Marianne:  My thoughts are going to be with you tomorrow. I know what that day will be like for you.  My one year is August 4th. It will be a Thursday and I plan on taking that day off from work. My son found my husband when they were at a lake, he was face down in the water. I don't know what you plan for tomorrow but I'll tell you what I want to do. I want to be around people, take a trip to the beach which is about 10 minutes away and sit and stare at the waves like John and I used to do many many times. I know there will be tears, but I want to celebrate his life and what huge contribution he gave to so so many people he touched. Hugs to you...

 

 

Your story sounds so much like mine, I too have a great support system with a daughter, two sons and their families. Sometimes though I feel so angry and I can't just rant and cry in front of them. Friends were helpful at first but overtime they move on as they should with their husbands and families.

Marianne,
I apologize for rambling, my (ex)director use to call my emails "Thesis". I too wam still traumatized by finding Rose and not being able to do anything about it. The only positive spin that I can put on it is that she told me that she (as her father, but it was a terminal illness for him) did not want to pass on in either a hospital or nursing home.
So although everytime I think about finding her I can't help but tear-up (as I am now) I know it is where she wanted to pass on. I have also heard that the concept that even though they are legally passed, that they can continue to hear for a finite time after. So before the EMTs got there but after I knew I couldn't do anything for her I just talked to her and told her how much I loved her and was going to miss her.
Now I really have to go.
God bless,
Fred

Marianne,

Thank you for your reply as my feelings don't waver about this and as I wrote to Jerry, when I was being tested for a degenerating neurological issue, I received a copy of the report. Within the first paragraph the Doctor had written (as a part of my description) a widowed male of almost 4 years aged 54 still wearing his wedding band.

I looked at that and thought "and your point being...?", but obviously they think this is connected to my neurological issue.

Just FYI - I have been in 2 serious car accidents (one where my the front of my head split open) but those were 35-40 years ago and it didn't seem to affect me much (that I could tell), other than migraines and the epilepsy I have had most all my life.

Just after moving into our last house together my wife convinced me (against my better judgement) that she wanted to go buy some things and she didn't want me along (she would do that when she was getting me something) I said OK and at about 11:00 I got a call from a policeman that they pulled my wife over for going too slow and they thought she was drunk but she had asked him to call me to explain. I did and he was kind enough to bring her home.

After she was more cognitive she told me their were some things in the car, and where she parked it was not a secure spot so at about midnight I jumped on my mountain bike to go get the car.

I wasn't a block away before I hit a squared out water cutout in the sidewalk and went head long into the sidewalk, luckily my head cushioned the blow ;), I had received another frontal head injury (57 stitches to close) and a broken hand. I think that is when the neuro problem started. They saw 2 scars in my left side brain and the EEG is slowing on that side which started causing major memory (short term) losses that were affecting my work, so I had to retire at 25 years with disability.

God bless,

Fred

Marianne,

Thank you for your reply as my feelings don't waver about this and as I wrote to Jerry, when I was being tested for a degenerating neurological issue, I received a copy of the report. Within the first paragraph the Doctor had written (as a part of my description) a widowed male of almost 4 years aged 54 still wearing his wedding band.

I looked at that and thought "and your point being...?", but obviously they think this is connected to my neurological issue.

Just FYI - I have been in 2 serious car accidents (one where my the front of my head split open) but those were 35-40 years ago and it didn't seem to affect me much (that I could tell), other than migraines and the epilepsy I have had most all my life.

Just after moving into our last house together my wife convinced me (against my better judgement) that she wanted to go buy some things and she didn't want me along (she would do that when she was getting me something) I said OK and at about 11:00 I got a call from a policeman that they pulled my wife over for going too slow and they thought she was drunk but she had asked him to call me to explain. I did and he was kind enough to bring her home.

After she was more cognitive she told me their were some things in the car, and where she parked it was not a secure spot so at about midnight I jumped on my mountain bike to go get the car.

I wasn't a block away before I hit a squared out water cutout in the sidewalk and went head long into the sidewalk, luckily my head cushioned the blow ;), I had received another frontal head injury (57 stitches to close) and a broken hand. I think that is when the neuro problem started. They saw 2 scars in my left side brain and the EEG is slowing on that side which started causing major memory (short term) losses that were affecting my work, so I had to retire at 25 years with disability.

God bless,

Fred

Marianne thank you for the support. Who would have ever thought we would all be connected this way. I never imagined I would be a widow. That is just such a tough pill to swallow. I cannot wrap my brain around the word single. I am just on autopilot each day going to work, running errands, meeting with friends, trying to finish raising my 19 year old son who lives with me. He is the one who found my husband, they had gone to a lake an hour away to ride our jet ski.  My husband had stayed on shore while my son took if for a spin, when he returned my husband was face down in shallow water. My son is trained in CPR and he could not save him. Thank you for writing....

Thank you for the tip. My beloved was with Hospice and I am surprised they did not offer. I will call and ask. Thank you again!

 

Thank you for the tip. My beloved was with Hospice and I am surprised they did not offer. I will call and ask. Thank you again!

 

Thank you all my friends