For those who had grown close to Pam...I wanted to send this to everyone. Her and my niece were on their way home from my house when they were side swiped and run off the road by a hit and run driver. Crime Stoppers has now jumped in offering a $5,000 REWARD!! I have added a link to a couple of the news articles as well as the Wanted Poster! Please repost and send to everyone you know! We have a description of the vehicle who took off so please repost and email this to anyone and everyone!
I am cloey bryans aunt! It is so tragic but cloey and her nanny were laid to rest on February 20th! Nanny pam bryan was a great woman! Clo-bug loved her nanny! They will both be very missed! Love u pam and clo! Xoxo
I'm regretfully posting this message to inform those of you that kept in touch with Pam Bryan that she was in a tragic accident on Saturday, February 20, 2010. Both Pam & her grand-daughter Cloey passed away. All other details are not known at this time.
Hi Pam, A nice cruise sounds so great, I just pretend My Son is away, He went to Colorado last year and he had such a great time, so I sometimes think of him there.... It is all so unreal to me, and I know that it is like that for a lot of us parents.
Hi Pam! And Tami and all. I feel like I know all of you as we share our hearts. I'd bet we share more with one another than we do our friends because they don't understand. I think your way of dealing is good. I've been told by counselors to talk to my son, tell him about my day etc. After all, he isn't forever gone, he is just in another place that I will get to join him in someday-eternity. There are times I can "feel" him close to me-especially with a certain song playing or etc. I treasure those fleeting moments. Always remember, as long as we are not in total denial all the time, then there is no right or wrong way to walk this journey. Once in awhile I actually find something funny & I know he is pleased that I found something to laugh at. We used to laugh together so much. Our losses are changing us. It is a change that we didn't want, but one that is happening in spite of our wishes. I am determined to be changed into a stronger, better person, more caring--that is what my Michael would want-so that is what I have as a goal. Maybe this idea will work for you & others--when you are ready. Just trust the Lord to bring you thru--even if its just for tday. Tomorrow, we will ask for HIS help again. Jill H.
Hi Pam, Thank you so much for thinking about me. I know how you feel when you say you just arent the same, I feel the same way. I was thinking last night how I get by each day, and then I thought, I pretend he is gone somewhere I know it is not healthy to think that way but that is the only way I know of to cope with it, Its hard when reality sets in.... Every night I say prayers for my Son and then I have to realize that he is gone, it breaks my heart over and over again, I know you know what I am talking about.
I started the page on here loss of a child, that is how I get comments, I just let everyone write on here what ever they are feeling, it helps me to read about others, to know that I am not going crazy with my own pain and grief, that my thoughts are not mine alone, that others feel the same way.
Thank you again for asking
and how are you doing? What do you do to cope? I know these are hard questions because each day is different.
HUGS to you and your Son Justin...
Oh and as far as I know, The add friends app on here isnt working.... I have never been able to add friends.
Sorry for the delay in my comments. Yes the 2nd. year is so much harder because the reality of our loss is REAL! I don't know if it helps but I refer to Kenny as eternally 23! Thats how old he was when he took his last breath sleeping next to his son who was 6 1/2 months old.
Pam, don't hurt yourself with guilt. You are paralyzed in your loss and pain. I know because I have to be mindful of my own paralysis. Knowing I am paralyzing myself is a huge battle I struggle with.
Your Jason knows that you love him! He knew it when he was here and now in his afterlife he is even more sure of your never ending love as his MoMMA!
I Miss Pam!! i was just thinking about you early this week, i wanted to know how you were doing, i found a tract that i though you would like to read, i could mail it too you if you'd like :) .. I just want you to find the comfort Jehovah has given me from the bible and many others who have experienced the loss of someone.
We all have trouble with the adding friends...and none have figured it out as far as I know. The best thing to do is just post to their page. I hope this helped.
Just know that all here are your friends and understand the pain you feel.
God be with you,
At 12:28am on January 24th, 2010, KMD said…
It seems we are in a very similar place. Last night I slept 2 1/2 hours and hopefully tonight I will sleep longer.
I still also struggle with the grave site, no on wants to join me either, and I have made it ok with me. I'd rather be there by myself, I can clip the grass or clean his stone and just talk and cry and talk more. I don't have to worry am I upsetting the other person, In the company of otehrs I am a caregiver and don't take care of myself! I guess it is like that for most moms.
I am so sorry for your tragic year 2008 first your mom than your baby boy Justin. Yes they are always going to be our babies. Waiting to see him again! Get some rest tonight and Know that Justin Loves you and those shadows you may see out of the corner of you eye every now and again. I believe it may be him or someone he has watching over you and loving you. These are a few crazy things that get me through the day. Take care karen Delete Comment
Hey Pam, Thank you for contacting me. I totally get where the comments on your wall have come from. It's been 21 months since I heard: I love You from my Kenny.
I read through your wall and this is my brief recollection of the first year after Kenny died:I explain to folks: Sorry...,have I met you? Do I know you I've Been In a Fog since 4/18/2008.
I attended support groups for a short time, but could not connect with the group.
I went to counceling for ~ 6 months in that first year & this is the what I took away from it:
YR.1: FOG,NUMB,all the phases of death/dying grief is experienced sometimes all in the same hour. Your emotions will wax & wane.
YEAR 2 : Worse than the 1st. WHY? BECAUSE NOW YOU REALIZE YOUR BABY HAS REALLY GONE AWAY And now you are only hopes to see him again in the next life.
YET I (and you may too) wish that you don't wake up every morning,but when you do,you go do whats expected of you.
So here I am @ 21 months later I still cry, I still talk about him ALLOT, sometimes if the person doesn't know he's dead they'll ask where does he live?
My response is the address of his grave site and I change the subject
I have nights where I can't sleep,etc....I read I journal I pray and that hole in my heart would get smaller but it still feels GIGANTIC Take care Kenny's mom Karen
I'M SITTING HERE AT 4 IN THE MORNING,CANT SLEEP MISSING MY JUSTIN WHO WAS 31 AND PASSED OCT.3 OF 08 THIS YEAR CRISTMAS HAS BEEN SO HARD I THINK LAST YEAR I WAS IN SHOCK. NOW ITS SO REAL THE PAIN THE MISSING HIM IT DOESNT SEEM NOTHING WILL EVER BE THE SAME. HE WAS SO SPIECIAL TO ME AS I KNOW YOURS WERE TO YOU WHY I LIVED MY LIFE I ALWAYS WANTED TO GO BEFORE ONE OF MY CHILDREN, I ALWAYS SAID WHEN I PASSED AND ALL MY 3 KIDS WERE THERE I WOULD BE BLESSED, WELL THAT WANT BE. IM SORRY IM JUST HAVING HARD TIME. JUSTINS MOM ALWAYS PAM BRYAN
I'm very sorry for your loss, i don't know what it feels like to lose a child, as I'm but a child..i have lost relatives and friends and so I'm told that is a different pain. So my condolences. You will be comforted to know that God doesn't purposely take people through death, and he gives us all a chance to see our lost loved ones again in the near future. I invite you too know how this possible: http://- the article http://www.watchtower.org/e/20090301/article_01.htm
if you just copy and paste it too your search engine I'm sure that will work :)
Does God Take Children to Become Angels in heaven" ...it also explains the hope to see them again! I hope you can look it up, it will bring much needed comfort to you. -Sincerely Dehuelbes
TO ALL THE BROKEN HEARTED MOMS I SEND MY LOVE. THE HOIDAY ARE BAD AND WE ALL ALL IN THE SAME PAIN MY HEART GOES OUT TOO ALL. MY DEAR SON JUSTIN IS MISSED EVERY DAY NO MATTER WERE IM AT AS IM SURE YALLS ARE, BUT SOME WAY THE GRACE OF GOD IS THE ONLY WAY I GUESS WE GET BY. MY BABY WAS 31 TWINS ON THE WAY THEY WILL BE 11 MONTHS TOMORROW HE DIDNT GET TO SEE BUT HE NEW HE WAS HAVING TWINS,AND WAS SO HAPPY. THEY ARE WITH ME TONIGHT AND IT DOES HELP AND SAD TO THAT HE WOULD BE ONE PROUD DAD. LETS ALL TRY AND BE STRONG TOMORROW AND KNOW OUR BABYS ARE WITH US IN THERE ON WAY. GOD BE WITH YOU ALL. LOVE JUSTINS MOM PAM
Thankyou for writing. I'm ok, I just have my ups and downs. Today was another emotional day. Today was my brothers 58th birthday, he passed away 6 years ago. Also we went to the military museum. My son was in active duty in the Army. I saw many military uniforms at the funeral services and at the that memorial given by the military. I get especially emotional when I see fatigues. My youngest went to a recruiters assembly to think about going into the military. I couldn't get near or face the Army recruiters. So don't be fooled I'm still greiving.
I well up take some deep breathes
My son was a twin I lost him July 19 2009. I haven't been told what the cause of death was other then he had a lot of medication in him but he had been in the hospital and they had made him take them. Today would have been his 36th birthday and after 4 months of heavy greiving I can find it in me to celebrate his life. I knew for the last two years he was suffering from PTSD and depression and nightmares. I have faith that gives me comfort and I feel his presence all around me. If it comes out that they believe it was suicide I know that something had to put him there and that was the cause. I believe his heart was broken. Take good care of yourself tho I know it may be hard for a while. Our children bring us pain when they enter this life and we survive. It is painful even when they can't be with us in life but we survive. It is terribly painful when we know they are in pain and/or are suffering. I spent many hours trying help him get thru his problems but I just couldn't. He is at peace now and no longer suffering or crying in pain. Our whole family and his friends have all pulled together to help support each other. And reached out our hand to others. May you have a higher power to help lead your way. To all the mothers who have lost a child my heart pours out to you.
Hi Pam, I don't recall if I've ever written to you. I'm so sorry for the loss of your Justin and I'm sorry for your not receiving responses. I started out my online grief journey on the Hospice site but there wasn't any activity on the loss of child section.(that's good) but I was feeling really desperate not to just share but to know someone,somewhere, read it and responded even if just to say, I'm here, I'm sorry. I usually read the wall and try to respond on the person's page. If you go to my page,my email address is there. I'd love to hear from you. Hugs of Hope.
Hi Pam, I started a new Group, just to see if we can get any help starting memorial pages, I have one but I am not that good, http://joey-scalise.last-memories.com/index.php that is my sons, I dont know how to add music and videos, but its a start, It isnt a free site, I think I paid maybe $40 for a year, i cant remember, there are a lot out there, Here is the link to the new group I added just to see if we can get help in starting one and maybe getting to learn how to put things on the sites once we have them going. My love to you and Justin....http://connect.legacy.com/group/helpinstartingamemorialsiteforourlovedones