Hi Carolyn, I didn't find this site for over a year and let me tell you I wish I had found it right away. I am so very greatfull I did because the depression was something I thought I could handle alone but boy was I wrong.I have been able to move on with my life but theres not a day that goes by I don't think of my husband and that will always be there.As you know there are so many feelings and at times you think your making progress then you fall backwards it is all part of the grieving process we will all go through good and bad times and when the time is right for you, you will know. There will hopefully come a time that you will be able to think about and remember your husband with smiles and happy tears. You will feel guilty at first and thats ok.We need to keep them alive and with us through our memories, and it's ok to talk about them if people are uncomfortable with it then they will have to deal with it, this is about you and no one else you must do whats best for you and in your own time. I look forward to hearing from you at any time. Hugs