Michelle, thank you so much for your comment. I have been trying my best to take care of myself ad at times it is really hard. I have beeing going to councelling and a grief support group, but I can feel the anger welling up in me. I know it is part of the process, but it scares me because I am not an angry person and the feeling is so unknown to me. I just wish it was different and that I had my little sister back and that she would be able to life a nice long life....

I lost my sister 3 years ago in a very senseless car accident.  I am so sorry for your loss. I deal with things better than I did the first year but the pain is still there. I remember hiding in the bathroom so the shower would hide my screams from my husband. I still worry that my emotions will effect my husband and family. I never imagined a loss like this. She was my one constant that was always there.  Know that there are people out there who are dealing with this sort of loss. Thinking of you:)

Jan, There IS a God! Talk to Him and He'll ease your suffering. This is NOT our only life. My daughter, Candace, came to me the day b/4 her funeral. I was able to speak calmly, somewhat, at her service. I'm not crazy. I'll never be the same after loosing my only child. But now I have something to look forward to. Also, I rented a room from my girlfriend's stepDad. We knew he was dying from Cancer. He told me, if he could, he would let me know there is another place we go.  After he passed he made the smoke alarm go off in our kitchen. We had taken the batteries OUT because it always went off when we cooked. This was b/4 Candace passed. BELIEVE!