I will keep you in my prayers and thoughts on Mother's Day.  A thought:  I have found going to the grave sites of my parents to be unnecessarily difficult.  At my Mother's funeral, grave site, I read the HOPI Indian Prayer, the essence of which is my Mother "...is a thousand winds that blow...the glint off the snow...do not stand by my grave and cry.  I am not there.  I did not die".  I know for certain my Mother wouold tel me it is a wste to come to her grave and be sad.  There are many other ways to commemorate.  Live something they believed in.  And feel the compassion and the love they have for you having left you temporarily behind...Trust me, they do not want you to be sad.

Donna, I'll be thinking of you on Mothers Day and feeling some of the same feelings.  You're in my heart and my prayers.

Dear Donna - thanks for thinking of me. I'm hanging on. The hardest thing now is that I miss my son so much and want him with me. I pray every day to God that he will allow me to wake up and find that this was just a horrible dream. I know He can do it, but He doesn't seem to want to help me. I STILL cannot look at pictures of my beautiful boy - it just shoots a knife right through my heart.

Take care.
JoAnn

Donna - I guess we just feel exactly the same way.  We buried Tyler with my grandfather.  I went once with my mother about 6 weeks after he passed.  I've never been back.  Neither has my husband.  Just like looking at the pictures it is just too painful.  It drives home the fact that they are gone like a knife through my heart.  Last night I got up and as I walked past my door I looked down the hall and the light was on in Tyler's room behind the closed door.  For half a second I thought - thank you Jesus, it was just a horrid nightmare.  But that was not the case.

Love to you

JoAnn

Donna - I guess we just feel exactly the same way.  We buried Tyler with my grandfather.  I went once with my mother about 6 weeks after he passed.  I've never been back.  Neither has my husband.  Just like looking at the pictures it is just too painful.  It drives home the fact that they are gone like a knife through my heart.  Last night I got up and as I walked past my door I looked down the hall and the light was on in Tyler's room behind the closed door.  For half a second I thought - thank you Jesus, it was just a horrid nightmare.  But that was not the case.

Love to you

JoAnn

Hi Donna - I feel your pain, I truly do.  And all those people you feel you are letting down really DON't understand.  Because only if you have lost a child do you really know.  Compassionate Friends' newsletter had a quote a few months ago - 'Nobody looking in can ever know and nobody looking out can ever explain'.  It will be one year on 01/26 and today I walked all around the house for hours screaming and crying - 'come home now Tyler.  You can come home now'.  Crazy, I know, but I can't help it.  I will keep you in my thoughts.