him walk upstairs, laptop under his arm..and the next i find him collapsed face down on the bathroom floor only minutes later..he was already gone..no warning , no nothing..gone just like that. I am so devastated, and I too have those moments where I am going all just fine and then out of no where I start to cry and scream....I'm going back to work this Tuesday, and the worst part about that is that I work from home, I am a hairstylist and we just built a salon in our new home for me..so really I can't even escape here......but you know, deep down in my heart I know that I will make it through this and these emotions we are feeling are quite normal and necessary to lead us down the road to recovery. Even if you do break down at work, it's o.k....there is no wrong time or right time..it will just happen...just know that you are not alone, there are others like myself who know exactly what you are going through..all the best to you..

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