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One Year Ago

Posted on March 5, 2010 at 5:29pm 0 Comments 0 Likes

One year ago, my oldest brother passed away. It has gotten easier but I still often ponder the "what if?" I really am doubting if my siblings and I did the right thing by pulling the life support from him? I know in my heart I did but I still question. Now my question is, why am I still questioning this? The scans all showed he was brain dead. No normal activity going on. Quality of life, there was none, according to all doctors and all tests. My feelings, set aside, I really pray God will ease… Continue

Almost a year ago now

Posted on February 16, 2010 at 1:08am 0 Comments 0 Likes

It's been almost year a ago that we lost Our Big Brother and he has been on my mind a lot lately. Why? The nightmares have ended, the of pain losing him hasn't been bothering me, but lately he has been on my mind.....It's done..It's over... No going back...Nothing would have improved his life, so why am I beating myself up about it now?

This time last year, I was back home doing the last thing I thought I'd never have to do...make the decision to end his life..Unplug his life support. I… Continue

you should read

Posted on August 2, 2009 at 9:00pm 0 Comments 0 Likes

hey sis you should read this article, it is very helpful. I just got done reading it. Let me know what you think? Love ya!!!! "Adult Loss of a Sibling" it's in the LEARN part, you have to scroll down to it.

Now What?

Posted on May 29, 2009 at 1:54am 2 Comments 0 Likes

My sister and i have been talking a lot about when we were younger and we both agree on one thing- it wasn't the greatest we've ever experienced. Partly because of our Father and brother. After Dad died I thought that I couldn't go on. I turned into a "Daddy's girl" and don't know when or why. Now my little sister and brother already were the babies and got spoiled rotten. Ask them and they won't admit to it at all. I feel the pain of losing my mom, dad and brother, all wrapped up into… Continue

Getting Through

Posted on May 26, 2009 at 11:17am 0 Comments 0 Likes

It's been two months since my brothers death. The nightmares stopped and then this morning I woke up with tears in my eyes and thinking, "He can't hurt me any longer." Why would that affect me like this? Why am I thinking (or dreaming) about the things he did to me when we were younger? I thought I'd made it through all those memories, so what is really going on in my head? How do I stop the pain again?

a great big brother

Posted on March 28, 2009 at 8:46pm 1 Comment 0 Likes

he was a great big brother.you will never be forgotten.I MISS YOU.and i love you.i know in my heart that i will see you again in heaven.your silbings love him.i know i wasn,t ready to let go,but know i am.

The Final Stages

Posted on March 27, 2009 at 1:44pm 0 Comments 0 Likes

The final stages have begun with Bobby. Just talked with the coroners office and they are permanently filing today. His death certificate will be available on Monday. No, I didn't ask what they had put for his cause of death. I'm afraid to. Isn't losing him enough? Do I really have to know WHY he died?
I already know why.
Why is there so much to do after a person dies?
Why is it so hard to keep moving forward with all that needs to be done?
Can anyone answer my questions?

Losing My Big Brother

Posted on March 19, 2009 at 6:01pm 1 Comment 0 Likes

Losing my big brother is by far the worst feeling that I've ever experienced.

Maybe if he was older, it wouldn't hurt as bad. Maybe not, but we will not ever find out.

He died legally on March 5,2009. But really he died on February 22, 2009 when he hit the floor. He had a brain stem bleed and was in a coma. He would have not ever woke up. My siblings and I had to make a choice for him. We remembered what he said when our Father was on life support. "He didn't want to ever live like… Continue

Our Brother, Bobby

Posted on March 9, 2009 at 4:00pm 1 Comment 0 Likes

To everyone who knew, loved and cared for Bobby, we his immediate family, Thank You for your loving support in our time of need.

Our brother lead the life he wanted and was very happy. With everyone that we have been talking with in the last few days, we are overwhelmed with HOW much he was loved in the town of Zion, Il.

Our parents died a long time ago and we all had drifted apart, raising our own families and leading our lives but didn't ever forget where we came from.

It's… Continue

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At 10:13pm on October 2, 2009, ann estrada said…: today my sister connie got a letter from gift of hope about bobby.telling her about the person that receved one of his kidneys.the person said thank you for saving his life.i would love to meet this person and thank him for his letter.and thank him for his kind words.on monday 10-05-09 would mark 7 months that bobbys been gone and dads been gone 10 years know.i miss them very much.love ann

At 10:09pm on September 7, 2009, ann estrada said…: today is 09/07/09.my big brother as been gone know for six months.it seems like yesterday that he pass away.i miss him alot.ive been thinking of him and mom,dad,grandpa,and grandma alot.i dont know why.

At 12:12am on June 22, 2009, Connie said…: Why is losing someone, no matter if it is a loved one, friend or just someone you got to know, so hard?
I had a person that I only knew for a year pass away on Thursday. I do not understand why I feel the way that I do. I really didn't know him that well. Well, the last few months we came to an understanding with each other. And we have always have gotten along in our own ways that no one else could understand. I will miss being called sweetie, baby, and darling and all the other cute little names that he would call me. It used to bother me but then I got used to him doing it, now I sure will miss all of that.