Julie , Thank you for your kind words, Jarrett was a very sweet boy and very handsome, loved by many, he loved people old , young and adored babies, loved life and lived it to the fullest. I cant even put in words how painfull it is losing Jarrett , and I also been told it will get better ,time heals, by I dont think it will ever get better, for each passing day the pain gets more unbareable.
Today is my daughter's birthday. She would have been 29. We lost her to a brain hemorrhage last May. I ache with sadness and loss every day and I think the pain will never go away. Maybe I am crazy but I have planned a party for tonight. Her father and I, brothers, and husband are going to her favorite restaurant - Olive Garden to eat and share memories, and then back to our house for cake and to release baloons with messages to her. I am looking at scrapbooks from her childhood. I had a good cry yesterday so I feel a little calmer today. I hope this helps my family and I. It just feels like we should do something to mark her birthdate. Anyway, thank you all for your continued support and God Bless all you other suffering parents!
Hi Julie, I have been slammed at work and unable to get back here for awhile. My daughter is doing okay, but I know Geoff's death affected her more that I really know. They were 6 years apart and had just started to appreciate each other and get closer. As for holidays, last year my siblings were in town over Geoff's birthday so we went to one of his favorite places, a bluff overlooking his favorite state park (Castlewood in West St. Louis County), his fiance read a poem she had written after he passed away and we released a balloon. It was very cool, the skies were darkening and lightening was off in the distance. We felt very much like he was with us that day. We also left a small monument behind in his honor. His body was creamated and we never buried the ashes, so that is still an open issue. His fiance has been scattering in some of their favorite places - they loved to camp and be outdoors - but I now have a need for a more permanent memorial of some kind. Am looking into a bench or other monument in one of his favorite parks, the County offers such a program. You mention your son that went through a rough patch but turned it around, I feel like Geoff was very close to doing that same thing. He had gotten his associates at ITT Tech and was just starting to turn things around. Unfortunately he still engaged in risky behavior like drinking, and was one of the unfortunate ones that it caught up with. I wish kids could read this site before they put themselves in jeopardy and could see what the effect their actions have on their grieving parents. It is such a difficult place to be in. Have a good week Julie and contact me any time.
Julie, my son was attempting to cross the highway and was struck by a car on 10/15/08. He and his girlfriend were on their way to a concert in Memphis when they ran out of gas. I know what you mean about being able to function, but I felt like I was on the "outside looking in" the first year or so. Life seemed to go on around me but i was not fully engaged in it. My job and co-workers have been a blessing, the job keeps me focused and the people I work with have been so wonderful and understanding. On his 24th birthday (August 20th), I just sat at my desk and cried all day. For some reason the birthday effects me more than the date of his death. Guess that's because it was so full of joy. He was my first child, I also have an 18-year old daughter who goes to Mizzou. The second year of his death seemed somehow worse than the first, that is when it really sets in that they are really gone. I feel the same way about not wanting to burden my friends, even though I know they wouldn't mind talking about it. I have been seeing a psychologist the past six months or so, it has been a big help. It is a safe place to just talk about my feelings and cry for an hour if I want to. I am also considering attending a group for bereaved parents. I wasn't ready for that for awhile, but feel that only those who have walked in our shoes really understand. I am so very sorry about your daughter, she sounds like a wonderful and caring person. How is her husband doing? How many sons do you have and how are they coping? It just seems like a bad dream most of the time and you just want the pain to go away. I will say the pain gets more manageable after awhile, but I feel like I am a different person than I was before it happened. Plus, I live alone now that my daughter is in college, so I have more time to think about it. Please feel free to write whenever you need to vent or just feel like talking. Bless you Julie, my heart goes out to you. Kathie
Hi Julie, I am from St. Louis and lost my 23-year-old son Geoff to an accident in October of 2008. I loved the photo you posted, is that your daughter? How old was she? I hope you are getting by okay, I call it a "grief journey" and it is a most difficult road to travel. If you feel like "talking" feel free to send me a message. This can be a lonely road we travel as bereaved parents. Kathie
Yesterday was a bad day. We lost our daughter 3 weeks ago and had planned to take her to an Eagles concert last night in St. Louis. It was like I had run into a brick wall. I was exhausted and depressed all day and didn't feel like doing anything. When my husband came home, he said he felt the same way. We hugged and cried. We were so disappointed that we didn't get to see her last night. We miss her so much!
I am so sorry about your daughter....We lost our sweet grandbaby on the 25th of March. It also was out of the blue, she was perfectly healthy, nothing at all wrong with her. She aspirated at the sitters and died in her sleep. It's just such a shock....I don't know about you but there's mornings I wake up and just for half a second it seems normal then you realize it wasn't a dream that you are living that never ending nightmare. I feel like we've been given a life sentence....She was my son and daughter-in-laws only child and just to watch them suffer has nearly been to much for me to bear. Please know I will be praying for you and your family....Everyday i try to look at Addison's picture and figure out what I was suppose to learn from her, I hope I can be a better person for having been her grandmother...Again, I am so sorry for your loss....if you need to talk please feel free to send me a message....