well jessica welcome so to speak and maybe thats not the best way to put it but youve come to the right website for help. not much goes on in this group i suggest bereaved spouses lots of people besides me to help. im so sorry to hear about your husband. its going to be a long hard road take your time and many baby steps there is not time frame in this situation. im still in denial and my grief just like yours is still raw. in the group i mentioned lots of different stages going on there feel free to join and get more insite on this trip we are to young to be on. im also in that group and its helped a lot. even a couple poeple our age, who have kids just like us. no one judges, vent if you have to cry when you need to and make sure you take care of yourself for you and your kids they need you more now then ever. my son is the only reason i get out of bed and do things. your husband is by your side always and he wont leave you i promise mine hasnt left me i know hes here and it makes me feel a little better know that. i have good days and bad days now your probably still in shock i think im just coming out of shock. i hope to hear from you soon and anything i can do to help ill try my best if i dont know ill look it up. keep your head up big hugs to you and your kids try to hang in there and if it help it did for me hold your little one and cry but try not to break normal routines like school, bed time and meal time. hang in there im here for you and get in that group and you will have someone at all times on the day. try to keep your head up.