My heart goes out to you. I don't know if husbands are missed more or less than kind, live-at-home sons, but my only 'close' family now, a daughter, is 3,000 miles away. I know what you mean about lonely days.
Best wishes, Marlena. Thank God and Tami for this site!
Dear Marlena, So nice to see that unlike me, you have not visited here in a long, long while. This is excellent news I believe this means your life is full. I imagine your son may be a senior this year? And perhaps you have a new career now? Perhaps new relationships or grandchildren? Regardless, I wish you all the best. I am fine, but do have moments & on occasion still come here for solace. Do not post on the wall but relieve pent up feelings in the Blog spot on our page. Please share a word with me & catch me up to date on how it is going with you- I'd love to know. You & others here are special to me. You all helped me through the most painful event of my existence & I am forever thankful. Best Wishes Always, Christy
I remember reading that your niece was getting married on 12-12-12 and I hope everything was perfect for her. Happy events put the heartbreak on the back burner for a while. I try to read as many of the blogs and comments that I can when I am unable to sleep or the panicky feeling and heaviness in my chest get to be too much to take. I find some relief in reading here and knowing others feel exactly what I am feeling though they are so much more articulate in expressing their feelings.
From reading, you and Christy have accomplished much and are able to function much better since losing your beloved spouses. I can only hope that time will let me get on with any kind of life for I am still at the point where I want to be with her again. There just does not seem to be any purpose or future in life without her by my side.
I hope all who have been here for a long time continue to come back on once in a while to share their grief and the ways they are healing because it does give those who have recent losses some insight and relief. God bless you and your family during these trying times.
I suppose you are busy with your daughters wedding; I know it is supposed to be in Oct. but don't know the exact date. I hope it is all she dreamed of & more!
Life for me is as busy as yours sounds. I am taking just 1 class now & hoping the other will be given next semester so I can graduate. My regular job is the same & the npo is consuming every moment I can spare! We did purchase meal plans for the 2 students I mentioned before. On the anniversary of Larry's death the Atlanta news interviewed me about the charity in his memory which lead to newspaper stories & a business partner from a snack company in Manhattan, N.Y.! Then this past friday, I gave a presentation to rec've a grant from General Mills (Cereal). It was frightening but a huge opportunity/ blessing. In addition to these things, I also keep my 2 yr old granddaughter after work while my daughter works. They live with me & this child is my joy!
As you know, better than most, I still miss my husband with every breathe. I still (after 2 yrs) feel as if he's just away- like gone to war or something, & that he'll be home soon. Crazy, but that's really how I feel.
I hope you are moving forward in a positive direction in all aspects of life & I sure hope love finds you (again) in some miraculous way when you are ready to receive it.
I don't know if you will ever get this messg. and a part of me hopes you won't- that will mean you have moved beyond this place. I come back every few months it looks like, although to me it feels as if I have been away longer. I think of you & others here often though & say a prayer for you & your families. I was curious as to if you were using your degree or not? I should be finishing mine now, but my school is not offering the 2 courses I need to graduate until Spring semester 2013! I have done all I can to get help with this, but as of this a.m. have accepted it for what is - out of my hands. Meanwhile, the NPO I started in Larry's name is growing. We received our Federal tax exception status in Feb. & were given the names of 2 deserving students in need of our services this wk. Both recently lost their mothers & attending college in the Fall- one at Gordon-a small college nearby, and the other is a football player going to Morehouse in Atlanta! I am praying we will find the resources to help them both.
It is so nice to hear from you. Yes, it has been hard, especially leading up to this past weekend but I'm o.k. I took the coward's way out friday & stayed home, stayed in bed as long as I could & never looked at a clock all weekend. I did not want to be aware of that time at all. I was constantly fighting thinking about the events of that day last year. It was too horrible then and it is too horrible to repeat ever again in my mind. Instead my son who is 25 yrs. went w/ me to the Farmers Mrkt in Atlanta & we did some other side stops to eat & bought him some badly needed shoes. It was a beautiful day & it was nice to be with him- it kept me distracted. So you & Nick just got back from Canada? Is that something you have done before? I think it would be awesome to take a train trip through some part of Canada & see the snow/wilderness. I am glad to hear you are enjoying getting out some now. Our lives really can become quite different than what we are used to.
The foundation could be a full time job! Please check us out on Facebook (if you go there)by typing in the entire thing, or copy paste from here: Larry D. Bradley Foundation "Food for Thought" and "LIKE" if you agree with what we are about. We just made this pg & we need to attract some attention through people liking it. Also, you can visit our website at www.larrydbradleyfoundation.org
I try to keep in touch w/ my stepson but it's not easy. He has only been to visit once all summer - only maybe three or four tops in the past year, but each time we have such a good time. He always says he wants to live with us. He has his 1st middle-school football game today so my son Zach & I are going to rush after work & try to catch some of it.
Marlena, thanks for the birthday wishes. I did have a good day with my daughter and sil. I did think about my wonderful Waymon and all the good birthdays we had spent together, shed some tears but also had some very happy memories. Hope you have a good day and hugs to you.
Marlena, Even though last week was a difficult I made it through and things are better this week. Hope you are having an okay week. Just wanted to check in and let you know I am okay and as always you are in my prayers.
Marlena, well I made it through Waymon's birthday. i shed many tears but letting it go does seem to help. I took a balloon to the cemetary and left it there with him last night. This morning I went by and released the balloon so it could go up toward the Heavens and hopefully it will get close enough for him to see it. I am so thankful for all the birthdays that we did share together and for all the wonderful memories that I have. Hope the weather gets better there. We have had some nice warm days for a change. Hope you have a good day and as always you are in my prayers.
I just read your story on the profile page and it was very touching. I went through some similar situations with my wife being in ICU for 3 weeks in 2009, she recovered only to come home and then get very ill and pass away 2 moths later. I had retired from my PD job 8 years ago,then started a new job, I was going to work unitl 2007, them we would start having some fun. In 2007 the Drs told us her tumors had become cancer,I stopped working and spent the next 3 years with my wife at doctors and hospitals. The only thing that keeps me going are our grandchildren, and knowing that my wife Karen did at least get to know them before she passed. I guess they sayin If only we knew is true, but I guees for some reason this is Gods plan for us. Stay well, Jerry.
Marlena, please forgive me for misspelling your name each time I have commented to you. Sometimes my mind just doesn't see things the way it is supposed to. Again I apoligize and i hope you are having a good day.
Thank you Marlena. It's so great to come here & have people "get it." There is so much more to this than people would imagine & all we can do is try to carry on as best as possible. I'm confident that something wonderful is in store for Nick as he gets his license. I told Nahjay not to be sad (re: repo) that anything we are meant to have, we will have & that God will provide something else, maybe even better.
Hi Marlene, Just wanted to check on you and Amanda and see how you are both doing. I know that when your child hurts you hurt too. I am doing okay just wish this Valentine's Day thing would be over. Everywhere you look they are advertising it. It just keeps reminding me that I am no longer a couple. It seems kind of like just rubbing salt into a wound. i know I am just feeling sorry for myself and sould be happy for all the people out there who will enjoy Valentine's Day. Thanks for listening. Hugs to you and I will keep you both in my prayers.
Marlene, it was a good feeling to know that I could be alone and not be afraid. You are right, that is another 1st down and sometimes the anticipation is worse than the actual event. I have had some good days in the last week so i am worried a little that I am going to take some steps backward soon. There I go again anticipating the worse instead of hoping for the best. I am going to keep trying to move forward though. Thanks for listening. Hugs to you.
Marlene, wanted to let you know that I made it through the week-end okay. I had some sad teary moments but all in all it was not near as bad as I had anticipated.
I was very glad when my kids got home yesterday but at least now I can be stay a night by myself and not be afraid. I knew that God and my Waymon were both right there with me and i know he would be proud of me because he always worried about me being alone. Hope you have a good day.
Hi Marlena. Thank you for responding to my posting. I will continue to read the postings on the site and may be able to add some insights. I was soo sad and lonely and useless. Now I have someone with me who truely understands. We will never forget our lives with our spouses nor their memories. Thru us, they will always be here. Hugs to you. Hugs are good.
Hi Marlena, Thank you, yes it's Randy lol I figured people who were posting when we were would figure it out, although Mary figured it out on facebook because my friends posted pictures when he was at my house for thanksgiving lol. We are doing great and adjusting pretty good, it is a very comfortable and careing relationship with the most wonderfull hugs lol. Thanks,Hugs to you