Marlena's Comments

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At 11:52am on December 21, 2010, Carrie L said…

Hi Marlena Your story is very hearttouching thank you. I am just passing these days in a different way than ever before. Mourning like I never thought I would have to. love your kids... I wish he could have been there you had so much much love to you at christmas and new years carrie L

At 9:02pm on November 8, 2010, Susan Mayer said…
Hi Marlena,

Thank you for your wonderful note. You're right, I wouldn't trade the special love Steve and I shared, even though it makes the current passage more difficult. I had a "saying good-bye" dream the other night. Not a literal good-bye, but that's how it felt to me, and my therapist concurred. I understand grief is a series of good-byes, but I hate the thought of saying good-bye to Steve. I suppose that's typical in the early stages, but just thinking about it hurts. Oddly, it hurts in sort of a good way - not sure I know what I mean exactly. It's that there's something, oh, wholesome and real about the pain. Don't know if that makes any sense or if you experienced anything similar as time went on.

Anyway, thanks again for your note. It made me feel a bit better.

Susan
At 7:29am on November 6, 2010, Virginia said…
Hi Marlena, Thank you for your concern. I have been having alot of problems trying to get on the site it kept telling me i've been removed and blocked i don't know what was going on but at least i'm able to get back on now. I have been doing good trying to move thru the next phase of life i'm at a good place for now and hope it will continue. i have alot of catching up on here i don't know where to start but a few have wrote me and i'm starting there lol. I hope you are doing ok as best you can. thanks for caring and thinking about me. hugs to you.
At 8:19pm on November 5, 2010, Susan Mayer said…
Hi Marlena - Thank you so much for sharing your story and a little bit of your Bunzy with the rest of us. I lost my Steve in an accident, too, but he was killed immediately. No chance to say good-bye. That was only two months ago, so I have the long road ahead of me. Your blog posts give me some hope for getting through the coming months and years.

Steve and I also had a wonderful relationship. A friend commented to me, "you didn't just have a good marriage; you had a little bit of magic." Yes, we did. That makes the loss so much harder to bear, doesn't it? Steve was the love of my life, he spoiled me (as your Bunzy did you), and I miss him terribly.

I wish you the best; thanks for listening and sharing. Hugs.
At 8:18am on October 28, 2010, kathy obiedzinski said…
thank you very much marlena it was nice to be part of this site. i also wish you the best in life hugs
At 6:36pm on October 22, 2010, Randolph L. Schrader said…
Thank you Marlena for your kindness. My aunt has just passed away so I am not at my best right now. Too many people have died since LouAnn died and I am so alone, not having LouAnn to share with me. I am still not over her being gone after 44 years. Life keeps beating me down. Will talk later. Hugs to you. Hugs are good.
At 6:36pm on October 22, 2010, Randolph L. Schrader said…
Thank you Marlena for your kindness. My aunt has just passed away so I am not at my best right now. Too many people have died since LouAnn died and I am so alone, not having LouAnn to share with me. I am still not over her being gone after 44 years. Life keeps beating me down. Will talk later. Hugs to you. Hugs are good.
At 5:29pm on October 19, 2010, Linda O'Connor said…
Wow, Marlena, I love your story. It had to be a really trying time to loose someone so young & full of life. I've sure your daughters and son will be ok, as they have you, and you seem to be a very strong person. So very glad we have become friends on this site. This site has done more for me than anything else in the world. It is a life saver, isn't it! All the wonderful people. God is good to us for letting us find each other.
At 7:03am on October 19, 2010, Randolph L. Schrader said…
Thank you Marlena, I need support and caring from you and all my friends here. I too, am here for everyone. I do wish for that "magic wand". Hugs to you. Hugs are good.
At 7:03am on October 19, 2010, Randolph L. Schrader said…
Thank you Marlena, I need support and caring from you and all my friends here. I too, am here for everyone. I do wish for that "magic wand". Hugs to you. Hugs are good.
At 7:23am on October 18, 2010, Randolph L. Schrader said…
Thank you Marlena, am always thinking of you also and to all of our group. Life keeps kicking me down deeper and deeper. Hugs to you. Hugs are good.
At 7:26am on October 3, 2010, Doug Spencer said…
Thank you. I did find the pictures, and it was at the right time. In fact it was almost as though I were being taught a lesson about forcing things to happen on my schedule. The harder I looked, the more frustrated I became. It was one more thing - a big thing at the time - that was out of my control. But it was like a voice came to me and told me to allow things to happen in their own time.

Thank you for you kind words.
At 12:29pm on August 26, 2010, kathy obiedzinski said…
marlena: it truly wish you luck in your future i think you are doing the right thing for yourself. there is nothing wrong wanting to go home at night to sleep i sleep in george computer room sometimes when i need to feel safe when i feel i could also have a good night sleep i go there. please stay on the site even though it is no all the time it helps
At 10:22am on August 19, 2010, kathy obiedzinski said…
marlena: this post went something like this i wanted to hear my angels voice again so i look on the computer under his last job becaue he was had his own phone at work i was racketing my brains to see if i could find it i look in the phone directroy at his job but nothing came up for employees tele # i went home that night and was very angry still racking my brains out to see how i can hear his voice so when i went to bed i remembered i still had his wallet in my file cabinet that morning i went directly to the file cabinet and pulled the wallet out i took everything out could not find it then i found a small piece of paper folder i opened it and there was 3 phone # 2 doctors name and next to a number was written me i called the me # and lord and behold it was my angel speaking i put it in my cell phone and called it yesterday and last night i could not have him here with me but i do have something still of him my husband was a smoker so the wallet smelled like smoke but i did not care i now can listen to him also my grandaughter is in a play this saturday which i am going to see she was suppose to be a tree with a few lines she called me and told me she is now going to be a flower and have more lines i never felt better in my life hope you get this i called him this morning and listen to his voice mail someone told me to get a memory chip so this way if his job takes his voice off so this was my good luck finally take care
At 7:39am on August 13, 2010, Kim said…
I read your post and I am sorry for your loss. I do know what you are going through. My husband died at only 40 from cancer on June 1 2010. We were together for 20 years. He was my everything. I don't have a life without him and I do not know how to move forward. I just make myself get out of bed and exist. I pray to god all the time and hope he gives me strength to make it through each day. It seems like it was only 6 months ago that my husband said to me (even though it was 15 years ago) "Kim, in 15 years our son will be 18 and he will not need us as much and we will have our whole lives together". Well, it was all taken away from us and I am so angry all my dreams are gone. I too live in upstate NY so if you ever need a friend I am here, just let me know.
Take Care,
Kim
At 7:39am on August 13, 2010, Kim said…
I read your post and I am sorry for your loss. I do know what you are going through. My husband died at only 40 from cancer on June 1 2010. We were together for 20 years. He was my everything. I don't have a life without him and I do not know how to move forward. I just make myself get out of bed and exist. I pray to god all the time and hope he gives me strength to make it through each day. It seems like it was only 6 months ago that my husband said to me (even though it was 15 years ago) "Kim, in 15 years our son will be 18 and he will not need us as much and we will have our whole lives together". Well, it was all taken away from us and I am so angry all my dreams are gone. I too live in upstate NY so if you ever need a friend I am here, just let me know.
Take Care,
Kim
At 3:30pm on July 14, 2010, Christine Naylor said…
I was reading your post and I just lost my husband on June 2, 2010, and his name was Tom also. I am so sorry for your loss, but I feel the same way you do. We was suppose to grow old together and watch out son grow up. We had all these plans that we wanted to do with our son and now I have to do them alone with him. Tom was suppose to be here when our son started to school next year but he will not be here to see that. I feel so sorry for our son have to grow up with out his Daddy but we will be okay I hope. We just have to get through this first year.
At 1:49pm on December 30, 2009, Marlena said…
Now that Tom is gone I have to figure out how I am going to handle the rest of my life. There is a long time until I can retire. So, I've decided to go back to school. It's been 27 years since I've been in school, but so far so good...grades just came in and I have a 4.0! Tom is my inspiration. I do everything that I do because I want to honor him and make him proud of me. I earned a full scholarship by entering an essay contest, of course the essay is about Tom. They have put my scholarship in the empowerment tour website. Here it is ....
http://www.elearners.com/careerstimuluspackage/scholarship-recipients/bryant-stratton-college/career-stimulus-package-scholarship-recipient-marlena-unz-parish-ny/
At 8:26pm on December 27, 2009, Marlena said…
A slideshow of Tom.

http://www.onetruemedia.com/shared?p=a14ff5318b4ac01f1312de&skin_id=1901
At 11:31pm on October 16, 2009, Karen Mitchell said…
Marlena, I feel your pain! I too lost my husband this year in March. He had pancreatic cancer, so we knew the worst was to come, but we did have some time to prepare, financially. So that helps, plus I am a CT tech at our local hospital, and I make a good wage. But I know the loneliness and I too had twin grand-daughters born 3 weeks after he died. They are a joy to me, but as you said, we were going to be grandparents together! It's hard to find your place in this world. I'll get a day off work and I don't know what to do with myself. My kids live too far away to just stop over. I really need someone to talk to and give me some direction. I feel kind of lost. Just wandering around. Most of our friends are couples, so if I am invited to get with them, I feel like a 3rd wheel. So many things have changed, but it is hard to move on.
Again - so sorry for your loss. I would love to chat anytime. Karen

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