I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved husband that has brought you here. My husband of 32 years, Larry, passed in April of 2015 of cancer. Indeed the words "putting your life back together" are on the mark. I felt then that there was no future for me, or only one of sadness and loneliness.
As Janet says, this is a most stressful and difficult time for all of us , and I want to say that once I found this site, and the group Bereaved Spouses which I joined, my days took a turn toward hope and healing. There are so many compassionate souls who understand and can comfort us here in our early grieving. However you find the comfort and support you need, through Facebook or discussion groups, I hope we can help you through this most frightening early part of your journey without Bobby.
I have always felt that Larry had a hand in leading me to this site, and would suspect that Bobby played a part in your doing so. Our loving spouses never stop loving us any more than we do them. They stay close in spirit and watch over us in my opinion, and in the last three years i have had reason to believe that. I find it comforting.
Wishing you some peace today and in the days ahead - be gentle with yourself and those around you, and patient, because our grief turns us upside-down and inside out. But you will come through this George, I promise you. We will be here to help in any way we can - you are not alone in this.
I am so sorry for the loss of your lifelong partner. I lost my wife of 22 years to pancreatic cancer in Oct. 2015. This grief journey if very difficult. Please consider joining us on FB at a support group that I have found to be very helpful in my grief. Here is the link to that site: https://www.facebook.com/groups/LGBTgriefsupport/. I look forward to hearing form you on this site.