The anniversary of my husband’s death is coming up in a couple of weeks.  The thoughts I have this time of year are involuntary.  It reminds me of a car wreck I once had where I pulled over against the guard rail and watched the out-of-control car spinning towards me.  It is a captivating moment.  The thoughts bombard my mind.  They crash into my routine and disrupt all order.  Life would be so much easier if he were here.  He would know how to fix that.  I wouldn’t be working two jobs.  He…