Andrew, I am so sorry for your loss, you are in what is referred to as raw grief and suggest not to make any decisions within the first year of Frank's death. Your feelings are normal, we all had the what if's, the what should I have done differently, the whys, the how comes it is normal to say the least. It does not make the situation feel any different but your feelings are normal when one grieves such a loss of a loved one.
I do not post as often but when a person shows in my in box I just feel God is saying they need your help, so i will reply. Please come to this sight often. We are all grieving on this site and we are all in different stages of grief but grieving nonetheless. No one judges on this site because grief is are common denominator. The wonderful people on this site will extend a hand to lift you when down, to pick you up when you fall and to get you back on the right path. Hugs, Jane