Thank you Connie. My family and I KNOW that my wife elbowed all of the angels out of the way to take her great grandson into her arms into heaven. Wont have time to be on puter much as my wife's sister and husband are here for a week from Vegas for their family reunion. We never went to that but I still have to deal with their visiting. I dread it very much.I wish so to die and get out of this useless life I am in. Been helping driving to hospitals for 3 days now and Friday is funeral arrangement day for the baby.Hugs to you. Hugs are good.
connie: i called you last night i left a message to see how you are doing i called about 6:30 hope everything is ok i wish suzanne many blessing the problems she is having i hope everything goes ok for her
Thanks Connie, we will get in touch and talk, Lord knows we need to speak with a real person who knows what we are feeling. My email is: firstname.lastname@example.org. My cell is: 414-852-3422, call if you need to talk. Where are you from?
Bless you for reaching out to me, Hugs!!
I am truly sorry for your loss. I try so hard to think of something to write on here to lift everyone's spirit but my mind goes blank and all I can think of is God. At times it doesnt feel like he is with us,especially when we slip back down into our darkest moments and there are alot of them but I know that he is. I believe we have to go to those dark moments and release all of that pain and anguish. No matter what we do to release it it has to be let out! If not, then we surely wont survive what has happened. When I lost my sister 4 yrs ago that was the hardest thing me and my family ever had to endure(was my parents 2nd child that they had to bury)and it took a very long time to be able just to talk about her without going nuts! 8 mths isnt that long and eight mths after that will not be that long but I promise you....it will get better! Cling to God and know how much he loves you! I am praying for you, Connie!
Hi Connie, Thank you for thinking of me. I still check in every day. Sometimes I reply to others and when I need to I will still post. I remember you in my thoughts and daily prayers. You are so thoughtful. I hope you are doing ok too.
Thank you Connie. Yeah we can live thru anything. But alone now, there is a big differance, Certainly things will never be the same. Maybe we will meet up someday. I'm sure the angels will see to it. I made a note to them LOL. ENJOY THE DAY !! Hugs to you. Hugs are good.
Thank you Connie. Yeah, I did the same things for my wife. Taking her everywhere with me. Taking her to the drs. Getting her meds, ect.. She was my PRIORITY and she came first and always will. I know that thru me she will still be here and remembered. I always told her, "its me and you kid". I still say it to her every night. Because thru thick and thin, it was always the two of us that you could count on.I know all of us here understand each other and that is of great comfort.I am so lost,empty,lonely,plus all of the other things, it is so unbearable.Cant wait for my time to come.God bless you and I hope you can be at ease soon. At least a little. Hugs to you. Hugs are good.
I stayed in all day which I was glad to do because I'm so deeply depressed and sad and wouldn't want to hold in my tears yet I don't like it when I cry either. It's so hard. I have completely stopped cooking as I just have yogurt or salad and every time I look at anything I'm reminded of using everything I used to use when Dan used to be here. When the tears start and the feeling doesn't go away I just don't know what to do. Even putting laundry away, or dressing the bed, or using a can opener, I have calmed down somewhat by now but I do really appreciate your reply, and I am so glad to have those like you who understand. The pain in my heart is still there, but I have to remind myself it does go away. Thanks again for your support, it makes life more bearable and I hope you are doing and feeling better too.
Even through my sorrow I also feel gladness that you are in my life to let me know to keep posting because I would really be a basket case if I couldn't let out my thoughts. Some people say at the Hospice grief meetings that they feel they are home. But it is right here that I feel I am at home and you helped me to feel that way. It feels good to have friends like you who 'get it' because I don't even tell my 2 adult sons what I'm going through. I fear they wouldn't 'get it' as caring as they are and that I may make them both not know what to do and feel helpless. I am so deeply sad but understanding friends are like gold to me at this time. Thank you and God bless you.
Connie, dont tell anyone that I am a nice man LOL, just kidding.Isnt it amazing what we experience to make us realize how awful a loss is and what it does mean to us later on in life. I guess the degree of our loss defines it. We take it with our grain of salt until it starts to edge closer and closer to us. We can now realize the extent of the loss and what the actual cost has been to real people, our friends and to our families. The loss of my wife of 44 plus years is undeniably the worst. My friend, lover, mother of my children, my pal is gone.My life is entirely over now and I do know what death brings to us. Loneliness and doing everything alone is unbearable. I see life now and see that I am alone in it and it kills me.All the people who have someone with them, but not you.Yes, I see what other people went thru and truly,today, at this very moment,know what they felt like. Hug to you. Hugs are good.
Thank you Connie. I know about the day being a bad day. All days are bad now but some days are badder. It will never be the same. I can say , by us still being here, they will still be with us. Not physically, bummer, but our loved ones will be remembered thru us. Kids today are pathetic with their relationships and marriages. I cant do anything at all, without my wife, everything just has no meaning. Hug to you. Hugs are good.
Thank you Connie. The daisies blooming was a great happening. Not many "good" days but this was a good one. Yes, I get signs from up above. I miss my wife sooo much and I died when she died.She died suddenly and I had no time to prepare for it. But, there was no regrets and nothing needed to be said as we were one. Living alone now is not what I want, so I'll just go on as my zombie self. Hug to you. Hugs are good.
Thank you for asking about me and your thoughts are appreciated. I have had things I needed to do and family events which left less time to post but I still check in and I replied to a post the other day. I hope you are doing ok. I'll still come here for this is where I feel comfortable. It helps that you listen to my need for venting my thoughts. Thanks again.
Thank you for your note. The chaplain from hospice visited last week. He told me that I have now been through all the "firsts"... his birthday-5/24; my birthday-6/11; wedding anniversary-6/8; and his death 6/20. Seems with each I miss him just a little more! We did everything together--fishing, hunting, shopping, cooking-anything! He was such a great guy and I am so very blessed to have had him in my life. I guess the strong love is why we feel such grief. Please know that my heart also goes out to you. I had previously lost both my parents, but you can never imagine how losing a love feels until you lose your mate!! I didn't realize how very hard it would be. Thank you for your kindness and I'm here anytime you need to talk. I know that helps at times! My email is email@example.com. Take care of yourself and know that you are always in my prayers!
You are so so right about the children. They do have their days that are tough but like you said, they have their families to keep them busy...and they DO. On the other hand, here WE are sitting watching TV alone, looking at their favorite chair EMPTY and wishing they were sitting with us. I don't have a pet and I won't get one because I plan on going where I want when I want to visit my daughter who is 700 miles away, or my friend in Arizona, or my sister-in-law in Louisiana, etc. I don't want to have to worry about WHO is taking care of my pets. About 3 or 4 years ago, on New Years eve, Harry and I lost our Husky-shepherd mix who was only 4 years old. It was sudden and we were devastated. It was THEN that we said NEVER AGAIN will we get a pet. I believe had I gone first that Harry may have gotten another dog because he was not one to jump in the car and drive by himself 700 miles. He wouldnt have flown much either while I always visited my daughter about every 3 months.
I guess I had better get to bed. I have 3 grandchildren coming at 7:30 a.m. and 3 more joining them at 12:30. They will be here until about 5pm until their daddys get here and of course, I usually have dinner for them so their dad's don't have to go home and feed them after working all day. Their mommy's are working evening shifts. Take care and thank you for your positive feedbacks. Prayers much appreciated. I believe they are working already!!!!
Thanks for your post. The BEST part of that possible transplant in the future is that I live in Pittsburgh...one of the pioneers of transplants. Our Presbyterian Hospital here is one of the hospitals people come to from all over the world for transplants. I feel very lucky for that. I just pray I never need it and then I won't have to go through it without my beloved Harry.
Now getting set to deal with Father's day and I'm not sure how my kids will be but I know they are not looking forward to it. They have children so they will have to stay strong. It will be hard for all of us but at the same time I will be grateful to still have my dear father at the age of 80 who has been through 3-4 hospitalizations since Harry passed in Dec. we've had few scares but he's still here and we will celebrate. We will do our balloon launch at 6p.m. Everyone will send messages to "Pappy" and others whom we've lost. I think it will help the grandchildren to feel like they still got Pappy a Father's day gift. One set of grandchildren lost their other Pap less than 3 months after Harry died and they now hang all over me. We did not tell them when I was in the hospital because we were afraid they would associate being in the hospital with dying. They are 9-6 and 4. We are seeing more recently that they were affected more than we realized.
When our son died years ago, my husband and I decided to start saying how we really felt. A lot of people stopped asking and that was fine too because if they couldn't handle than they didn't need to try. Since Tim's death if someone asks who I think really care I tell them. If I don't think they care I say "pretty well under the circumstances" That is a lie but why waste time on them?
Others leaving by their own decision is a very good point. Even Tom. I appreciate your trying to help me, but I still think that my unwillingness to be healed is bringing people down. Maybe I'm wrong by saying repeatedly that I'm just waiting for God to call me. It's really how I feel but maybe these grief sites should be healing, not just venting. I can't let it go that I'm somehow responsible because of the content of my posts. I am thankful that I have you and the others here. I'm sorry to hear that you haven't been doing well, as it is with me as well. Hope things get better for you.
God bless you,