Fernandohulya's Comments

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At 1:50pm on October 6, 2010, Randolph L. Schrader said…
this is a test only.
At 1:47pm on October 6, 2010, Randolph L. Schrader said…
This is a test only Hulya.
At 10:09am on September 16, 2010, Basia said…
Hi, I hope you are ok. And that your children are doing ok. My oldest daughter (15) has completely shut down. She won't mention her Dad and will walk out of the room if he's talked about. My boys are managing and sometimes will talk about their Dad but not often. My youngest daughter is doing better (i think anyways, but i am not an expert). We were watching tv the other day and there was a scene where a grown woman was calling her dad and my daughter said
"she too old to have a dad". She is so heartbroken, she was her dad's "monkey".
And myself , i am not doing much, just crying for hours, the pain doesn't go away, it just gets worse.
Everything is so hard. In August it was Terry's 43rd birthday. He wanted an itouch for his birthday. He couldn't wait so he bought me one for my birthday and then he used it most of the time.LOL
Our anniversary is next month. That will be hard.
Anyways , sorry for rumbling on. I am thinking of you and your family. love and hugs.
At 12:06am on September 16, 2010, Hurting said…
I will pray for you. My oldest son is so angry and was asking me how come all my friends have dad and I don't. My youngest one will come in my room and tell me quietly, 'Mom, I miss dad'. What do I say I am missing him too. I had gone for counselling after 8 weeks but that time it was too raw. Tell me how it works for you and then I will think about it too.
At 6:57pm on September 10, 2010, Hurting said…
How are you doing?
At 7:33pm on August 25, 2010, Basia said…
Hope you and your children are holding up somehow today on this hard day. Stay strong. Stand together.
At 8:17am on August 25, 2010, Hurting said…
Fernandohulya Hi! I know today is very tough but hang on there. I will be thinking of you and sending some strength your way.
At 9:29pm on August 24, 2010, Hurting said…
Fernandohulya Hi! I have been away for a month. Went back home to take my husband's ashes to holy river. I met his relatives back home who are a lot better then his family here. They all actually hurt with me and cried with me. Here my brother in laws and my father in law that my husband supported for all those years are all living for today. My father in law (90 years old) didn't want to accompany me because he was scared that he would die. So it was just my kids and I. We went to all his places from his childhood till he came here. We met all his friends and just talked about him. There he was everywhere and here I feel so alone.
At 6:50pm on August 23, 2010, Basia said…
Thinking of you. Hope you and your children are doing better day by day.
At 7:24pm on August 20, 2010, Randolph L. Schrader said…
Hi Hulya, daughter is fine and back to her own ways. Havent seen her in a month. I guess she is avoiding me. Things are not okay. As you very well know, without our spouse we are not okay.Hugs to you.Hugs are good.
At 10:07am on August 17, 2010, Jerry said…
I have done a lot of reading that states they may have a cure for cancer,somethings that are not so expensive, such as appricot seeds. But they dont want to let us know,because what would all the hospitals,Dr.'s and drug companies do without this business. I was somewhat lucky that I had good medical insurance, since the bills fo my wife drugs would have put me in the poorhouse for sure. If I had it to do over again, I dont think I would have opted for the chemo, it may have bought her some time but the quality of life was not there.
At 7:09pm on August 16, 2010, Jerry said…
I agree,the Dr.'s are in it for the money and glory. When they found out the treatment wasn't working they dropped us like a hot potatoe
At 7:09pm on August 16, 2010, Jerry said…
I agree,the Dr.'s are in it for the money and glory. When they found out the treatment wasn't working they dropped us like a hot potatoe
At 7:06pm on August 16, 2010, Jerry said…
Well I am here in the US,went to one of the best hospitals in NYC to seek treatment for my wife Karens cancer. All I can say is that after going through the ordeal she went through, chemo,then a month in the hospital due to swine flu, caused by her imune system being weakend by the chemo, then a month of radiation, all to no avail. I have lost my faith in Dr's.
At 7:06pm on August 16, 2010, Jerry said…
Well I am here in the US,went to one of the best hospitals in NYC to seek treatment for my wife Karens cancer. All I can say is that after going through the ordeal she went through, chemo,then a month in the hospital due to swine flu, caused by her imune system being weakend by the chemo, then a month of radiation, all to no avail. I have lost my faith in Dr's.
At 6:02pm on August 14, 2010, Basia said…
Hello fernandohulya, how are you and the kids doing? I have been away for a bit and had no computer with me. I hope that you are doing better. I thought things were getting better for me but in the last week I am just falling apart . I don't know why. Hugs and love to you . Basia
At 4:46pm on July 16, 2010, Randolph L. Schrader said…
Thank you fernandohulya for your kind message.I tried to send you a longer message but I guess the computer ate it up.Will chat later. Hugs to you. Hugs are good.
At 4:37pm on July 16, 2010, Randolph L. Schrader said…
Thank you fernandohulya for your thoughtful message. I am completely exhausted from 3 days of driving,trying to get a photo loaded next to my name,trying to get the online chat going and trying to get the facebook thing on.Got it all done though. Bits and pieces and here and there. It is very painful to go through everything without my wife and it is killing me. Hugs to you.Hugs are good.
At 11:12pm on July 12, 2010, Hurting said…
What right does he have legally to stay with you guys? If you don't feel safe call the law. I think this is the worst thing to happen at this time. For this you need legal advice, try legal aid or something similar that you have in your country.
At 6:33pm on July 11, 2010, Hurting said…
Fernandohulya, I will tell you one thing...Since my husband is gone I haven't dreamt about him even for a day. I can feel as if he is hurting because he didn't get a chance to say good bye or prepare me and the children. My oldest son has dreamt about him once. In his dreams his dad was in the living room with his mom and 2 yr old child (his mom passed away in 1999, and I found out that his 2 yr old brother had died because of some sickness) My son knows about his grandma but not about 2 yr old child. Some people will say its imagination, some would say whatever. I feel that my husband is connected most with our firstborn. I think that my pain is in the way of our connecting for now. I try not to cry in front of my children anymore because it is tough for them. I should now be taking care of them. All I can say is try to be strong. Hurt for him, miss him but love his children. If you hug them now, you are hugging him too.

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