It's been 26 days since my precious girl was taken from me. Some days are just unbelievably painful that I wonder if I'm going to make it. All I can do is cry for her. My husband took me by the accident site Monday and there was a beautiful memorial on the side of the road. I still can't believe she's not here and that I'm never going to see that smiling face again. I feel like I lost everything on that tragic day. My hopes and dreams for the future. Seeing her get married to the love of her life and being there when she had her first baby. I can't get these thoughts out of my head and then there is nighttime where my thoughts drift to the accident. It's still there, the visions in my head of the accident. Waiting for some sort of sign from her to let me know that she is ok and that she didn't suffer. The police report says that she died at the scene at 8:38 AM but reported the accident happened at 8:24. That's 14 minutes. What was she thinking during those last few minutes. Was she hurt, was she scared. Was she calling out for me. This is killing me and I don't know how to handle it or move on.
I'm trying so hard not be angry or upset at the other driver for his carelessness that took her life along with his own. I just can't help it. Was being a few minutes late to work worth my daughters life?